Transcripts of Videos from the 'CulturalPhillistine'
All transcript credit to u/maggot_brain79 on Reddit, truly a godsend.
MESSEGE BELOW IS FROM THEIR PDF FILE. (DOWNLOAD HERE)
"
[this YouTube channel is widely believed to have been owned and operated by Adam
Lanza, who on December 14th 2012 murdered his mother and attacked Sandy Hook
Elementary School, killing 26 and then committed suicide. I do not approve, espouse or
endorse any of his beliefs as described in these transcripts, his videos or anywhere else, I
also do not condone or endorse his actions. This material is meant to be informational and
nothing else. All of the audio has been transcribed by hand and is meant to be verbatim to
the best of my ability.]
"
-u/maggot_brain79
THE POST | THEIR ACCOUNT
Title: "My Antinatalism"
Date: September 07, 2011
"I didn't understand this when I was younger, but I've always had an
immense hatred for culture. I consider culture to be delusional values which humans
mindlessly coerce onto each other, spreading it no differently than any other disease. I
previously sought to eliminate my cultural values to the greatest extent that I could.
Through this I expected to gradually discover values of an inner-self which could be
reconciled with this society, so that I could engage in activities and pursue goals which
would lead to happiness."
"Eventually I got to a point where I had sufficiently freed myself from what I called
'cultural values' when I analyzed all of the things which brought me happiness and all
the goals which I wanted to pursue, I realized that absolutely everything about those
things that appealed to me was entirely a consequence of my cultural infection.
Formerly, I had rejected some aspects of culture while accepting other ones, and merely
not calling them cultural as if those values were somehow transcendent and fine. It was
at that point that I realized that there is no such thing as an inner self. Any sense of self
is a delusional cultural construct. I realized that cultural infections were the sole source
of any possible value beyond base values. For a while, I believed that happiness could
be attained if culture could theoretically be eradicated and anarcho[sic]-anarcho
primitivism were to take hold. Replace all instances of technology with culture in the
analytic sections of Industrial Society and Its Future (Ted Kaczynski, 1995) and you
basically have my mentality at the time regarding the pernicious effects of culture."
"The problem was that I'd not been addressing what happiness is. Happiness is merely
the fulfilment of value, I recognized that if cultural values were eliminated, the happiness
which results from their fulfilment would not be needed because happiness becomes an
unnecessary and incoherent concept when it is removed from its' concep[sic]-context. A
common theme in my quasi-Anarcho Primitivist thought at the time is that non-base
values exist only as a consequence of cultural infections, and impede on the happiness
which results from the fulfilment of feral values. As if [?] my feral self is - in short
metaphysically the real me, whose soul had been devoured by the culturally constructed
imposter of the self. But my feral self was also an imposter. Just as I realized that I
could eliminate non-base values and have no need for the happiness which resulted
from their fulfilment, I could eliminate base-values and have no need for the happiness
which resulted from their fulfilment."
"It was not only the disease of culture that had been plaguing me all- all along, it was
the disease of life itself. I was not and I am not in some existential crisis, I've never had
the slightest problem with the obvious nonexistence of free will, objective purposes, and
all of that. I have always been entirely psychologically capable of accepting my own
subjective values and goals, even though I know they are consummately
inconsequential, and it doesn't bother me at all."
"The problem is not that I seek meaning and cannot find it. The problem is that I do feel
immense meaning, and so does everyone else who is alive. Meaning is an abstract
interpretation of value which exists only because of life. Just as I sought to eradicate the
delusional values which culture infected me with, the final solution is the termination of
my life, to rid myself of all value. The solution cannot be to embrace some aspect of life,
as if the erosion of delusions is the cause of this. Life is what urgently caused me to
have value, and changing my life will never do anything but create different delusions
than the ones I already have. Unfortunately as of right now I lack the discipline to
pursue my death and to rid myself of the values which delude me, even though I
recognize [that] the solution to life is death. But I do commend others who do commit
suicide. They have freed themselves from culture, life and all value. They have freed
themselves from themselves."
Title: "Rambling vlogrant of a ruminative vagrant (Part 1/2)"
Date: September 07, 2011
"I suppose I should add a video to my channel where I'm not reading
something which I wrote before the video, and instead just ramble about...basically
whatever comes to mind, so that I seem like less of a robot. And I...I haven't slept very
recently, so I'm probably going to ramble incoherently, but I'm...not excusing my
rambling, by really saying that though because I always ramble."
"But, anyway, I was just recently thinking about all of this 'it gets better' nonsense, you
know, with, with um, pertaining to the teenagers being bullied into committing suicide.
And, uh, the concept of bullying in general. And I've, in my life, I don't think I've ever
conventionally been bullied. I can't really remember a single instance, but it's, it just
seems so ironic, all of this nonsense. Even though I wasn't bullied in a conventional
sense, I was bullied in the normal cultural sense, which everyone is bullied in. And when
people speak about that, 'it gets better' nonsense, they say it in the context of 'well our
children are being bullied, what can we do to create an environment in which they can
thrive?' And that seems like such a blatant contradiction to me, because it's really
demonstrating the true bullying that's going on, and that bullying is what every child is
subjected to. The imposition of cultural values. And the only reason why they
oppose...the conventional sense of bullying is because it interferes with their cultural
imposition of value. And...it's just, children are constantly bullied in every sense of the
term, when it comes to their upbringing."
"Like, one instance I recently remembered, this...heh, this isn't I guess, a very good
representation of what I'm talking about but I remember when I was about ten years old,
and at the end of the day in elementary school we would get into lines and go from
room to room, to gather the kids for the right bus. And I remember that, when I was in
the line, we would get to a section of portable rooms which weren't connected to the
main hallway so we would wait at that door which leads to them. And...the students,
from there, would come join the line, and I remembered that usually I would, I don't, I
don't really remember what I was doing but I would frantically signal to them as if there
were some emergency. Um, I wasn't serious, I was..I don't know what I was doing, I was
just bored I guess."
"And anyway one day I looked through the window from the door leading to the portable
classrooms, and I saw that the principal of the school was speaking to someone over
there. And I thought, 'oh well I can't goof around when she's there', so I said out loud to
the people, um, to the other students that were at the line there with me, I said 'oh the
principal is there, well, I don't care', and by that time I just thought I was going to just,
flap around, just motion as if there were some emergency, anyway, just fooling around.
And the vice principal happened to be standing behind me, hearing me say 'oh the
principal's there, I don't care', and she said the statement 'you should care', as if it
were...something very insightful, and wise. And, even though she misunderstood the
context of what I was saying, ignoring that, just, looking at that statement 'you SHOULD
care', and that really...is a representation of, what childhood is. It's children saying, 'I
don't care, I don't want your values, I don't want to live', and adults constantly saying
'you should care about values, you should choose culture, you should choose life', and
that's what parenting and childhood and education and all of that is. It's just adults
bullying children into accepting their values. So how can you possibly criticize, people
for mocking the homosexuals and bullying them in some sense, when you're the ones
who're incessantly bullying children? And, in that vein, heh, man, and the children, they
grow up to do the same exact thing. And they just senselessly propagate these cultural
memes...forever. It just keeps going on, they keep bullying each other, and there's no
point to any of it."
"And this kind of ties into an interest I have, which is...well, heh, um...basically the way
in which society treats pedophiles. And before I go any further, I should say, I'm not a
pedophile, I've never knowingly had any contact with any pedophiles...at all. And, just
strictly an academic interest in the subject, but... it... this whole bullying theme, it's
remarkable how they can say that homosexual teenagers are being bullied, when any
discrimination which homosexuals face is infinitely more insignificant when compared to
the discrimination which pedophiles are faced aga-w- face against. Um, I mean, first off
everyone hates you, you're subject to innumerable hate [comments?] just right off the
bat, but if you're ever known to have engaged in a pedophilic relationship with a child,
you're instantly imprisoned for long periods. You're put on a sex offender registry for the
rest of your life. You are brutalized in prison, and people actually celebrate that as if it's
a good thing. And then if you're lucky enough to escape prison with your life, you're on
that sex offenders registry or possibly castrated, you're tracked with a GPS device in
some instances, and...there are just, so many issues pedophiles face, and everyone
seems to think that it's not a problem at all, it's somehow justified that they're treated in
that manner."
"And...and, you have to develop such extensive arguments just to refute that delusion,
that somehow having sex with children is harmful to them innately. When, I'm...I've
written an essay that's already 10,000 and, I'm nowhere near finished and it's already
10,000 words long with eight-thousand words in notes that I have to add. It'll probably
end up over 25,000 words and it's just refuting this simple nonsense. And basically, all
that it really boils down to, is that children aren't harmed by having sex, the reason why
pedophilia is opposed is because it combines an ata-atavistic cultural opposition to sex
with the undermining of authority of adults who relegate children to the property of
status. Uh, sorry, to the status of their property. I've...typed that sentence, or forms of it,
so many times, and it's really all that it is. It's just that you're undermining their authority
to impose their cultural values on children, and of course when you interfere with that
process, people are going to react violently. And it's...not innately harmful for children to
have sex, it's.. so absurd, I've never seen a valid argument stating as such. And, um,
really that's all that culture is. It's just the imp - the reason why I'm interested in this topic
of pedophilia, is not because I have any ties to it, at all. It's because it really represents
what culture is. It's a bunch of lies that exist to propagate itself. Infecting countless
children for countless generations and just...continuing to perp-perpetuate, heh, I
promise in the future I'll make some videos about pedophilia I'm not just gonna leave it
on that note. My...arguments are much more refined than what I've just stated, but really
it's just a bunch of nonsense."
"And...why do...people even....people seem to think that, they're doing their children a
favor, when they're imposing values on them. They're thinking 'my values are so great
that a child needs to be brought up with them', they, um, they - they don't really realize
what they're doing. And, first off I'm talking about people who actually choose to have
children, instead of the 'whoops the condom broke guess I just raped the soul of our
offspring', instead I'm talking about those people who intend on having children and
intend on giving them a quote 'better life' than they had."
"These people experienced what they consider to be trauma when they were children,
saying 'oh my family was too poor to provide for us' or 'oh my family somehow abused
us', and because of that they think that they can do their children a favor by changing
their behavior when having their children. But, you're not doing your children any favors,
you're not, it's like they think that you're...that somehow that process of parenting is
progressing towards some enlightenment, but it's not doing that at all, the only reason
why you...would want to do that with your children is because, not because you're being
selfless, you're being selfish. You're trying to remedy your own psychological baggage. I
mean, the children have nothing to do with it, they don't exist, they don't, they aren't
subjected to whatever you were subjected to. It's... uh, I don't even know."
"You don't do your children a favor by raising them in any way, all that you're doing is
imposing values onto them and they're going to have to... do the same thing to their
children, to fix their baggage and all of that nonsense. You think that you're progressing
toward something, and I'm not saying that you're not progressing, that you're somehow
deviating from some progression or...that you're going in circles. I'm not saying that at
all, you're not going in circles, you're not progressing, you're...not doing anything.
There's no movement at all, you're stuck in the zeroth dimension and I'm stuck in the
zeroth dimension with no movement at all because... that's the structure of life. And
that's what value demands, you're not accomplishing anything by doing any of this,
you're just trying to fulfill the values that you've been instilled with. And if you don't have
children, you don't need to fulfill any of those values. Uh... not sure where I should go
right now, I mean, what I should talk about."
"It really irritates me how people... they seem to say that, why should it be celebrated
when a child is born? I think that you should say, um, 'I'm so sorry for your loss'
whenever you hear that someone is pregnant. And it's the same thing with suicide, I
used to feel sorry for people who committed suicide but I think they have the right idea."
"Now I commend them, I think that people should throw celebrations when someone
commits suicide because... they're able to escape this value trap. And... heh... I wish I
were that determined, but I'm still psychologically stuck in all of this, I probably won't be
pursuing that any time soon, but I've never heard a single good argument against
suicide. (laughter) My favorite one is 'it's selfish to commit suicide!', as if it's somehow
not selfish for those people to force that person to live who has already determined that
life is not worth living, just so that they can fulfill their needs. Or rather their values, you
don't need anything. But I guess in the vein of that whole, parenting thing, you imposing
values onto your children to address your own...that's basically all that politics is,
anyway."
Title: "Rambling vlogrant of a ruminative vagrant (Part 2/2)"
Date: September 07, 2011
"I used to enjoy reading, um, anything written by authors like...Proudhon,
Kropotkin, especially Tolstoy, Emma Goldman, Alexander Berkman, Benjamin Tucker,
basically any anarchist whether they were individualists or collectivists, I enjoyed all of
that, and I used to think that I was progressing toward something by learning about
anarchist philosophy. That as if it were somehow anti-cultural, as if I were destroying
some [archons?] of the mind. But, I... I was doing no such thing, the only reason why I
was ever interested in anarchist philosophy is because I felt...because of the
experiences I had in my life, I felt as if I were hurt by the concept of authority. And if I
had never been exposed to that concept I would've never pursued any of this, anarchist
philosophy. And that's basically an understatement[?] of what I was thinking back then.
But, I guess the essence of it. And so that's all that politics is, people who've, because
of the lives they've lived have acquired certain values and they try to fulfill that by
promoting their political agenda as if it's... progressing towards something, but it's not,
it's just addressing your psychological baggage."
"And it's all complete nonsense. I wasn't anti-cultural in the sense that I thought I was
getting beyond culture, it was just counter-culture. And that's basically, well that's
basically all life...and now I'm getting into the incoherent stage. (laughter) Anyway,
people think that 'oh, well of course politics matters, because people's rights need to be
forced, right?' but that's not true because these rights are just another cultural
abstraction. They...um, they don't exist at all. Basically, they say that... you can
somehow derive rights through some criteria, whatever that may be, what those may
be, and I used to think that that were possible, in some sense."
"That doing those things were possible, but I, and I used to believe in the concept of
logical contradictions, but I was just misinterpreting the way in which logic was applied
to determine rights. Such as, I used to think it was a contradiction for people to say...
screensaver just came on, heh... that's going nowhere. That it was a contradiction for
people to say that bestiality somehow violated an animal's rights and yet those same
people, the same meat-eaters, would advocate factory-farming. And they didn't think
that violated an animal's rights, when how could you possibly say that having sex with
an animal violates its rights but killing the animal does not? It didn't make any sense to
me, but I was just misinterpreting the way that they were using their so-called logic.
They weren't using their logic so that they could determine what rights existed, they
were applying their logic so that they could determine how they could best fulfill their
subjective values. So basically when they saw someone having sex with an animal, they
thought 'Ew, I don't like that, I should create a right by which an animal can be free from
this so I can be free from that' and then they say 'oh, bacon is tasty so therefore we
should create property rights over animals' and 'no animals don't have a right to live
because XYZ', and you try to refute those assertions but it's not those assertions upon
which their argument is based. It's just based in the fulfilment of their subjective values
and that's really all that rights are."
