1/29/24 [9:36pm]
To be totally honest I am starting this journal entry because I have to write an essay and I want to test how “difficult” it is to write 400 words. I figured I might as well make this test worth something so… hello website! I am fucking awful at writing in this online-journal and for that I am sorry. I have no real life updates, though I do want to say that I often find myself thinking of things to write about and telling myself: “I should write about that…'' but then I just don’t have time/am too lazy/forget/etc. Let’s check the word count so far… 109! Shit. This is going to take me wayyyy too fucking long. This paper is due tomorrow at 8pm. It’s on biological anthropology (as if I give a shit.) I haven't started it… obviously. I’m sure it will be fineeeeeeeeee.
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Today, while walking back to my dorm, I thought that I should write about my younger self because I was listening to the band that (kind of embarrassingly?) got me through my fucked up younger days. That band being Human Petting Zoo. I still love that artist and I would never deny that, but I don't listen to their stuff very often; if ever, sadly. Word check: 210.
While listening I thought about how weird it is that I can remember *so vividly* listening to one of their songs in my bedroom, probably 7th grade, in a house that I hated, feeling fucking awful at wayyyy to young. But now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and I’m in college. Obviously a good thing but… there’s also this weird part of me that finds the whole thing unnerving because it feels like it happened such a short period ago. It’s been probably 7-8 years since that time and it feels like it was only 3. I can’t say I’m “upset” about how I spent those 7-8 years… it’s not like this upsets me because I’m thinking “I’m getting old” or “I haven't made good use of my time alive” it’s more just that I don’t know why I feel like it was so recent.
Another thing with this, when I think about how old I am; in my head the first answer has always been “13.” I have no fucking clue why. I am most definitely not 13 and it has been YEARS since I was. I assume these two things are semi-related. I don't know.
409 words… that took me WAY longer than it should've… great.