A collection of misc thoughts, rants, and ramblings... Nothing too personal is in here. Honestly, it's just life updates and writing when I can/want to. I used to share all of my writings but then realized that it was fucking weird and decided to rein it in. Enjoy..!

9/06/24 [10:40am]
Holy shit it's been 6 mounths since I've written in here.
To be honest I have very little to write; I'm currently in class. The only thing I have to say at this moment is that I am incredibly tired of the perpetuated idea that "suicide is the most selfish act a person can do." or that its "selfish" at all. I dont have a lot of interest expanding on this, to be honest. That is for no reason other than it exhausts me to define and break down something so clear and simple, especially when it is mainly reliant on empathy.
Hope youre all doing well.


3/4/24 [1:44pm]
This isn't gonna be a super long entry or anything. I just want to vent about this shit and organize my thoughts… The supreme court ruled today that Trump must be allowed to be on the CO ballot (or every state ballot, really…) I’m just really fucking sick of the united states. I'm so sick of rich people getting away with shit. Trump literally incited a riot that caused the January 6th siege and the supreme court, 1/3 of which was appointed by Trump, still overruled multiple states at this point, ultimately allowing him to run. It’s just fucking unconsitituional. How can a felon run for president when felons cant even vote? We are so fucked. I would write more but I have to get to my next class…Hope nobody is feeling as hopeless as I am right now.

1/29/24 [9:36pm]
To be totally honest I am starting this journal entry because I have to write an essay and I want to test how “difficult” it is to write 400 words. I figured I might as well make this test worth something so… hello website! I am fucking awful at writing in this online-journal and for that I am sorry. I have no real life updates, though I do want to say that I often find myself thinking of things to write about and telling myself: “I should write about that…'' but then I just don’t have time/am too lazy/forget/etc. Let’s check the word count so far… 109! Shit. This is going to take me wayyyy too fucking long. This paper is due tomorrow at 8pm. It’s on biological anthropology (as if I give a shit.) I haven't started it… obviously. I’m sure it will be fineeeeeeeeee.
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Today, while walking back to my dorm, I thought that I should write about my younger self because I was listening to the band that (kind of embarrassingly?) got me through my fucked up younger days. That band being Human Petting Zoo. I still love that artist and I would never deny that, but I don't listen to their stuff very often; if ever, sadly. Word check: 210.
While listening I thought about how weird it is that I can remember *so vividly* listening to one of their songs in my bedroom, probably 7th grade, in a house that I hated, feeling fucking awful at wayyyy to young. But now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and I’m in college. Obviously a good thing but… there’s also this weird part of me that finds the whole thing unnerving because it feels like it happened such a short period ago. It’s been probably 7-8 years since that time and it feels like it was only 3. I can’t say I’m “upset” about how I spent those 7-8 years… it’s not like this upsets me because I’m thinking “I’m getting old” or “I haven't made good use of my time alive” it’s more just that I don’t know why I feel like it was so recent.
Another thing with this, when I think about how old I am; in my head the first answer has always been “13.” I have no fucking clue why. I am most definitely not 13 and it has been YEARS since I was. I assume these two things are semi-related. I don't know.
409 words… that took me WAY longer than it should've… great.

1/24/24 [1:40pm]
Hello, all. I'm currently waiting for my next class to start so I thought I'd pop in and write real quick.
Life is going good, I think. I ended up being selected for top of my class by one of the best instructors in my major and I made "deans list" (which is truly not difficult) but I'm still excited about it. I have a cat offcially! I'm not going to write his name here but he is the best and I love him.
I miss my mom and dog a lot... my mom may come to visit soon tho, which will make me feel better.
I'm objectively at a very good place right now. Not working, only school. I have the best friend group I could ever ask for. I'm relatively healthy. My classes are going fine.
I am a little worried about math and science tho... taking both this semester. My math class uses a program called "R" for all of our calculaations. It's a data-science class. I'm doing alright with it so far... me knowing basic HTML/CSS is helping a lot.
I love my boyfriend

9/11/23 [11:52am]
It's Dylan's birthday. He would've been 41 today...