"And here's another sentence I used to write all the time, or type all the time, but I'll try
to get it right: 'Rights are just euphemisms for the use of violence against someone who
deviates from the fulfilment of the subjective values of a group which has a capacity to
kill', I think that basically describes it, and that's really all that it is. It's just a group with
the capacity to kill who is coercing people to behaving in ways which allow the
maximum fulfilment of their subjective values. And morality is similar... not identical, but
similar. Morality doesn't exist and I don't mean morality is subjective, I mean moral
statements have no validity, they are completely incoherent. It's... morality is basically
just a cultural abstraction of subjective values, so people just select arbitrary values and
then they say...and they duck-taped them together under the banner of moral language,
they say 'my behavior is ethically or morally justified' instead of saying 'my value is
leading me to act in this way' and that's all there is to morality, there's really nothing
more."
"Oh man I just remembered, I guess I should comment on this whole race-thing, with
'Hey Ruca'[?] and what-not. I don't really understand why... if people like 'Hey Ruca'
want to advocate segregation of races because they value those races, because they
put value in those races' value so much that they want... that value to prosper, in their
own settings, if their so obsessed with the value I don't understand why they stop at
ethnicity instead of some other category because, it's quite obvious that even among
ethnicities, their values are radically different so if they love value so much then I don't
know why they're focusing on race, I think... it's probably just another abstraction that
only, I don't want to spend time thinking about it because it's so pointless."
"And I'm not saying that, um, we should encourage diversity and... not saying that we
should segregate, because both integration and segregation are nonsensical. They're
just two systems under which culture prospers and we all lose. There's really no
difference between them. This goes into what I used to, sort of, my prior thinking, I used
to address the issue of language being cultural. Oh man, I hate language so much,
maybe I'll talk about that later. But I used to address the problem of language being
cultural, by just saying 'oh um, worldwide implementation of Esperanto should solve that
problem' it was such a trivial way to deal with that, because I wasn't... all that, um,
integration allows to happen is, all that it does is kill competing viruses to let one virus
prosper. There's really no difference between integration and segregation, it's just the
propagation of culture under different systems. And about language... oh man, I have a
special place in my heart for language because it's the primary method by which cultural
values are coerced onto other people."
"And you can't, it's like the wheezing of someone with tuberculosis. It's a symptom of it,
it's also the method by which it propagates to other victims, and there's nothing you can
do about it. You're forever stuck with this, language, all these abstractions... but here I'm
going back into my, my anarcho-quasi- I should say quasi-anarcho-primitivist ideology
when really it's not culture that's the problem, it's value that's the problem. It's the
structure of value itself, it's not only cultural value, it's feral value too. It's all a part of the
same nonsense... and sort of similar, to the whole race debacle, is the Efilists[?], um,
even though I'm adamantly opposed to the structure of life, I... I differ from the Efilists in
several regards, the main issue is their... they invoke these cultural objections like rights
and morality to further their ideology. And, I'm not appealing to anything, I've recognized
that there's nothing transcendant about my ideas, they're just a consequence of the life
I've lived, but it's kind of like how Jay[?] said, there...there are so many people from
different backgrounds who come to the same conclusion about anti-natalism, about the
structure of life, it's um.. not appealing to anything, you can just look for yourself at the
structure of life and you can see, it's just like how Gary[?] says, he says that, the
simplest way, it's just a need that need not exist. And that's all that life is, and it's so
easy to see that. That you're just, fulfilling these values which... there's, which have no
reason to exist. And I don't need to say it's a moral to fulfill that, I just say... it's ridiculous
according to my own standards, and apparently the standards of many other people. I
mean I'm not really sure I can communicate this, maybe it's not even possible to
communicate this, because of the structure of life. Because I can't free myself from
value and still communicate that I hate value."
"It's my value which leads me to hating value. (sigh) And another thing about the Efilists
is that a lot of them seem to think, that it's possible for there to be... it's possible for
there to be an instance under which it would be a good idea to propagate life, that if
suffering were abolished tomorrow, that it would be okay to bring new lives into the
world or to live your current life. But I don't really focus on suffering, at least not directly,
I focus on really, value itself, that's the problem. Even if there were Paradise tomorrow,
and there were no suffering forever in the future, I would still be advocating this position
because I... you can sum me up in one sentence: I have a vendetta against value. So
instead of an Efilist I'm more of a... [?] I only oppose life because life is the source of
value and it's value that I really hate. [short pause] Well I guess that just says it all: I
have a vendetta against value. And I guess that's a good place to finish my video, I
mean I basically support the Efilists because I do hate life and value, but um... it's just
that I have several problems with them, and also the same applies to Gary[?] there are
a lot of things I disagree with him about but listening to his rants are kind of my idea of
pornography. It's just fun to listen to."
"Oh, and speaking about pornography, if anyone comments on this video, I'm sure that
90% of them will be about the whole 'pedophilia' thing, I just want to emphasize I am not
a pedophile, I don't know any pedophiles, it's just an academic interest. And if any of
you 'pedo-phobic' um, inclined individuals want to comment about this, I'd like to hear
some unique arguments affirming the position that children having sex is innately
harmful, because it's been a really long time since I've found a unique argument
advocating that position. So... if you can, try to add some of those in the comments,
but..um, until then, thanks for listening and maybe someday in the future I'll...I will
definitely in the future make some videos about pedophilia and elaborate on my
position, but also someday in the future maybe I'll add another one of these rambling
videos, depending on how well this comes out. I should listen to it and probably think
about myself 'oh that guy's such a liar, just listen to his voice, listening to his intonation,
he's obviously a pedophile!" And who knows? ...Maybe I am."
Title: "Antinatalism at light speed!"
Date: September 14, 2011
"Goodness is the fulfilment of value, value exists only in life. If there is no
life, there is no value. And thus goodness becomes an entirely irrelevant concept."
Title: "Cults and Culture"
Date: September 15, 2011
"The accusations about Efilism being cult-like are presented with the
implication that cults are irrational groups who propagate delusional values. I'm not
going to be addressing Efilism in this video, I just want to speak about cults themselves.
Cults generally exhibit similar characteristics as outlined in ArchLord's[?] video. These
include: members yielding to an unaccountable authority who controls their behavior,
using various emotionally and psychologically manipulative tactics to suppress dissent
and modify the behavior and beliefs of its members, demonization and desolation for
anyone who goes against the values of the cult, along with a preoccupation with
converting anyone who might be receptive. And justifying any means necessary to
further propagate their ideology, including actions which are otherwise generally
regarded as immoral."
"Ostensibly, you start at a neutral perspective and observe a cult which exhibits these
behaviors. You ask, if their beliefs had any validity then why would they have to resort to
these underhanded tactics of manipulation? Why are cults like this? A similar question
to ask is why terrorists do what they do. More specifically, how their activities can relate
to that of those of governments. Governments have omnipresent legal institutions and
law enforcers which serve to force or intimidate people into not behaving in ways which
deviate from the fulfilment of their values. Terrorists need to resort to attacks against
civilians, kidnappings, assassinations, and other methods to have the same effect.
Governments are able to project massive militaries with sophisticated equipment to
foster their interests. Terrorists have to resort to methods as seen in Mumbai in 2008.
Governments have educational institutions and regulations which can-which can
inculcate values and modify the behavior of its citizens, in ways which are consistent
with the fulfilment of the government's values. Terrorists need to resort to methods like
propaganda of the deed[?] and manifestos."
"I recognize that there may be a semantical issue here, but just grant it. And
governments have taxes and central banks, terrorists need to resort to burglary,
counterfeiting and money-laundering. I'm not trying to normatively justify terrorism, I'm
just describing a difference in the operation of the two groups. If someone shares the
values which the dominant government promotes, then they are not neutral when they
observe the activities of terrorists and dismiss the validity of their ideology because the
terrorists resort to tactics that the government would never use. Governments, already
being dominant, merely have no need to resort to the tactics of terrorists because they
are viewed with legitimacy and thus have their own more efficient tactics."
"I suspect that most of you listening to this aren't of the flag-waving persuasion, so I'll
assume you understand that terrorists aren't bad people who are jealous of happy
governments and I'll leave it at that. This dynamic applies to its fullest extent when
pertaining to cults and culture, it can be seen in the way that children are treated.
Children's free wills are suppressed and annihilated in every conceivable manner in all
cultures, but I'll just be speaking about this one."
"A child's associations, location and every action is subject to the will of the adults
around them, along with being manipulated into adopting those adults' thoughts and
opinions. Children are forced into the institution of parenting through governments which
set up property rights over them. Parents' rights is a euphemism for slaveholders' rights.
Perhaps I'll elaborate on this in a future video, but the extremely concise story is this:
the disease of culture begins with the selective application of emotion to manipulate
children into behaving in culturally-sanctioned ways. If the child's behavior fulfills your
values, you apply an affirming emotion, if the child's behavior deviates from the
fulfilment of your values, you apply an antagonistic emotion."
"This feral method is present in every interaction that children will have in the rest of its
life, but there is a more complex mechanism available. Once the child is old enough, it
becomes infected with language. It is primarily through this mechanism that cultural
values are transmitted. This is euphemistically referred to as 'teaching', as they grow
older children are progressively given more and more freedom, to the extent that they'll
contribute more and more to the propagation of the dominant cultural values."
"Some parents might say: 'but I can allow children to flourish free from coercement, so
that they can become themselves', or something like that. Sure, you might not teach
your child religion, but what are you going to do when you realize that your child isn't
going to speak your language? Or that it doesn't want to wear clothes? Or violates the
cultural system of property rights? And just, in general, isn't abiding by the structure of
your society? It's impossible to be an egalitarian parent because you will inevitably
coerce your child into behaving in ways which are within the culturally defined
parameters. That is the entire purpose of children under any culture. You're not doing
your children a favor by bringing them into existence, children exist solely for the
propagation of the values of the adults who own them. Your culture has taught you
language, art, religion, rights, morality, your activities, cultural context for interactions,
the economic structure in which you live, innumerable compartmentalized metaphysical
categories of everything imaginable. And do you think that you're somehow a neutral
observer when you dismiss a cult for applying manipulative tactics?"
"Cults behave in that way because they are trying to subvert the dominant culture and
propagate their own cultural values. Dominant cultures do not have to resort to cultish
tactics because since they have the luxury of being viewed with legitimacy, they have a
monopoly on the most efficient mechanism of cultural infection, the raising of children.
Yes, the belief systems of all cults are completely delusional, but it has nothing to do
with their manipulative tactics. All cultural values are delusions which exist entirely as a
consequence of coercive impositions."
Title: "SomethingSea Response Part 1-2"
Date: October 19, 2011
Adam Lanza: "Hello, SomethingSea. Thank you for the response to my 'My
Antinatalism' video. Um, I rearranged some of the things you said so that I could make
my response clearer, so whoever else is watching this, you should first watch my 'My
Antinatalism' video, so that you can actually hear what I'm saying. And I agree that, um,
I speak too quietly and I mumble too much, and my computer's loud, I'll try to resolve all
of that...and once you watch that video, you should watch his response and then...
watch this response. Because just watching this video by itself isn't going to be an
accurate representation of his video."
SomethingSea: "That's not anti-natalism, that's, uhh, anatalism, suppose that
anatalism means 'positive of life'? The fuck is anatalism I'm going to look that up.
Natalism is a belief that promotes human reproduction. Okay, so you would be an
anatalist, not an anti-natalist in that case."
Adam Lanza: "I agree that anti-natalism is an inaccurate term to be using... to describe
my position. The reason why I use that is because it's the kind of terminology that other
people on YouTube are using for similar positions, and um.. despite that, I actually do
agree with anti-natalism, I would like it if life stopped propagating. But I think my position
can be more accurately stated as anti-valueism, or something like that."
SomethingSea: "What, why the emphasis on, on the existential aspect it almost sounds
like you're being too defensive?"
Adam Lanza: "I was being too defensive at that part, um, when I'm trying to figure
something out I open WordPad and then I type in a thought, and then press enter a few
times, type in another thought, and another thought and it all gradually ends up
becoming sort of a personal essay. And most of that video came from one of those
essays I wrote a while ago, but... that existentialism paragraph, I took verbatim from
what I wrote, so. When I'm writing these things, I'm usually in an emotional state and I
wrote that after looking online for 'reasons why you shouldn't kill yourself', and I wasn't
trying to find a compelling argument, I was just bored and I found so many people
responding to suicidal forum posters, saying: 'I know exactly where you've been, I too
have felt that my life was, was without meaning', and...heh, it was ironic because... I
have the opposite problem. So I was just getting kind of irritated with seeing that
relentlessly and not seeing a single person expressing what I was feeling."
SomethingSea: "You've always had immense hatred for culture. Why?"
Adam Lanza: "I wish I could express why I hate culture in one sentence, but...that's,
um, that's not going to happen, I'm going to have to ramble about this topic so forgive
me for that. But I basically perceive culture the way that a normal person would perceive
rape, and all of these abstractions are ... the incureable STD's in my mind. I've... I've
always reacted with terror to culture. I've always had a problem with authority figures
and I would call authority, um, a source which tries to impose values onto you. And so,
whenever I would interact with someone in an authoritative position, I would always be
eager to punish myself and hit myself and say how much I deserved to be tortured and
that kind of thing. And I think the reason why I used to do that, even though I didn't
understand it at the time, I think it was because I wanted to try to mitigate um... their,
quote 'discipline' of me, even if it was a situation which they wouldn't even be doing that,
it's just interacting with an authority figure would upset me greatly."
"So, I did that so that they would say 'wow this kid is fucked up, I'd better not mess him
up anymore'. And... I've, it, uh... subordination disgusts me. One of the most grating
things I can hear is 'my parents raised me to believe that' or 'my parents always told me
that', I... It's... I had to cut back to this because I'm trying to think of how I can express
this. I, you hear things like 'I don't need to spank my children because there other
methods of discipline available', and I used to think that it could be possible to have
children and not discipline them, because I perceived values at potentially having some
degree of validity, and I would think 'why do you need to coerce a child into behaving in
certain ways when you can use reason?' But you can't use reason because culture,
there, there is no reason involved, cultural values are not reasonable. Culture, the only
way that culture can spread is through coercion, and so that's why parents, even
egalitarian ones, focus on the word 'discipline' because there's no other way to go about
spreading these lies because children will instantly reject them. A child can see that all
of this is nonsense, and that's why they go through this terrible-two's stage, when
they're toddlers they're incessantly miserable and it's... children don't, offspring don't
naturally rebel against their parents like that."
"You don't see chimpanzee toddlers freaking out about their...they have scuffles, but
they don't have this rebellion against their parents. And the reason why this rebellion
exists in humans is because this cultural infection is being involved, they're trying to
rebel against this indoctrination process but of course, they always end up succumbing
to it in the end and no longer see how delusional it is, and even still I.... I don't entirely
see how delusional I am, because I still have this notion that even though I nominally
recognize that it's false, I still have- operate under this belief that it's possible for value,
different values to be more valid than other values."
"And, thinking about this response video caused me to remember that a while ago I saw
a documentary about bonobo chimps being taught language. Basically they're being
indoctrinated into accepting culture and I've seen some... immensely gory
shockumentaries, but they were Barney compared to the horror that was in this
documentary, and in all of the videos you can find on YouTube about apes being taught
things. Um... I'll link to the specific video I'm talking about, but the entire thing was...
horrible. But I remember two particular scenes, there was one where this bonobo chimp
was excited and it hopped onto a dog, and one of the prison guards um... was, um...
bullying it, saying 'bad, bad, bad, bad' continuously, it was like a nightmare and the...
you could just tell the chimp wasn't recognizing that what it did was wrong, it was being
instilled with this belief that it was bad, and it's... one of... there was this other scene
where, it might've been the same chimp but I'm not sure. This bonobo chimp was trying
to be, the prison guards were trying to teach this chimp language and the chimp, they
spend their entire lives in this prison complex and these aliens are trying to coerce
these stupid things onto them and they have no idea what's going on. All that they know
is that they're being forced into doing things."
"And this chimp, um, snapped and, because of all of this, the circumstances of its life,
and it started attacking one of the prison guards... it kicked her, I think, and she
proceeded to chase it around shouting at it, bullying it, trying to intimidate it, and the...
the poor chimp was terrified and... if you want to understand why I hate culture, just
watch these videos, those two scenes were among the most horrible things I've seen in
my life because it embodies what I went through and embodies what every single other
human goes through that's exposed to culture, and it's the saddest thing imaginable.
Just... watch these YouTube videos about apes being indoctrinated and you can just
see the sorrow and that sorrow is culture, there's nothing more to it, it's horrible..."
The following links are the two YouTube videos which Adam Lanza was describing in
the prior text, included by him in the video description:
Timestamp 12:43, ”Kanzi - An Ape of Genius - Part 2 of 4”
Timestamp 3:31, ”Kanzi - An Ape of Genius - Part 4 of 4”
SomethingSea: "'I wish I could be indifferent but I am still affected by the solution that
life is something worth retaliating against', well, that is because you overestimate... the
extent to which there is culture. You think that your own values are culture induced, in
fact they aren't, those would be from you. But how do you distinguish that? As you tried
to do, you tried to do sorta like a Descartes thing where you sort of run into the
basement 'what are my values and how do these relate to society' and tried to figure it
out that way. Uh, no, not a cultural infection, that results in your genetics, really. Well,
why did you accept them? Same reason that people of the Bible say 'Oh yeah I like that,
I don't like that', well why are they like that? Maybe it's because they resonate with it, so
how is that from culture when it's from you resonating with something else? That's from
YOU, what is the loud[?] self without others? Everything self, everything who, is a
relation of you, to someone else. Can you find any spot, anything, anywhere, where it's
not you in relation to someone else? You might say 'oh I write characters in a book', well
that's you playing and experimenting with yourself in relation to others, with yourself.
Something to [???] on a mental level."
Adam Lanza:"I don't think that's necessarily true. There's a huge part of what people
call 'the self' but... there are two selves that I can identify. There's the cultural self and
there's the feral self. And.. I think there is a real distinction between the two, I would...
the feral self, I would call that which...genetically exists independent from whatever
memes the creature might be exposed to. So the pleasure that you get from drinking
water or climbing trees, the pleasure that a feral child would get is feral, it has nothing to
do with culture. That... um, the cultural self is that which results from enculturation,
values that are created which do not exist independent from that cultural exposure.
People do have, independently have some degree of personalities and you can see that
in animals, and you can take me for instance... I-I've always been a compulsive
organizer, and I don't think that's cultural because I exhibited that behavior at an
extremely young age. So, when I'm in the process of making this video, I watched your
video once, thought about it, watched it a second time, thought about it, and I was
watching it the third time while I was typing out the points that I wanted to respond to.
And then when I finished, I rearranged those points and took the most relevant ones
and then, now I'm responding to those and I'll insert your um... points, and I'm going
about this in the... heh, compulsively organized way because I feel compulsion that I
can't respond unless I do it in this way."
"And I think that compulsion has nothing to do with culture, but the reason I'm making
this YouTube video at all is entirely cultural. If...If I were a feral child, I... I would not
need to fulfill this desire to make this YouTube video, but because I've been exposed to
this concept of YouTube videos, I thus need to fulfill it. And I go about fulfilling it in my
own way, but the reason why I'm fulfilling it at all is entirely cultural. So my genetics
affect the way I deal with these values but the values exist entirely because of culture.
And a feral child doesn't... have a desire to write or read intricately designed novels, it,
that desire does not exist at all but being exposed to culture would um instill that desire
into them and they would subsequently need to fulfill it. And the same applies to
everything cultural and that's my point about the distinction between cultural values and
feral values. A feral child would be happy drinking water and climbing trees." [video
ends]
Title: "SomethingSea Response Part 2-2"
Date: October 19, 2011
Adam Lanza: "Interaction is not necessarily cultural, the way that I view an ant colony, I
don't think that ants are remotely cultural even though they form these organized
societies. And, um, they're not taught... they're not exposed to memes which results in
their behavior, they're behaving in the ways they do because as far as I know they're...
responding to certain types of scents at certain frequencies, and it's like...um, needing
to drink water. They say 'I'm thirsty and I'm going to take this action to fulfill that thirst'
and I don't need to be taught that I'm thirsty, I just know it. And that's the way that ants
operate, and that's how their societies emerge. They're not.. they aren't instilled with this
culture, and... that feral child who's drinking water and climbing trees, he, if he weren't
exposed to anyone else, he would have a desire for social interaction."
"That desire itself is not cultural and... if he were to... like apes in a jungle, the apes,
they have these very very very undeveloped cultures. But most of their interaction is
based off of feral values, so I've... there's this small cultural aspect to their interaction
but it's mostly feral. Um, they're fulfilling their feral values, they don't need to be taught
that they want to interact, they just do. The way someone just drinks. And culture can
satisfy feral values, that's where it gets a little confusing, because making this video... it
can be perceived as, me making this video can be perceived as trying to fulfill a desire
for social interaction. But...um... the culture doesn't allow it to happen, it subverts the
process by which I would naturally fulfill that value. This... because I've been exposed to
this culture I fulfill that value by making this video, and this video's just... a surrogate, it's
not the social interaction itself. If we were in a jungle somewhere, I wouldn't be making
this video to you, and I wouldn't have the desire to make this video to you. I would
stroke your hair and longfully gaze into your eyes, or whatever it is that feral humans
do."
"So, my point is that... culture is the proverbial thug who breaks your limbs and gives
you a crutch. Culture doesn't fulfill values, it creates the need to fulfill values and it
subverts the natural processes by which you would fulfill those values. That's why I
used the disease metaphor, culture... I know it's needlessly inflammatory, but I think it is
kind of an accurate description, even if you aren't paying attention to those cute little
comparisons like how language is like the wheezing of someone with tuberculosis and
all of those little things. Language, I mean, culture doesn't solve anything, it-it latches
onto someone and it creates the need to solve certain things. So instead of calling
culture a disease... I think it would be, it could be called... the...uh, man, I'm gonna have
to cut this out and... (sigh)... whatever."
SomethingSea:
"So everything is delusion? What is delusion? Delusion is that which
does not correlate with reality, right? Right? Delusion is that which does not correlate
with reality, it's delusional to say that... this is a water bottle, if I'm holding up a mouse
and I mean water bottle, this is not a water bottle, it's delusional if I think this is and I try
to drink from it, that is delusional. It is not connected up with how things actually are.
Now if you're talking about things that actually are the case, then that is not delusional."
Adam Lanza: "I wouldn't say that everything is a delusion, I... I don't know really that
much about the epistemology but... um, I would say that value exists in the sense that
religious dogma exists. It, this belief in religion exists but all its assertions about reality
are nothing other than delusions. And in the same way, value exists but it's a distortion
of reality. Perception is a coercive delusion, it exists but as a delusion, (laughter) I know
I'm just repeating myself but I think I'm getting the point across."
SomethingSea:
"(Lanza's antinatalism video plays) Enjoy it, so it is, it is there, and?"
Adam Lanza: "I think I've addressed this, um, in my, earlier in this video but just incase
I haven't, my point is that meaning doesn't cure suffering, meaning is the source of
suffering."
SomethingSea:
"Happiness is merely the fulfilment of value... I disagree. Sometimes
you wake up and you're just happy for no apparent reason, sometimes you just laugh
(laughter) for no apparent reason. It doesn't have to be dependent on a lack of
something and the gaining of something, it's not all about a lack of stuff, it's not all about
being cultural, you attach entirely too much value to culture. Oh isn't that an irony?"
Adam Lanza: "I agree that happiness isn't like prayer, where first you pray and then
your prayers are answered. Since happiness is just biological, it's possible to just be
happy, but in general the entire point of happiness is to serve as a reward for fulfilling
value. First you have this desire, and then when you fulfill the desire, you achieve
happiness. So, um... well a lot of the time when you're randomly happy it's because you
don't perceive a certain deprivation to be important enough to affect your random
happiness. I remember reading that one of the 9/11 hijackers was asked: 'Why do you
never laugh?' And he responded: 'How can you laugh when people in Palestine are
dying?' And I think that someone like him wouldn't, because he has this problem, I don't
think that someone like him would ever, or at least not very often, experience random
happiness. I think he would be suffering a lot."
SomethingSea:
"Or, but you prefer to not be alive and you prefer to... see, there's a bit
of a contradiction there, you prefer to not prefer? So you prefer to not prefer so you're
trying to not prefer not preferring, or prefer not preferring. So your preference of not
preferring is getting in the way of preferring not living because that would be better than
living even though living, that's a value statement about not having value statement
because... and then you overstate that, such that you hate your own values. That itself
is a value statement, because hatred is a value thing and so you hating your own
hatred, and so you hate yourself."
Adam Lanza: "Uh, that's... the problem with all of this. A lot of people like Buddhists
and Stoics, however they define enlightenment, they believe that enlightenment can be
achieved in life. That you can overcome what they call 'suffering', but, my value leads
me to hate value because (laughter) what you said. It's incoherent and I think the
problem about that is that I can't free myself from value and still be alive. So the
enlightenment, which I use very, very, very loosely, my enlightenment lies in death
where I do not have any value."
SomethingSea:
"(quoting from Adam's earlier video) 'Culture is values which others
mindlessly coerce onto each other', that's true in a spiritual sense in that we cannot
continue living in this 3D realm without the assumption of these value things, i.e morality
this, morality that, it's basically... in order to be alive in the 3D realm, you have to have
some sort of moral value in going about you. Well not necessarily have to, but it's likely
for it to be occurring, it is the cultural programming. (referring to culture being a disease)
Um, similar, I'd say not no differently but quite similar. Why do you want to eliminate
your cultural values? If you eliminate your cultural values, all your values, you cease to
exist. Why? Because you cease to see any reason to living, therefore you die, by one
reason or another. Or you continue living and hate yourself the entire time. That doesn't
sound like fun, might as well just put a gun to your head and go boom."
Adam Lanza: "That's, heh, that's basically the idea... um, I don't want to live, I want to
die."
SomethingSea:
"What do you mean by you lack the discipline to commit suicide? That
doesn't make any sense to me, lack the discipline... so like when you think about
committing suicide, what goes through your mind? Is it uh..."
Adam Lanza: "I'm definitely not happy to be alive. I..um, I would like to die, but the
reason why... when I think about, when I get the thought into my head 'you're going to
kill yourself in one minute', I... um, I... I'm compelled to live in the same sense that
someone who is addicted to cocaine is compelled to continue their indulgence. They
definitely don't, well, heh, sometimes... they definitely don't want to be addicted to
cocaine, but they can't control it because they don't have enough self-discipline. And
that's the problem that I have, a cocaine addict will say 'this is the last time, I'm definitely
not going to do it again, once I take it this last time' but if it were truly the last time then
they wouldn't need to indulge with... they wouldn't need to have that last indulgence. So
they're not really overcoming their addiction, they're just continuing to feed it just as
much as they were previously and I'm in the same position. I think 'oh, this period of
time will be good and then I'll die', and... it ends up not being the last period because if it
really were the last period, I would just kill myself instantly, instead of having to continue
to live through that."
"There's - I can think of two ways that you can choose to overcome an addiction. The
first is that you can have the self-discipline to recognize that you need to overcome your
addiction, and you know that you'll have an intense desire to persist in your addiction
but if you um... continue to persist in overcoming it, that desire will eventually disappear.
And I..I don't have that discipline. There's one other way you can choose to overcome
an addiction and that is to allow your addiction to get you into some circumstances such
that continuing the addiction would have more, would have much more intolerable
consequences than ending the addiction would have. Such as a cocaine addict ending
up living in a dumpster, blowing strangers for cocaine money, that kind of a thing. And
they would feel forced into giving up their addiction, and I think that's the position that I
need to be in to overcome this, because my life right now is... I hate using this word
because it's misleading, but my life right now is way too comfortable to... for me to feel
forced into killing myself. But... that's probably going to be the way I die, I'm going to... I,
well, either that or I'll develop the discipline to just say 'none of this is helping me I just
need to die and I know that I won't want to go through with it at the last second but I just
need to do it' and I guess that's the end of the response video, heh, I'm sorry to end on
such a macabre note. I know that I can kind of 'rain on the parade', but... well, hehe, you
wanted a response video so here it is. Thanks for listening."
Title: "(Pointless) CulturalPhillistine The Movie Part 1/6"
Date: October 19, 2011
Adam Lanza: "I haven't done this before... whenever I make a video I've always
thought about basically what I wanted to cover, prior to starting the video. And I was just
here laying on the floor and I thought why not make a video just off-the-cuff about
anything I want to? And I know this is stupid, but... I was just thinking about, that I
haven't hugged anyone in four years. And I never, it was my grandmother and I didn't
want to hug her. I've never voluntarily hugged anyone and I wish I could, wish I could
cuddle with someone I love and... but I recognize that that's no different than anything
else I've talked about, pertaining to desire. I don't know why I don't just... do it. Why am I
expecting to accomplish anything before I do it?"
"People seem to think that you can accomplish something in life, but you just... you just
impose deprivation on yourself, then you seek to resolve that. My room is pretty close to
empty and... I mean, that's, I don't... seek to have possessions but I don't seek... people
think that materialism is different than accomplishing something, but it isn't. They're both
the same thing, I don't want to own anything, I don't want to accomplish anything, I want
to die... (laughter)"
"I sound like [???] right now, my inflection right now. What else can I talk about, that's all
that there is to it. It's so stupid, I think, hey why don't I record myself killing myself?
People enjoy that. But I'm... doing that would not be recognizing what I'm doing. Still
seeking to accomplish something is not saying 'this needs to end', it's saying 'I need to
accomplish something this needs to continue', I don't really have anything else to say I
guess. Whenever someone does have something to say it's because they've hurt
theirself, or themself, whatever you grammar Nazis want to tell me. Really, think about
it, any time that anyone says anything it's because of a deprivation that has been
coerced onto them. X needs to be accomplished, X must be communicated, when you
have nothing say, the more silent you are... the closer to death you are. And I always
have been silent."
"I was just staring at the floor and you know that optical illusion where you don't move
your eyes and it becomes difficult to see anything? Your peripheral vision gets a green
tint and you, your eyes need movement to be able to see anything. And I was just
thinkin 'where have I done that in the past?' and it just randomly brought up some
thought. I remember I was in this hospital once, I don't know if it was a hospital,
whatever you call them, or a general practitioner office. And I'm thinking 'oh, yeah, tile
floor, green outline' it's not very often that I experience that optical illusion. And I guess
that was one of those times in which I did, which has really nothing to do with it it just
got me thinking about doctors."
"I really fucking hate doctors. The most arrogant people I've met in my life, what else
can I say about it? Yes, I do, I hate doctors, that's all so I guess that's the end of the
video, heh. I know where else I've seen that, school tile floors. School is such a great
place, you get to learn stuff, become a better person to make a better tomorrow. I... I
actually have a lot of dreams about school. It's strange but I still have dreams about
middle school and, well, not my middle school but... I don't know, I always, you know,
that sense that you have in a dream when you actually know something, the
environment I'm in, I just know it's middle school or high school or something like that
but usually middle school."
"And I think, well, what is school? School is culture, basically, it's cultural indoctrination.
And what is culture? The imposition of deprivation. And that has me thinking about
dreams. Aren't dreams strange? I wonder how they pertain to culture, I've never really
thought about that. Dreams are the only place where I've felt pleasure, so what does
that mean? It means that dreams are fulfilling some deprivation that I have. Oh, that
must be why people say, culturalists say 'you need to work toward your dreams!'
because they fulfill that deprivation. Make your dreams a reality. Well I don't want my
dreams to be a reality, I want my dreams to be sprayed allover the wall."
"Why would I want that? Why would I not just be happy with pleasure? Pleasure is good
isn't it? Pleasure isn't good, I have those dreams because this culture has imposed
those dreams on me, if I were feral I would be dreaming about... whatever dogs dream
about. I fucking hate dogs. Like dogs are like the most disgusting, detestable people
you can meet, but there I go thinking that values are more legitimate than other values. I
don't know why I love rodents so much, they're just buck-wild mavericks. Well I guess
that's all that there is to dreams..."
"I was just thinking about how I'm turning these videos up by 18 decibels because I
speak so quietly and consequently it seems like I'm wheezing half the time, but I'm not.
It got me thinking about that loudness aspect I just thought about several minutes ago.
Isn't it funny how it's always the quiet ones who kill theirselves? [sic] Themselves. Don't,
just leave me alone (laughter) just leave me alone, I wonder what that means? It means
stop imposing values onto me, I don't want to be deprived of anything, I want to die. Yet
you people keep forcing me to live."
"And why is it always the quiet ones who kill themselves? In the past I would've thought
that it was because they were not being included in something, and I think that's the
way that most people think of it. But if you think about this 'loudness paradigm' then I
would interpret it to mean that quiet people have less deprivation. At least in some
cases, at least I think that's the case for me, I feel less deprived and thus I desire life
less. Loudness. Loud people are always the most detestable to me. In my response to
SomethingSea I forgot to mention about suffering being life-affirming. Isn't it funny how
the rich are the ones who kill themselves and poor people have more children? Think
I've identified the cause... Suffering is life, or rather, life is suffering. Isn't it funny how it
just kind of works out that way? (laughter) Isn't it funny how if a psychiatrist were
listening to me talking to myself right now I would be committed for the rest of my life?"
"People say that suicide isn't illegal, yes it is, it's defacto illegal. Isn't that funny how
people say 'we want people to express themselves to us because we want to help them'
but you don't want to help them. You just want to coerce them into having the same
values that you do. But imagine if that were the case, that suicide weren't a taboo and
that you could actually say 'I want to die'. what would that lead to? Some people might
think 'well that would lead to us being able to resolve suicide and we could help people
overcome it if they were willing to talk to us about it' but I suspect that if... I mean it's a
taboo for a reason, it's because it isn't life-affirming. People talking about suicide
probably leads to more suicide. I wonder if that's the case, and if it isn't I bet it's because
there's something else going on in culture. Isn't it so disgusting?"
"I want to talk about girls for a moment, I know this is a really stupid topic, I was just
thinking about it, why would someone say 'opposites attract'? Opposites disgust me. I'm
attracted to girls who want to kill themselves or who are exactly like me. The girl of my
dreams is already dead, haha. Why would I want to meet a girl of my dreams anyway?
It's just a stupid combination of feral and cultural values. All interaction is innately
coercion and... well yeah it is, I guess that's just synonymous with interaction, coercion.
Isn't it stupid how people say there's such a distinction as romantic love and familial love
and platonic love and all of these stupid things. There's no such thing as those cultural
abstractions, I remember writing, actually I should read that, why not? It expresses it
better than I could at this moment."
(computer clicking, mouse scuffing)
"Where is it? I have so many files, it's like I'm a hoarder of computer files.... Here it is. It
is harmful to yourself and to other people to use any labels for associations such as
friend, romantic partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, whatever, family members, [???]
countrymen, fellow human and all the rest. If your association with person 1 is under
label A, even if you do not want to associate with them... I can't speak properly, can't
speak at all. I'm just [???]"
"Your culture tells you that you must engage in particular activities with them because
it's right. If your association with person 2 is under label B, even if you both want to, you
cannot engage in particular activities because your culture tells you that it is wrong. If
you enjoy activity X with person 3, then your culture tells you that this association is
under label C. If you mutually want to engage in activity Y with person 2, then your
culture tells you that this association is subsequently under label D. If you want to
engage in activity Z with person 2, and they do not, your culture tells you that since this
person rejects label E the terms of label T dictate that activity X and activity Y must be
negatively impacted even though they are entirely independent from Z. If you enjoy
activity X with person 4, but person 4 isn't engaging in activity Z, which is something that
person 5 disapproves of and is entitled to control your behavior because the two of you
are under label F, then you must end your activity X with person 4."
"There are innumerable other issues that are just you and another person applying
different meanings to the same labels, since the labels are nothing other than cultural
nonsense. Related issues, the labeling of love, such as platonic, familial, romantic,
asexual, aromantic and all of this other nonsense. All that exists is positive affinity, they
may biologically manifest differently, but that has no relevance to the meaning of this
application of these labels to your associations and the resulting structural changes. I
can describe the problems of labels under all sorts of permutations. What is important is
that all of these pointless scuffles which invariably lead, I mean, invariably occur
between friends, lovers, families, and whatever. It wouldn't[?] if people weren't deluding
themselves into thinking in terms of these cultural labels."
Title: "(Pointless) CulturalPhillistine The Movie Part 2/6"
Date: October 19, 2011
Adam Lanza: "Did you follow that? Because I wrote it and I couldn't follow it. (laughter)
That's how incoherent culture is. Cultural context for interactions tells you that you need
to do certain things and you can't do certain things and all of this other nonsense. I think
I've talked about that enough."
"But reading that reminded me, I used to, for a time I thought I was asexual. Well, I
weighed under one-hundred pounds, that's the primary reason but there's also this
other cultural reason in that I rejected... the cultural notion of what is considered beauty,
thus my repulsion to that appeared as if it... that I had been asexual. When really it's just
that culture has a really stupid idea of what's beautiful and what isn't. I can't... how could
someone be attracted to breasts? I'm, I... (laughter) almost sound gay saying this but
I'm not, I'm just attracted to young teenaged girls who have the bodies of 12 year old
anorexic boys. Um... and tans? I mean, paleness is just so much more attractive than
being tan."
"I recognize all of this beauty that I interpret is just because I'm a narcissist and I like to
think about the ideal way I would like to look, of course I would find that appealing in
someone else, so it gets back to this whole 'opposites attracts' thing. And females, they
kind of piss me off. Well, I mean, not in general but... the cultural role that they play. Oh,
he's such a good father. I would've been a good father. I'm not saying that in a 'I'm
gonna pull a George Sodini because no girls accepted me', I'm not saying that. I'm
saying that in the past I... had the values of what would culturally be considered a good
father. And... so disgusting, when you hear females saying something like that. When...
females seem to... they tend to be pro-family, that's what pisses me off about them,
because family is coercion."
"And I imagine, what would I think if I found the girl of my dreams? And she wanted to
have children with me? Well she wouldn't want (laughter) to have children with me, uh,
but I mean... overlooking that. Where was I even going with this? I wasn't going
anywhere, I'm never going anywhere, never progressing, I'm never regressing and
no-one else is."
"(laughter) Now I know why SomethingSea always uploads so many videos, it's kind of
amusing to... just have this journal of sorts. Oh no, that's serving as art isn't it? I'm
expressing myself, and it is. That is what art is, is the transference of value and that's
what I'm trying to do, I'm trying to manipulate all of you. I don't mean to but that's what
I'm doing. This microphone flashes when it's recording, this blue light. How did anything
get to this point? I don't understand... oh wait, yeah, that's because of my privileged
position. What I was going to say is I don't understand how anyone could possibly find
the desire to manufacture computers. I mean, how did humanity get to this point without
killing themself? Themselves. That I remember."
"Of course it's only me who wants to do that, it's not.. there isn't some transcendant
truth that you should kill yourself, it's just that I'm capable of recognizing what culture is
and my own subjective values, based on my experiences they've made me come to this
conclusion. I think that everyone else would come to that conclusion too. I mean it,
drinking... water isn't objectively valuable, but it's a consensus that... everyone does
accept it as having value. Even though it's not objective, and in the same way suicide is
water. Well, water is deprivation, so suicide is actually anti-water. That's getting into all
this cosmic stuff I can start formulating theories about why there's antimatter, it must
have something to do with death."
"Isn't that so irritating how... people try to say that 'quantum theory dictates that' they
have no idea what they're talking about, they don't even have the simplest
understanding of Newtonian physics and they're trying to say that they understand
quantum physics. And I don't, and I never will, and I don't understand why someone
would want to have that desire but I can recognize that it's really stupid to just... uh,
contrive these justifications for your positions. It's no different than religion, it's no
different than value itself. Value is religion."
"I wonder what I would've thought of myself if... let's say as a 12 year old, I saw where I
am right now? I wasn't really... introspective enough to come to a conclusion, I guess.
Isn't that another quality? Introspection, I find introspection to be extremely sexy but
that's because I'm a narcissist and I am introspective."
"Isn't it strange how those atheists say 'of course I want to' (laughter) 'of course I won't
[???] when I die, because I will not have existed but I can enjoy life while I'm here"
(laughter) That's the worst British accent I've heard in my entire life, I'm going to have to
listen to this and laugh at myself. Atheists[?] always say that they can recognize that...
in death, you do not exist, but they don't see what that means pertaining to life. They still
think 'but we can still fulfill values in life', don't you see that death is happiness? That life
is deprivation? That you can't live life, you have to die?"
"You know what maybe I will... No, I won't. I say 'maybe I will kill myself tonight' but no,
I'm not going to do it. I already know I'm not going to do it. Maybe I'll just ramble for a
few more hours... I can't release something like this. If I were to release something like
this... I'd be involuntarily committed, imprisoned for the rest of my life. Life is a prison,
but just saying that, that's even risking being involuntarily committed."
"It's what bothers me, people defer to these authority figures, of psychiatrists and
doctors, thinking that they know what they're doing. But they don't have this well of
wisdom, they're fulfilling their own psychological deprivation. That's why they're doing
what they're doing, it's not because they have wisdom. Isn't it funny how I would be
called insane, but everyone else seems to think they're perfectly fine? Don't you
understand that you're all heavily damaged and that I'm heavily damaged and that's
what life is? I'm just going to keep repeating myself, I sound like Gary[?] don't I?"
"Wouldn't it be funny if I tried to apply to a university and... and wrote, oh man, this is
funny, originally I was writing that pedophilia essay as um... the general essay for a
college application. Why was I doing that? Basically just saying 'fuck all of you I know
the truth and you don't' and now like, I know they're gonna reject me for it but I enjoy
that rejection because I'm a masochist too because that's what culture does to me. It's
really ironic, people see pedophiles as hurting ch...uh, they call me a pedophile because
I admitted that I find um, young teenaged girls attractive. Who have the bodies of
anorexic pale 12-year-old boys, but they're post-pubescent so by definition I can't be a
pedophile. And you think about why people hate pedophiles so much. It's because
they're... I already explained it in my first rambling video so, I don't really think I have
anything else to say about that... topic. I still haven't elaborated on what I mean by
'pedophilia is not innately harmful', culture is by definition harmful. I used to have such
an interest in reading... anything which goes against the position that sex is horrible for
children. But I've lost that interest because I recognize that my interest only existed
because... it was a retaliation against culture."
"Because pedophobia is culture, and now I can see that that retaliation was cultural too.
And even if it had not been, feral values are just as messed up as culture is. Okay, I
think I'm finished for now. Sorry about the rambling but... well of course I would find it
enjoyable because I'd be listening to someone who is exactly like me. I just wish I
could...find that, someone exactly like me. Uh... I don't know how to express this clearly,
but what I'm saying right now is basically I'm dismissing my desire because it's a desire,
it's life, it's suffering, it's everything, other than death."
"Come, take my hand, go onto the surfboard with me, we're going to surf the web
together. No, don't worry I'm not going to molest you while we're alone just because I
sound like a pedophile. I was going to look up mental illnesses and I found this
psychcentral website, so let's go down... scroll down these tests together. Adult ADD
screening test, what do I think about ADD? Well, it's... a way that psychiatrists can
dismiss someone for not having... they interpret it as being unable to... okay, basically
you're not accepting the psychiatrist's values, ADHD, even more so. Anxiety screening
test, what is anxiety? It's culturally induced. Autism, Aspergers, I hate the Aspergers'
label because people would apply it to me, and I'm not autistic. (laughter) Well...
Aspergers doesn't, it's... it's just a nonsensical category, anyway, moving on."
"Bipolar, bipolar, unipolar, quick depression test. Depressed? I've never been depressed
a day of my life, I love life. I mean...mania taste (laughter) Freudian slip, mania test.
Manic episode, hmm, let's try this mania test. Instructions: you can use this quiz on a
weekly basis to track your moods, okay. My mind has never been sharper, uhh, my mind
is so dull I'm not sure what each of these answers mean. (laughter) Do they mean that
this, my mind has never been sharper, it doesn't apply at all or my mind is... yes you do,
or yes you don't, that's the question."
"I think that it means my mind has never been sharper, yes, it... oh man, it's just so
poorly phrased. And of course someone would say that I have ADD because I can't
interpret this test properly. That's the thing about tests, they... operate under the
assumption that the test-creator has the truth. And I'll be talking about that later once I
scroll down to these other tests, anyway, my mind has never been sharper... guess I'm
just procrastinating aren't I?"
Title: "(Pointless) CulturalPhillistine The Movie Part 3/6"
Date: October 19, 2011
Adam Lanza: "Not at all....needing less sleep than usual? Uh, I must have ADD
because I don't want to go through this. Mood checker, check my emotions over
time...eating disorder screening test, eating attitudes test, OCD screening test. These
people who create these tests must have OCD because they're trying to categorize
everything. PTSD screening quiz... if that's not cultural then I don't know what is. Oh, for
child injury?"
"What does this mean? Because it's obvious that PTSD is innate in everyone as a
consequence of their childhood. Oh, uhh... they aren't using it in the correct way. 'The
items below refer to a recent injury experienced by your child'... having your child was a
great injury. Anyway, schizophrenia screening test... hahaha, no comment. Do I need
therapy quiz? Oh, let's take the 'do I need therapy quiz'..."
"Twelve items below refer to how you have felt and, and one word, and I'm trusting
these people to diagnose me? Felt and behaved during the past month, in capital
letters, bolded... for you to try and indicate the extent to which it is true by checking the
appropriate box next to the item."
"One: I am concerned about a behavior, feeling, or something I am doing. Uhhh... what
does it mean to be concerned if you're not concerned? That pretty much just means...
that you're (sigh), means that you're not insightful. That you don't think, how could
someone not be concerned a behavior or feeling or something that I'm doing? You
perpetually would be unless you're... if you've been exposed to culture, you're going to
be. Very much."
"Two: This behavior or feeling has been getting worse in the past few weeks. I guess so
because I made my account recently."
"Three: I have tried stopping or reducing this behavior or feeling on my own. Hm... I
think it's a good idea to increase that behavior, so, very much."
"Four: My attempts at stopping or reducing this behavior or feeling have been
successful. Well I can't answer that, the question doesn't apply to me, so I'll say 'not at
all'."
"Five: I rely on my friends or family...I have friends? I have family? What? To help me
with my current troubles... not at all."
"Six: I'm finding it more difficult to cope with things than usual. What does it mean to
cope with things? I mean... you can interpret that at face value, but I mean under my
whole... deprivation dynamic. I'm finding it more difficult to cope with things than usual. If
you're having difficulty coping, does that mean you're having difficulty with the fulfillment
or is it that... you're... someone who's listening to this probably thinks I'm a retard for not
being able to... figure this out but I'm not thinking about it in the way you think I am,
that's why I'm confused right now and I can't really think about things off the cuff like
this."
"I'm finding it more difficult to cope with things than usual... It could go either way. I
mean, it could go in four different directions so I'll just close my eyes and... well that
wouldn't work so I'll just say not at all."
"I'm having trouble concentrating at work or school... well I'm not in work or school, I'm a
loser so I'll say not at all, heh."
"I like to think things through or talk about things that bother me... I'm talking right now
so I'll say very much."
"Nine: I've talked to my family doctor or healthcare professional about the behavior or
feeling that's troubling me (laughter). If I did that I would not be able to be in this
circumstance, right now, so I'll say no."
"Ten: I've talked to my friends or family about the behavior or feeling that's troubling me:
no."
"Eleven: I've read books or went to [???] to discover more about the behavior or feeling
that's troubling me. Uh, very much..."
"Twelve: The final one, I've been in therapy before and it's helped me. That's... oh, okay,
good they say, yes but it didn't help. So I answered that one...now score my therapy
questionnaire, I'm so excited."
"I scored a total of 31, I wonder if that's out of 50? I mean I guess that... it would be
pretty good. The information you have provided [???] you might benefit from... okay it's
[???] I knew it was (laughter). Ohh, no it isn't, it's if you scored 42 and up.
Recommend... 22 to 42, recommended. Okay, so, I'm psychotic."
"Workplace bullying quiz? What an interesting word bullying is. Quiz? I feel like a retard.
A quiz to help you determine if you may be the victim of workplace bullying. I don't think
that applies to me."
"Relationships and sexuality...ask the prostitutes I have locked in my basement.
Sustainable marriage quiz, now this is what I was talking about. They operate under this
assumption that marriage is somehow a good thing... ugh, I think you know my position
on marriage, haha. (creaking sound in background) Okay, I'll take the sustainable
marriage quiz."
"How much does being with your partner result in your happ-....eh I can't do this. How
deep is your love quiz? That's another thing that bothers me, there's no such thing as
love deepness...there's just positive affinity, and that positive affinity is coercion and
manipulation, exploitation. How strong is your relationship quiz? I don't have a
relationship."
"Do I have a love, lust or a loser relationship? You don't have either, because those are
cultural interpretations. Sexual addiction screening test... romance attachment quiz...
that could be interesting." (clicking sounds)
"Okay, this is stupid, this entire website is stupid. Feeling connected quiz? How
connected in your relationship with your partner are you right now? Domestic violence
screening... you mean that's not a part of a healthy relationship? Oh man..."
"Interpersonal communication skills test... how well do I communicate with others? I
don't think I'm communicating well with anyone right now. Ten second, ten questions,
five minutes... take the test without even reading the directions. People don't get what
I'm saying, is that completely true? I think so."
"I find it hard to express my feelings to others, completely true."
"I get so caught up in what I have to say that I'm not aware of the reactions of my
listeners...uh, I'd say completely false even though psychiatrists would say 'of course
you don't understand, you have Aspergers syndrome' (laughter)"
"Four: When I know what someone is going to say I finish the sentence for him or her,
that's, that's...um... well I mean, if you know what they're going to say, you mentally do
finish the sentence. And of course they're going to say... 'you're exhibiting Asperger
qualities by being excessively pedantic and I'm going to have to prescribe this certain
amount of this certain medication to cure your affliction so that you can become more
like me... but I do like that song...' Gender is such a stupid concept, I'll talk about that
later."
"Five: If I find it difficult to express my f-... I mean, heh, I find it difficult to express my
opininions when others don't share them. Well, when it results in you being involuntarily
committed, I would say, true."
"If I don't understand someone's explanation the first time around I feel stupid asking for
clarification, uh, well... I don't really have... interaction with anyone so I don't think I
could even ask someone, so I'll say no."
"Another problem with these tests is that they're assuming that you're coming from a
specific background, which I am not."
"Seven: I try to divert or end conversations that don't interest me. Uhm, well, yes by
definition I think... heh."
"Eight: I find it easy to see things from someone else's point of view. Yes. Nine when I
talk t-, and another problem with these tests is that it depends on the person's
interpretations of your questions."
"Nine: When I talk to someone I put myself in his or her shoes. Well... I don't want to
answer that one."
"Ten: I mean, I don't want to finish this test."
(clicking sounds)
"And answers, what did it say about me? 53? My communication skills are average?
Fuck you!"
"Personality, big 5 personality test... a big 5 based personality assessment that provides
you personalized and detailed feedback across 45 distinct traits. Oh I'm sure those traits
are distinct, you didn't make it up at all, they're real..."
"Is this like you? Take a little time for others and seldom interested in other... it's, oh, this
whole identity thing that people have. So disgusting. I can just imagine they're sitting at
a coffee table, 'I take a little time for others and I'm seldom interested in other people's
problems' well, they wouldn't be saying that but... heh, 'I'm generally indifferent to the
feelings of others', no that's the opposite of me because I have a liberal arts education."
"I complete tasks on time and according to plan, I usually prepare for things ahead of
time to avoid making mistakes, I actually like to plan ahead. Exactly like me, you can't
get ahead in life unless you plan."
"I enjoy learning things and find abstract ideas interesting, I also have a rich vocabulary
and show a mastery of language...indubitably, exactly like me."
"I'm hard to get to know, intent to keep others at a distance, I reveal little about myself to
others...well these cretins wouldn't understand me so I'll say exactly like me, next..."
"I have difficulty imagining things and struggle to come up with new ide-ideas...well, no,
that's the complete opposite of me. I'm a very creative soul."
"I respect authority, oh of course I do. Where would we be without authority? ...and try to
follow rules, I avoid taking advantage of people and respect the privacy of others, that's
exactly like me."
"I enjoy spending time by myself in contemplation and reflecting on things, I often prefer
to be alone...no, I'm a people person."
"I try not to think about the needy and tend to dislike soft-hearted people, I tend to look
down on any weakness... that's not like me at all, because I have liberal values."
"I experience very few emotional highs and lows and I'm not disturbed by events, I'm
relaxed most of the time... how can you be relaxed when there's exploitation going on in
the world? I must get the government to do something about this, well I'll say opposite of
me."
"I easily resist temptations and am able to control my cravings, I rarely overindulge... no
I only indulge in Shakespeare, hahaha. That's exactly like me... I mean (laughter), I
mean, I'm going, yes that's exactly like me."
"I believe in a logical answer for everything and do things in the logical order, but there
is no truth, so... there is no logic, so I'll say the opposite of me, no-one is right and
no-one's wrong, we should all love eachother and I'm not making a value statement by
saying we should all love eachother."
"I rarely look for a deeper meaning in things or feel the need to understand my
motives... okay, what would someone say about that? Someone at the coffee table,
what would they say? (repeating question) But there's a deeper meaning in everything
you see, so we should go on to the next question."
"I'm on good terms with, and have a good word for nearly everyone, and I'm easy to
satisfy... I have a good word for everyone except for those who seek to propagate
conservative values, so I'll say 'opposite of me'"
"I tend to put little time and effort into my work and I don't pay attention and seldom
notice details. That is... the complete opposite of me. After all, I greatly enjoy
Dostoevsky's literature."
"I'm not easily annoyed and rarely get irritated, I'm rarely in a bad mood. Of course I'm
not in a bad mood, it's impractical to be in a bad mood, bad mood is... not life-affirming,
and I am life-affirming, so I'll say... and the question was... so that's exactly like me."
"I tend to deal with others in a formal manner, I seldom joke around or act wild & crazy...
well I've been known to get a bit rambunctious at some parties so I'll say the opposite of
me."
"And now the problem with this person at the coffee table, they've, their mind has gotten
so distorted by their enculturation that they've suddenly become bipolar, not only bipolar
but they have two split personalities. Isn't that horrible? So now this person is going to
be a raging conservative."
"Next question, damnit...(laughter) I'm not fond of art and literature, of course I'm not
fond of art and literature, that's what those pansies enjoy. I don't enjoy watching dance
performances or concerts, exactly like me!"
"I try to outdo others and tend to put people under pressure. Well you have to do that
because you have to exhibit your dominance because... if you don't exhibit your
dominance, the terrorists win!"
"I know that I'm better than most others, exactly like me!"
Title: "(Pointless) CulturalPhillistine The Movie Part 4/6"
Date: October 19, 2011
Adam Lanza: "I tend to have intense emotional reactions to things and tend to barge in
on conversations and shoot my mouth off...well I do sure like to shoot because I'm a
conservative, y'know, exactly like me."
"I seek explanations for things and learn quickly, I excel in what I do... well, what would
they say? Well, everyone would say exactly like me so I'll just click that, go to the next
question."
"I purchase only practical things, never spending more than I can afford, I always take
precautions and never splurge...you're damn right because you need to...be a fiscal
conservative, you see? I mean, you've gotta be a survivalist you see, you can't waste
your money because survival is so important that you need to... you-you can't just
splurge on things. (laughter) Let's see. Unless you're splurging on your male secretary
in the bathroom... (laughter) But that's just like age-old splurge, so I'll say... opposite of
me. I mean, exactly like me."
"I have difficulty understanding abstract ideas and am not interested in speculating
about things... well you've gotta be practical you see, you've gotta live in the real world...
exactly like me."
"I respect and empathize with others' feelings and appreciate their viewpoints... of
course I don't, them terrorists are wrong."
"I have no problems with making friends, I warm up to others quite quickly, I act
comfortably around people and am able to talk openly about myself... well I... I do
repress that, that uh queer curiosity thing in me, but otherwise I'll say... exactly like me."
"I'm calm even in tense situations and don't lose my head, I can stand criticism and am
not easily offended... ah, playing a conservative person is so boring. I'll just say exactly
like me."
"I want every detail taken care of and continue until everything is perfect, I want
everything to be just right... oh so now we're going to be Goldilocks or whoever, gonna
have to click the middle answer."
"I don't like to ponder over things and I can't stand being alone, I don't spend time in
contemplation or introspection...well if you're too introspective then you don't get to
communicate with anyone, if you're too extroverted then you never learn anything about
yourself, your inner self, so I'm going to have to select the inner answer, the center
answer, maybe...just right."
"I take an interest in other people's lives and am deeply moved by others’ misfortunes, I
like to do things for others...well if you do too many things for yourself then you can't
help other people, but if you do too many things for other people you can't help yourself
so I'll have to select the middle answer."
"And you see, this, this, (laughter) person at the coffee table uh... they started to drink
too many espressos and listening to too many obscure albums so they're getting a little
feisty so..."
"I value cooperation over competition, I avoid conflicts and criticizing other people...
random answer. Aren't I so obscure? I mean, aren't I... I mean my answer is so unique."
"I'm not as strict as I should be and let my mind wander off and do things in a halfway
manner... halfway manner? I can answer halfway, isn't that a nice pun? I'm so funny, I'm
so...I'm so obscure."
"I search for the meaning of things and tend to analyze everything, I like to get lost in
thought and enjoy examining my feelings. It's so conformist to be taking this test so I'm
just going to back out and go back to the main list." (clicking sounds)
"Here we go, which one was that... the next one is short personality test. No...all these
things are kind of boring now. Dr. Phil's personality test? Well he's really insightful, I
remember there was this child who hit his mother on his show once, he said 'You can't
do that, kids hitting mom's? How can you possibly conceive of such an idea?' So Dr.
Phil is really wise, I wanna take his personality test, I wanna know what he thinks about
me."
"One: When do you feel your best? Hm, okay I'll answer honestly Dr. Phil...um, when do
you feel your best? Any time that there isn't sunlight, because I fucking hate the sun, so
not during afternoon and early evening. Probably... late at night, that implies that the sun
isn't up. Usually I walk fairly fast with long steps and I make people think that I'm going
through some panic attack."
"When talking to people, do you stand with your arms folded or your hands clasped, or
one of your hands on your hips...does anyone actually do that? (laughter) [???] actually
talk to people with their hands on their hips."
"Touch or push the person to whom you are.. (laughter) yes, I go around, go around
pushing people. Touch or push the person to whom you are talking, or play with your
ear hair, or whatever... well I don't really do any of those, I just stand completely still so...
um, I'll say I keep my hands on my hips."
"When relaxing, do you sit with... um I don't really relax, so I'll just say... one leg curled
under you, that seems like an intermediate answer. That's kind of creepy though, one
leg... oh, okay, they would be sitting down, not standing, (laughter) I was interpreting it
to mean that they would be standing one-legged, curled under...okay it's really not that
funny but um..."
"Oh, when something really amuses you, you react with a big appreciative laugh? A
laugh but not a loud one, a quiet chuckle, a sheepish smile? Ah, why's it called a
sheepish smile? I'll just select that one because it's so confusing."
"When you go to a party or a social gathering... well, I don't but... make a loud entrance
so that everyone notices you? Oh definitely, I definitely make a loud entrance so that
everyone notices me."
"Seven: you are working very hard, concentrating hard and you're interrupted, do you
welcome the break, feel extremely irritated, or are you between these two extremes?
Well... it depends. When I'm concentrating very hard on something, I'm probably trying
to overcome some deprivation, or some belief about deprivation. And when someone
speaks to me? They would... allow that deprivation to still survive, so... I'd say I'd... feel
extremely irritated."
"Which of the following colors do you like the most? Why-why is that entire sentence
italicized? Which of the following colors do you like the most? It reminds me of how the,
in comics they have these random words bolded. I can't be the only one who thinks this.
Does anyone else think that... they select those words completely arbitrarily when they
bold them? Anyway, which of the following colors do you like the most? Okay I'll answer,
don't get angry at me... um, I'd say... wh-what? Why is yellow/light blue an answer? And
why is dark blue/purple an answer? Well that makes sense, but yellow and light blue?
Well I hate yellow because it's kind of like the light that the sun casts, but I do like light
blue because it neutralizes the orangeish-yellowish type of color, and it's still appealing
in and of itself so... uhh, I'm conflicted and since I'm conflicted I might as well select a
conflicted answer."
"Nine: When you're in bed at night, in those last few minutes before going to sleep...oh
no, I hate that moment! That's when the boogeyman comes out. (laughter) You are:
stretched out on your back, stretched out your...oh, whatever. Being molested by the
boogeyman, but other than that I'll say with your head on one arm, why not? I'm pretty
much allover the place."
"You often dream that you are falling, fighting or struggling, searching for something or
somebody, flying or floating, usually have dreamless sleep? Dreams are always
pleasant, the last two don't apply. Sometimes I fly or float, usually when I'm in a
quasi-lucid dream state I can leap around, that's kind of fun. Searching for somebody or
something, usually I'm trying to get away from something. Fighting or struggling?
Uh...struggling, I guess getting away from someone? Falling? Well I fall in my dream,
when I'm falling asleep, literally...I actually do. I'm falling [???] but when I'm actually
dreaming? Why not answer flying or floating?"
"Score my quiz now, what do you think about me Dr. Phil? Wow, Dr. Phil answered
quickly, I wonder if this is the real Dr. Phil evaluating me. I scored a total of 40, is that a
good thing? I'm a loyal friend, others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and
practical, they see you as clever, gifted or talented but modest. Um... that's a really
stupid answer because that can apply to anyone... not a person who makes friends too
quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to the good friends you make, and
expects the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a
lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over
it if that trust is ever broken. So pointlessly vague..."
"Scoring key, 40... that's strange, I'm in the upper limits of loyal friend, I almost became
the lively center of attention. That's me, that's me. Well thanks Dr. Phil... onto the
miscellaneous quizzes. Generally for fun only? Well I'm a fun guy apparently, so..."
"Facebook intensity quiz, how intense a Facebook user are you? I have three Facebook
profiles. How many total Facebook friends do you have? Well 400 of course, because
I'm the fun guy who likes to be the center of excitement or whatever. In the past week,
on average, approximately how many minutes per day have you spent on Facebook?
More than three hours, bitch. Facebook is part of my everyday activity? Strongly agree.
I'm proud to tell people I'm on Facebook? Strongly agree. Facebook has become a part
of my daily routine? It's my best friend. I feel out of touch when I haven't logged into
Facebook for a while? Strongly agree. I feel I am part of the Facebook community? Of
course. I would be sorry if Facebook shut down? Strongly agree. I've used Facebook to
check out someone I met socially? True or false, isn't that the point of Facebook? They
give you their Facebook account and then you look at what they wrote. I use Facebook
to learn more about other people in my classes? Is the person who made this Facebook
quiz retarded? I think that's the entire point of Facebook, to, so that you can spread
information. I use Facebook to learn more about... strongly agree, of course, I don't
even use it and I'm saying strongly agree, of course I would if I did use it. I use
Facebook to keep in touch with my old friends...um, well... I guess strongly agree they
would? I use Facebook to meet new people, strongly agree, I don't know. I've been on
Facebook for four years or more? Of course."
"Score my Facebook quiz, 73? Facebook intensity is high, never would've guessed. Am
I a geek?"
"Who founded Apple? Steve Jobs, I guess, I don't know. Wozniak is the geek I don't
know, randomly guessing. Favorite magazines? Budget Living? Oh yeah because you
need to lead a sustainable life so you have to have a budget you see, because you can't
propagate life unless you're doing it sustainably."
"I have a [???] subscription to my favorite, I don't know what a [???] subscription is but
of course I get one."
"You get into online arguments against...I mean I get into online arguments about Perl
vs PHP, oh no but they forgot about Ruby so I have to say regularly."
"Have you ordered Half Life 2 or downloaded it as soon as it was available for Verve?
Okay, it's Valve... I hate the design of pretty much all video games, they're very poorly
designed, especially something like Half Life 2 but I know that it's Valve, not Verve. So I
might as well answer, what's Half Life 2?"
"I eat my first meal of the day before 1PM... um, okay maybe I'm a geek because I'm
asking how do you define day? Do you mean by the solar cycle or do you mean based
on my sleeping schedule? I mean, it depends. What do you consider a day to be? So,
I'll say never, because I never eat, of course."
"Red Pill or Blue Pill? I know that's a Matrix reference but... Blue Pill because I like
blue? I don't know. I understand the Red Pill/Blue Pill reference. Well of course because
you remember that question where... in one of those previous quizzes, where you have
to ask someone else and get embarrassed? Of course I understood that Red Pill/Blue
Pill reference."
"I access the Internet primarily via, or however you pronounce that in Latin, AOL,
EarthLink,
Libary, DSL, Cable Modem? All of them, that's how much of a geek I am so I'll say who
knows?"
"I wear or regularly carry this many mobile data/MP3 devices...carry all of them, of
course."
"My primary computer screen is this large? 14-17 because less is more."
"The last time I went on vacation was... actually I'm seriously going to think about that
one, when was the last time I went on vacation? I've never wanted to go on vacation, I
always hated when my parents brought me on them. So I'll say never."
"I love and watch anime? Well, I loved Gundam 0080 when I was 10, so I'll say...
sometimes?"
"In the office or at school I socialize by...I'm not in the office or school and I don't
socialize. I'm no-one, I'm a loser."
Title: "(Pointless) CulturalPhillistine The Movie Part 5/6"
Date: October 19, 2011
Adam Lanza: "So I'll say sending out E-vites on Outlook, meaning invitations because
that seems like the kind of thing a loser would do. My favorite operating system is... oh
Linux of course because I... um, I'll just say... [clicking] Mac OS X or OS2 because it's
obscure. I've used Google to search for pornographic movies/images? Did you really
have to say boobies in parentheses? I mean breasts are already disgusting enough by
themselves but you have to use a 'cute' terminology? So I'll say never just because you
really piss me off when you talk about breasts, they're...ugh. Fark? Is that? It's the
question, Fark? Is that like a combination of quark and fuck? So I fuck physicists? Uh,
gesundheit? I fuck German physicists? Well I do that sometimes...so I'll say gesundheit.
You scored a total of 20, you're pretty darned geeky...I am? Oh, well, gesundheit."
"Are you addicted to the Internet? Let's see if I am... I mean I can already answer that,
I'm not addicted to the Internet I just use it out of...indifference because, well, whatever.
The only thing I'm addicted to is life and I don't enjoy that."
"One: Do you find that you stay online longer than you intended? Well I don't intend to
be online at all, so...sometimes I don't know."
"Two: Do you prefer the excitement of the Internet to intimacy with your partner? Well...
those prostitutes I have locked in the basement aren't really receptive to my kindness,
so uh... I always have to end up beating them then they end up dying and I have to bury
the body, whatever... so, it's just not a fun process, I'm not going to do it anymore. I
mean I'm trying to overcome that problem that I have where I kidnap prostitutes, lock
them in my basement...so I'll say... I do prefer it, I do prefer to use the Internet because
it's just... it's not as fun as you guys think it would be."
"So, Three: Do you neglect to use proper English? Do you neglect household chores to
spend more time online? Well, I neglect basically everything, so...sometimes?"
"Four: Does your work/schoolwork suffer because of the amount of time you spend
online? Oh yeah, sure, the reason why I'm unemployed and not in school, yeah that's
definitely because I'm addicted to the Internet, yeah that's a good explanation."
"Five: Do you form new relationships with others online? Umm... I'm talking to myself
right now so it doesn't seem to be much of an indication that I'm forming relationships so
I'll say never."
"Six: Do others in your life complain to you about the amount of time you spend online?
Others in my life? What's that? I've never heard of that concept, never or rarely."
"Seven: Do you become defensive or secretive whenever anyone asks... I always say
ask, I mean I always say ass, usually when someone is pronouncing ask, they say axe,
but I say... I don't pronounce the K so I just basically say ass and I have to force myself
into saying ask. Um... am I getting defensive because I'm going on a tangent about this
question? Sometimes?"
"Have you ever noticed that your job performance/productivity suffers because of your
time spent online? Definitely because you know... the reason why I'm unemployed is
because I'm addicted, that's the explanation I'm lazy and addicted."
"Nine: Do you check your e-mail before something else that you need to do? Well... by
definition, yes (laughter) I mean... I guess I'm being too pedantic but the question is of
course, for everyone, yes."
"Ten: Do you snap, yell or act annoyed if someone bothers you while you're online? I
always snap, yell and get annoyed when someone bothers me when I'm online, heh."
"Eleven: Do you find yourself anxiously anticipating when you will go online again? Well
of course not, never or rarely, because I'm always online hahaha, oh I'm such a funny
center of attention aren't I?"
"Twelve: Do you block out disturbing thoughts about your life with soothing thoughts of
the Internet? Oh yeah I like it when people ban me from their forums, it's really
enjoyable, so I'll say often or regularly."
"Thirteen: Do you fear that life without the Internet would be empty, boring or joyless?
There is no life without the Internet, that's...you can't answer a question like that so I'll
say never or rarely because the question is nonsensical."
"Fourteen: Do you find yourself saying 'just a few more'... oh, um... that, uh sorry, the
batteries in my headphones just got depleted so that sounded really weird. What was I
doing? (rustling sounds) Do you find yourself saying 'just a few more minutes' when
online? Well, why not? Often or regularly...this is getting really boring."
"Fifteen: Do you feel preoccupied with the Internet when offline or fantasize about being
online? And I'm never offline so I'll say never."
"Do you lose sleep due to being online? Yes."
"Do you try to hide how long you've been online? Yes."
"Do you choose to spend more time...Yes."
"Have you ever tried to cut down? Yes. And failed? No, of course not because I already
said yes..."
"Do you feel depressed, moody or nervous when you're offline? Does it go away once
you are back online? That's an interesting question. Why would someone be depressed
when they're offline, but they're moody...I mean they're... they're... perfectly fine once
they get back online? What would the Internet be serving to do? People think... a
normal person would say 'it's obvious they're using the Internet to fulfill something that's
missing otherwhere, otherwise in their life', if they don't apply that same principle to life
itself... they'll say 'why do I want to pursue anything at all? I'm not addicted" and if they
do admit that they're addicted to life, they do it with a little happy face like 'Hey Ruca'
did, oh yeah life is addicting, haha, giggle."
"Life is an addiction and... so paranoid someone's listening to me talking right now.
Anyway..."
"20, I'll just answer 'often'...score my quiz... 23, which means that I'm net addicted,
possible. The last quiz in this psychcentral website is 'Are you addicted to psychic
hotlines?'... I thought by psych, that this website meant psychology but probably didn't
mean psychic the entire time because this entire website is pretty retarded."
"Which mental disorder do you have? Quizfarm... oh I wanna know, I fuck farm animals
so I'm sure this is the website where I can find out why I do that. Which mental disorder
do you have? The thought of eating three cheeseburgers makes you want to puke... you
eat three cheeseburgers and puke... agree, but I don't eat three cheeseburgers so I'll
answer um...maybe?"
"Two: It seems you're always on some sort of diet? By definition, yes."
"Can you just see all those germs squirming around on your keyboard right now... why
did you have to remind me of that? Now I'm going to have to go have... uh, what do they
call those? A panic attack. It's so obvious that panic attacks are culturally induced,
anyway, those germs squirming around on your keyboard right now...yeah I have really
good vision, I can see them, agree."
"Forgetting to turn off the oven has a catastrophic meaning... well it does when it burns
my house down like it has the last three times."
"Most things in life can be looked at as all-good or all-bad... that's an interesting
question too. All-good or all-bad...well, I mean can life be looked at as all-bad? No
because that's something that people don't understand about my position, they would
say... they'd interpret me saying that life is bad, when really life is good, and that's the
problem. Life is good by definition and... (sigh) maybe I should ask a psychic if I'm ever
going to be able to express myself more clearly. So most things in life can be looked at
as all-good or all-bad, I will say...whatever."
"The roll and the lions may be because I think I'll wear my beach ball fall tomorrow...that
makes perfect sense to me."
"Nothing makes you feel more in control than eating nothing but celery for days at a
time? Oh that's what those new anorexics do, I don't eat anything, that's how in control I
am so I'll say disagree."
"Are you so tired throughout the day that you can't sleep at night? Uh... is that one of
those other incoherent questions that can be um... a way to determine if you have
schizophrenia because that question doesn't make sense? Are you so tired throughout
the day that you can't sleep at night...it doesn't necessarily follow even if it is the case,
so I guess uh I'll just answer whatever."
"This world is bullshit...uhh, I don't want to go onto a rant about why that statement
doesn't make sense even though I hate life so... just select maybe."
"I swear to God that woman from Starbucks keeps putting arsenic in my mocha... umm,
I don't go to Starbucks, I go to this little independent coffee shop so... disagree."
"The Hillside Strangler, Heaven's Gate cult, Watergate and your 9th birthday all
related... you know someone would probably think that I am schizophrenic because I'm
making, I see all of these ties between things such as culture and... you know just listen
to my past videos and you'll get what I'm trying to touch right now. They would dismiss
me as being schizophrenic... even though I'm completely lucid. So I'll say strongly
disagree because it kind of pisses me off..."
"You've had ten past boyfriends and/or girlfriends in the last 1-3 months...define
boyfriend and girlfriend. Disagree."
"Everyone knows that murderers are the real victims...haha, um... disagree, fuck
murderers."
"Does the idea of stuffing a cat with lighted firecrackers sound like fun? Um well I mean
I love rodents and cats kind of... eat rodents, so I'd be protecting the rodents by killing
the cats so I'll just answer maybe."
"One day I'm model gorgeous, the next I look hideous oh my God seriously what's
wrong with me... actually I do think about that about myself, not in a what's wrong with
me sense, but sometimes I think that I do actually look cute and other days I guess
maybe when I haven't slept or I have more acne than usual I'll think... oh my God I look
hideous. So agree...sort of."
"Smiling, not just overrated but impossible... I'm not one of those people who say that
happiness doesn't exist, happiness is the problem. So... I don't know, maybe."
"Do you have trouble resisting the urge to say 'motherfucking cocksucker' when
praying? Um... why does this question assume that I...whatever, maybe."
"You enjoy stealing stuff because eh, whatever...well I'll answer eh whatever and just
select the maybe. There's...there's more questions."
"Calculating results... oh good I don't have to enter an email address. You scored as
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Is it really that obsessive compulsive to answer 'eh,
whatever' to every question? Congratulations, you have BPD... you know it's actually
kind of funny that all of these people in the comments are saying what they were
diagnosed with but, really that's...that's really what psychiatrists do, they do identify
mental problems with everyone who's values differ from them, which by definition is
everyone, so to some extent psychiatrists see everyone as being delusional, I mean
they see them as mentally ill because everyone is delusion."
"Let's see, Quizfarm week's most popular... let's get away from the psychology stuff.
What group are you? What group are you? Chav, rocker, skater, emo, goth, trendy,
preppy... does this set of bands appeal to you? Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, Marilyn
Manson, umm...I don't know anything about music so I'll answer maybe."
"Do you hang around the skatepark alot? Is that a literal question because...is that
another one of those bands because I would have interpreted that to mean they're...do
you ride skateboards? But some of the words are capitalized so I don't know, maybe."
"Do you own any items of [???], Nike or Adidas clothing? Um... I don't think I do."
"Do you follow the rules of fashion? I don't wear clothes that's...how much of a rebel I
am. I castrated myself when I was fifteen to rebel against society, that's how cool I am."
Title: "(Pointless) CulturalPhillistine The Movie Part 6/6"
Date: October 19, 2011
Adam Lanza: ""Do you wear black and lots of makeup? Okay I can tell now that this
person isn't talking about bands, they just have no idea how to type properly and I'm
okay with that because I hate when people try to impose proper grammar rules and
proper spelling and proper formatting... there is no proper anything. So... do you wear
black and lots of makeup? I don't wear any makeup but I have some black stuff so I'll
say maybe..."
"Do you dislike people that dress differently to you or listen to different music to you? I
dislike everyone so I'll answer hell yeah."
"Do you have a fringe that covers one of your eyes? I have a fringe that covers both of
my eyes so... fuck yeah."
"Do you regard yourself as proper? Hell no."
"Do you go to private school? Hell no."
"Do you endlessly roam the streets causing trouble? Uhm... heh, (laughter) my fringe is
interfering with my eyesight so much that I was answering the questions using the
wrong column, so going back...(repeating questions back to himself, along with last one)
all of the time...no, no, I'm on the Internet all the time, remember? So I roam the Internet
streets causing trouble so I'll answer sort of, no..."
"Do I [???] Macbeth or famous stars? I'm not sure what that means so I'll answer no..."
"Do you like to hang out at McDonalds? No, the McDonalds corporation exploits animals
(laughter) I've been a vegan since I was thirteen but it's kind of... completely retarded to
think that you're actually accomplishing anything by not...being a vegan doesn't mean
that you do not harm animals, by living, by choosing life you are... it's, life is innately
harmful, life is innately coercive to everyone else, so if you choose life... I'll just answer
no."
"A gig is the best place to be? A gig is one of those music events so I'll answer yes
because I'm so cool that I hang out at those places so I can be the center of attention."
"Skating rules? It...doesn't obey the rules of grammar apparently, but I'll say yes
because I'm a rebel, you know."
"Do you like Hawthorn Heights? I think that's a soap opera, I'll answer maybe."
"Do you flash your cash? (laughter) Yeah I go to the playground all the time and flash
my cash to the little kids... I'll answer fuck yes."
"Do you own a small 15-year-old Vauxhall Nova or a Ford that you've attempted to
improve? Um... well I'm assuming that they're talking about cars because they say Ford,
but I don't know, maybe?"
"Do you love Bam Margera? Maybe..."
"Do you play the guitar, drums or in a band? Totally because art is important..."
"Darkness rules, hell yeah, next..."
"Oh there's another one, do you know Dylan Smith? No..."
"Do you listen to Metallica? No. Is that a band or a genre? Or is it both? I'm not really
sure."
"Appearances are everything... totally."
"Do you wear drainpipes, in parentheses, really, really tight jeans? Yeah all the time I
only...well actually no because I'm naked all the time, you know."
"Do you have long hair? No I...what are those called? [???] Those things that just kill
hair follicles? I pour that all over my body so I'll say no."
"Do you frequently shop at Topman? Um... no, I'm a queer bottom man."
"The world is just out to screw you over? Totally man. Fight the power."
"Do you believe in being different from everyone else? I'm sure you do and that's why
you capitalize these strange letters. Well... my real answer is no-one is remotely
different from eachother, they're all just... we're all the same, we're all deluded. Might as
well say no."
"Do you wear brands like Adios, Euro, Element, etc? [???] No, I don't think I do."
"Do you keep a diary? Well, is what I'm doing right now a diary? I don't know, maybe,
no...tend toward no."
"Are you very arrogant? No, I mean...I'm so great that my greatness warrants this
behavior so I'll say no, of course not, I'm not arrogant. I am the best out of everyone."
"Do you have to have expensive clothes? Well I mean... expensive clothes, it depends
on what you're talking about. I mean I can...actually just forget that answer."
"Are you [???] concerned about the way you look? Yes I am."
"Do you constantly give the middle fingers? Oh yeah, I think it's...I don't know which
fingers they're talking about so I'll just answer yes."
"Do you skate? Didn't they have two questions that were like this? Yes, whatever, just
continue, tell me what I am, tell me what I am, please I can't wait for the results to
calculate...I can't tell how long this has been going on. An hour? I don't think I'm going to
be uploading this. Tiebreaker? Tiebreaker? Oh man, they already asked these
questions, I don't know how to answer them again."
"Do you wear black and lots of makeup, do you listen to Metallica, or do you skate? So I
guess it's going to end up indicating that I'm a goth? I'm a Metallica someone? Or I'm a
skater. Let's see which one of them am I... well I hate all of them because I hate all of
culture, but I kind of like how goths uh... sure, they're not anti-cultural, but they're
counter-cultural and that counts for something so I'll award you with one point, and
next."
"You scored as goth...cool. But it lists rocker or mosher as the top one. Oh, emo is
pretty far down, I have a lot of sympathy for emos, I like emos. I have five minutes
before the hour mark. I'll go to the highest rated quizzes. Who is my perfect girl? Guys
only."
"This is kind of a strange quiz, I'm not sure what it's talking about. Who does it mean by
you? And does this...I mean, who's my perf-whatever, I'll go to home. I hate being
home, I'll go there anyway and...which Gundam 00 organization do you belong to? Well
I loved Gundam 0080 so I'll..."
"Trenchcoats are very fashionable, yes. Freedom is everything...uh, death is freedom,
yes, I don't know. Protection is everything, protection is life, no. You are a
troublemaker...no, of course not. You are willing to give up your life to protect something
dear to you...I don't want to give my life, life is precious. What isn't on your side is
against you...maybe? The only good enemy is a dead one, uh, well maybe? I don't
know what they're talking about. It is important to be able to keep a secret, um...no, you
need to talk about your feelings so that you can end up involuntarily committed. It is
important to act on your beliefs... yes because belief is everything. Do you wish to atone
for something in your past? Uhh, atone for being born? I don't know. You graduated in
the middle of your class...no I was expelled, so...no. You are a family person...of course.
You're okay with following orders, of course. You are an elitist? Well I'm an elitist of the
life class, so yes, I don't know. You realize the consequences of your actions... I realize
the consequences of not properly spelling words even though...this is getting really
redundant isn't it?"
"Oh no, the waves are dying down but I want to continue surfing with you, I love you so
much. Can't you just click that feeling lucky button and Google for everything... ah
random words (keyboard clicking) my search did not match any documents...isn't that
what life is all about? I'll check out my channel."
"CulturalPhillistine...guy is such an asshole. Let's see if SomethingSea responded.
(clicking sounds) No, he must not like me. I feel so hurt I'm going to have to hurt myself.
CulturalPhillistine, come back... no, not that. No, no, stop doing that. There we go.
Come on, no-one's rated my videos negatively yet, I'm a masochist, I want you to rate
them negatively. Oh, someone liked my SomethingSea response so I guess someone
watched it. Or maybe... (laughter) maybe I liked it without realizing it, that's how much of
a tool I am."
"I know this is really fucking stupid... all of this. I mean, really when you analyze what
I'm doing at this moment, and what I've been doing for the last hour, I'm basically just
procrastinating because I know that the solution is death. Inbox...no messages, as
usual. Subscriptions...this is glitched, as usual. Oh, PinkNun[?] uploaded a video,
women and anti-natalism. Oh my headphones hurt, and their battery has been depleted
so I guess I'll watch this later."
"But what do I think about women and anti-natalism? It depends on what you mean by
anti-natalism, because it could mean the conventional perspective anti-natalism or it
could be this Efilism stuff that they're talking about, or it could be this anti-valueism stuff
that I'm talking about. But what do I think of women? Well I don't think of them any
differently than anyone else, I mean... whatever. I don't... I guess I'll, just end this here."
"Oh yeah and that reminds me, how much time do I have left? Oh no, 20 seconds,
okay... asexuals, asexuality, I meant to add to my prior video, it's um culturally induced,
it isn't, it doesn't exist in nature so... if you think you're asexual, you're deluding yourself,
it's because of consequence of what you experienced... oh no two seconds away, bye."
(video cut)
"Okay this is very rare for me... I'm actually in sort of a positive mood, I have, I'm
listening to the... the video of me web surfing and of course when I'm, it's been
sufficiently long enough that of course when I'm listening to that it's almost as if I'm
interacting with someone who is exactly like me. And so that gets me into a positive
mood and... uh, this is genuinely in as positive of a mood as I get, when I'm... I mean
you could call it hopeful but, okay I'll just go with that, as hopeful as a mood as I ever
get in consciously. And so... what do I think about death right now? Well, even in my
most pleasurable state I can conceive of, I mean even that I can imagine, I still see
death as the solution because happiness... I've already explained my position.”
“Happiness is not really happiness, happiness is actually the cessation of deprivation.
Any happiness that you experience is a consequence of your enculturation. I mean any
happiness in a cultural context is a consequence of your enculturation... so what do I
feel right now? Do I feel none of that matters and I can just enjoy my happiness? Um,
basically no, fuck life, I should kill myself (laughter) this is me in my happiest mood."
"Because there is no happiness. I mean happiness is death, I've already outlined in my
previous videos, my previous rambling, vlog, whatever videos today... that life is
suffering and death is happiness. And it makes perfect sense to me right now, it always
makes perfect sense to me, and so even when I'm... there's not really a difference in my
actions based on whether I'm in my worst or best mood. I still persist in just going
through the motions and I never pursue death...and I never pursue life, I'm just kind of in
an intermediate state. But I am in a good mood so don't let anyone tell you that I am... I
want to die because life is so miserable, because that's not my position, I've said this so
many times. Life is a great thing and that's the problem, and if you don't understand
what I mean by that then...everything that I've...it, and if you've listened to everything I
said earlier then I'm not going to be able to communicate right now, maybe in the future
I'll be able to express that more coherently but... guess that's it."
Title: "SomethingSea Response #2: A difference of perspectives?"
Date: September 27, 2011
Adam Lanza: "TireIron[?] was talking about how we could all be a result of dream
creation[?] and not remember that we're all connected beyond this, with meditation
being the method by which we could achieve this [???], he sees life as a path that has
the potential to go towards something. Toward the end of his videos, he said that
ultimately there are no stages, points, paths, goals or secrets, there's just this... I'm not
sure what he meant by that because it seems to imply exactly what I'm saying. My
position is that we are on a path and we can potentially experience more, but we have
not and would not have discovered any of it, we have and would create all of it out of
nothing. More awareness does not allow the discovery of any higher experiences, it
creates the experiences out of nothing. Think of it in this cultural context, a feral child
does not have the desire to read a great novel. If you are encultured, you would
subsequently be able to experience the pleasure of reading it, but culture did not allow
the discovery of the experience. Culture created the greatness out of nothing. Culture
imposed the deprivation of not having read the great novel and thus created the
pleasure which had resulted from fulfilling this deprivation. That is why I refer to culture
as masochism, which I had described better in my 'Suffering is Life-Affirming' video
that's linked below."
"Culture imposes a deprivation and causes its victims to seek the fulfillment of it; culture
operates in the same way that all of awareness does. Awareness does not allow the
discovery of experiences, it allows the creation of it. I see awareness allowing a higher
vibration in the sense that you cut yourself deeper and thus scream louder, and there I
go again talking about a self. What am I babbling about, saying that I reject the self? I
think that you're treating the self similar to the way that Rothbard[?] treated property. He
would ask me, 'what property rights are there?', I would tell him that I cannot answer the
question because there is no property. And he would say 'but of course there's a system
of property rights because you demonstrate that through your actions', life seeks to
propagate itself, in order for life to propagate it must manipulate matter in a certain way,
occupying space or drinking water does not impart a metaphysical classification of that
matter as having a property-property. Perception delusionally contracts metaphysical
categories. Your question is, which self is doing the evaluating?"
"I cannot answer the question because it depends on appealing to a concept of a self,
but I reject the existence of all forms of self. You say 'but of course there's a self
because your actions demonstrate that it exists', in order for a certain manifestation of
life, sentient creatures to propagate, it must contrive a notion of a self, but there is no
self in the way that there is no property. They are just delusions created from nothing."
Title: "Strange Dream #1: Beyond Dreams Door Is Where Horror Lies"
Date: September 20, 2011
Adam Lanza: "I just woke up about ten minutes ago and I had a strange dream so I
thought I would explain it. The background was basically, long story short was, I was in
high school and I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do and told the authority figures
to fuck off and I got imprisoned. So, ha, after that I was at my prison cell and two of the
other prisoners got on guard duty, I don't know. Let me out, one of them was apparently
an ex-gang leader...not sure why. And they led me to a desk where there was this
poorly constructed wooden tricycle with low-quality rubber wheels or something like
that."
"We went up to the receptionist's desk, I don't know... who he was, but he told me good
luck and I got on the tricycle and started... they brought me over to a door and the
receptionist told me to get in touch with my young side, or something like that. So I
started breathing heavily, thinking 'okay I've got to prepare for something' as we
approached the door. And bravely ensued[?] into the room and it was the interior of a
gymnasium and there was this group of... spectators sitting on the floor in a circle,
around some type of obstacle course that was about maybe twenty-five feet wide. And...
it wasn't meant to be completed vertically, it was a horizontal course that you were
supposed to circle around, and there's this star pattern in the center, but a little off to
one side... and you had to maneuver around this course using the tricycle. And make it
as entertaining for the crowd as possible."
"So, you were supposed to go around five times, for my first round, and there were five
other prisoners who were competing and presumably whoever the crowd found most
entertaining would get to be freed from the prison. So, for my first round I was... instead
of riding the tricycle I was, you know how when you... have a bicycle you can kind of
use the wheels to bounce? So that's what I was doing, I was bouncing twenty feet into
the air. And the crowd liked that and I threw in some tricks in the second round where I
was... um, spinning 360 degrees and that kind of thing, and on the third round I started
going backward and the crowd really liked that but after a few bounces I accidentally
went out of bounds."
"They were cheering as I was leaving, and of course there was one guy who was saying
'you fucking suck' (laughter) um, but I sat out with the crowd and started watching the
next two prisoners to see what they were going to do, that was supposed to be
entertaining. Oh yeah and the outlines of this obstacle course um, had balloons laid
around them, different colors. And once I got out of the course, my tricycle turned into
this.. balloon that was starting to lose its helium. Well they, it didn't have any helium, it
probably had a heavier-than-air gas in it, all of the balloons did and my balloon, um, was
starting to lose its' air. But I was watching the two other prisoners and all that they
were-did to be entertaining was play some of the, what do they call it? Benny Hill theme
music, and starts... tossing a balloon between the two of them. And I was thinking, 'this -
that's, they're not even doing anything, I'm going to win this competition' and then that
was basically the point at which I woke up. And I thought, what was that? So anytime
that I'm - end up waking up and asking myself 'what did I just dream?', I'm going to
record it and I guess I'll start this new series of...strange dreams. Strange dream
descriptions, so... sorry if that wasn't entertaining enough for you, but that was the
dream."
Title: "Suffering is life-affirming-Life is suffering"
Date: September 27, 2011
Adam Lanza: "Relatively speaking and within the context of being alive, I have always
been in a very privileged position. At this point in my life I can pursue and achieve
practically anything I would desire. And if I were to commit suicide, I'm certain that many
people would say 'I cannot believe that lazy spoiled loser killed himself, I've always
been poor, my parents beat me, I was bullied every day as a child and I got raped, but
despite all of that I still choose to live.'"
"This may seem counterintuitive at first glance, but my position is that someone does
not choose to live despite suffering, it's just to live because suffering is life affirming. The
way that culture operates might help to demonstrate this, the first thing that anyone says
when someone is suicidal, other than possibly saying 'you need medication to change
your mentally ill thoughts' is 'you need to have goals in your life', but what are goals? A
feral child does not have any goals, a feral child would not have any desire to become a
renowned writer or an eminent scientist, or have interest in hobbies, or become an
interesting person, or develop any of those character-building traits."
"However, if that child were encultured, he would develop innumerable goals to achieve
various things. Culture did not allow the feral child to discover the pleasure which he
can achieve from experiencing any of those things, culture imposed the deprivation of
not achieving those things, and thus created out of nothing, the pleasure which results
from fulfilling that deprivation. Culture is masochism. Since life seeks to propagate itself,
I suspect that culture emerged to prevent human intellect from enabling feral people to
lose their aversion to death. Ted Kaczynski's experience is an example of this
happening. When he had spent enough time alone in his cabin, he said that he became
okay with dying at any moment because he was happy with his life."
"My interpretation of this is that he had sufficiently overcome his enculturation to the
point where he was no longer being hurt by it. Since he wasn't hampered with the
deprivation which culture imposes, he was not afraid of dying. In the past, the cultural
reason why you couldn't kill yourself was because God said so. Or because it will
continue some metaphysical cycle of suffering, or because your parents own your body
and suicide is dishonorable. These days, the dominant cultural justification for life is this
belief that you can't kill yourself because there are things that need to be accomplished
in life. But you do not live for the achievement of your goals, you have goals so that you
will continue to live and thus will continue to propagate life."
"I used to distinguish between the fulfillment of cultural and feral values, but then I
realized that feral values are just as coercive of a delusion as cultural values are. I still
emphasize cultural so much because of how prominent it is, and once you understand
that culture is a disease, you can recognize that life itself is a disease. The deprivation
which results from the existence of both cultural and feral values are the only reason
why anyone wants to live. Life is suffering, everyone has heard that statement, but they
don't accept it at face-value. They interpret it to mean that life has suffering, but life is
suffering, and suicide is the solution."
Title: "A few things"
Date: October 14, 2011
Adam Lanza: "A lot of the anti-natalists disparage people for not being able to see the
pointlessness of their existence, and I, I'm actually closer to [???] than I am to Gary, as
strange as that may sound considering that I'm completely anti-life. I've always believed
in personal meaning, whatever that means, heh. It wasn't the realization that absolutely
everything about me is a consequence of my environment that changed me, it was,
well, I didn't really change that much, I've always been this way but it was the realization
that absolutely everything about me is not just personal meaning, it's that meaning itself
is a scar."
"Basically everyone, whether or not they admit to it, think of life as being a tool that you
can use to channel into some metaphysical plane of happiness, and that's why there are
people who say 'no matter how bad things get, at least I'm alive so that I can experience
anything', but that's not how it is. Happiness and goodness and... all of those
synonymous words, they... they don't come from anywhere other than you, and by that I
don't mean to sound like Professor Anton saying that you should work toward those
things. I'm actually saying the complete opposite."
"It's not that you build happiness and goodness out of nothing, using suffering as some
ingredient to somehow make it more grand. What you create out of nothing is the
suffering of not achieving what you want, not the happiness. There has never been a
feral child who has said 'sure I like splashing in these ponds and climbing these trees
but I feel really bad about myself because I haven't written that book that I have been
working on and I haven't been to the symphony in a while and I just feel so brutish and
uncultured', just like a disease, a feral child would need exposure to culture to
experience the fulfillment of achieving any of those things. And all of that applies to feral
desires, too, there's never been a rock that's said 'sure I like being a rock but I really
would like to drink water, I mean drinking is such a great experience', you can drink a
gallon of water and become completely disgusted by it, but if you go without drinking
water for an entire day of course it's going to be one of the greatest experiences you've
ever had. It's not because you're creating happiness, it's because you're fulfilling the
deprivation."
"And awareness itself is suffering. It's not that life has suffering, life, life is suffering. So
instead of being like Gary, where I would dismiss people for chasing big balloons, I'd
say that what people do, including me, including what I'm doing right now, is... every
action that you take, it's... basically what life is, is you blow into a balloon as hard as you
can until you almost faint, and then you toss it into the wind, then you sprint around
chasing it until you can barely move anymore, and once you finally chase it, you stomp
on it. And the harder you blow, and the longer you run, the louder the pop is going to be
but... the entire thing is pretty retarded, isn't it?"
"And, I mean you're not doing yourself a favor by achieving any of those things. You're...
your awareness of those things is causing problems that you have. There's that whole,
you know the Matrix thing with the red pill and the blue pill? I don't know which one was
which but... it was celebrated, taking the pill that led to more awareness was celebrated
as being noble somehow, and it's the cool thing to do. But... what are you going to do
with that greater awareness? Your greater awareness is only going to allow you to fulfill
the deprivation that gaining the awareness imposed onto you. The feral child was never
deprived of, deprived by not knowing anything about art, and the rock was never
deprived of anything by being unable to experience drinking water."
"The statement that ignorance is bliss is used so negatively, but the people who use it
are... just, they just have masochistic intentions, they aren't noble in some way. They
aren't achieving anything and someone would say 'well you just', I don't know which pill
is which but they would say 'you would take the pill which results in lesser awareness
because you're happy being a Christian and going to church and living a cozy life but
meanwhile we artists and scientists and philosophers, we're going to deal with the real
things and the real world.'"
"I'm not saying that I want the lesser awareness, what I'm saying, I'm acknowledging
that one of the pills results in more suffering than the other and that's the only difference
between the two. With one of them you have certain delusions and with another one
you have certain delusions, but... there really isn't a difference between them. Ideally,
when offered the red or blue pill, I would request the cyanide pill, that would just
basically be what I'm saying."
"But anyway, people give religion a hard time for being a delusion and I know that I used
to, um, first time that I thought about it when I was around thirteen, I just pretty much
immediately came to the conclusion that this is just complete nonsense, how could
anyone believe this? But uh... it's not only religion that's a delusion, it-religion is really a
scapegoat. The way that people treat it, saying 'religion is the cause of most conflicts'
that's just such a mischaracterization, it's not religion that's the problem. Religion stems
from the same principles that secular values do it's all this evaluation delusion that's the
problem. And that's why people like Professor Anton and [???] I think his name is, say
that you can't just dismiss everything that's religious as being nonsense."
"The reason that they say that is because value itself is religious, I'm just as religious as
any fundamentalist is, it just manifests differently in me than it would... in anyone who's
explicitly religious. We're all religious because we all believe in the delusion of value. I
think that's everything regarding the whole, um, I'm not even sure what I'm talking
about."
"But anyway, there was one thing that I was sure I wanted to talk about and that's
mental illnesses and IQ. There are people who say that IQ doesn't really measure
anything and intelligence is such a vague concept, you can't define it. But, that's kind of
irrelevant, you really have to look at what religion - sorry - um, you have to think about
what IQ is used to determine. And I think that IQ can be defined in a very good way and
anything else which would be used in a similar way to IQ and that is the measurement
of your susceptibility to being encultured, and subsequently the extent to which you will
be able to propagate culture."
"You can't really enculture someone with an IQ of 20, but of course the people with an
IQ of 200 are going to be the ones that enable exponential enculturation and all of those
things. But under what situation is IQ relevant? It's always in a cultural context, and I
guess that's it on IQs. People talk about how it measures your likelihood to succeed in
society, of course it does because it's cultural measurement, but whatever."
"Moving on to mental illnesses. Mental illnesses can be thought of in the same
paradigm I guess, they're basically just barriers to enculturation, I mean mental illnesses
in the generally colloquially used sense are just barriers to um enculturation. You've
never heard about a bi-polar bonobo who's been unable to maintain employment, or
anything of that sort. Mental illnesses emerge in the cultural context and they only
become a problem when you're in a cultural context that's... just, I see culture
everywhere, it's so disgusting."
"When someone's mentally ill, you think 'how can I help this bi-polar person to become
more productive?' or 'how can I help this schizophrenic person to become more
productive?' and there's always this emphasis on the word productive. Basically no
matter who you're talking to, they emphasize this whole production word. I mean even
the anarchists do and I don't think they realize what they're actually talking about when
they're talking about production. What are you...working toward? Production is basically
just the application of the propagation of some aspect of culture."
"And someone would say 'you're just lazy because, you don't want to be productive
because you're just lazy', but... it's not that I'm lazy, it's, laziness basically means that
you're a secular apostate. Being told to be productive to me... has always sounded like
being told to join in on the baby-raping orgy. Um... I don't want to siphon anything, I
don't want to be productive because I've never wanted any of this. I mean when I was
younger I used to just aspire to become a vagabond or a hermit or something like that."
"But that... doesn't address what culture is. I mean I've been raped every day of my life
and this STD of culture is oozing around everywhere. Becoming a hermit doesn't really
solve that, heh... someone would say 'you must be crazy because you don't appreciate
technology', think of it as it pertains to pre-agricultural societies, I don't really know that
much about anthropology, well I don't really know much about anything but, um... I'm
pretty sure that whenever a pre-agricultural society comes into contact with a
post-agricultural society, the pre-agricultural society doesn't adopt the methods of
whatever empire is coming into contact with them just because 'your arguments are so
rational', I'm pretty sure that in almost all circumstances they reject that system of
society."
"And they always become post-agricultural through the application of violence. And
someone would say 'it's not violence because there are property rights and there's this
justification and this justification' but it, it's... if you think that property rights are not
based on violence then I don't even have anything to say to you. Are those
pre-agricultural societies insane because they don't appreciate technology? Someone
would say 'no they're just pre-enlightened' don't even want to get started on this
'enlightened' word."
"What is a person from a pre-agricultural society supposed to do when someone throws
them onto the baby-raping orgy and they aren't raping fast enough, so you say 'you're
not being aggressive enough, you're enjoying the benefits of raping these babies but
you, there you are slacking', it's not that the person is slacking, it's that the person
doesn't want to be in the baby-raping orgy at all."
"And you think that mental illnesses, in the way that it's, they're generally used, in the
way that they're generally spoken about, do you think that mental illnesses... that there's
not something innate about culture that causes them to emerge? It's like you want to eat
your cake and have it too, or however that saying goes. It's like... it's like people who
believe that you can use violence to achieve some revolution, and you'll somehow have
this enlightened society or... whatever, any of that means."
"But the means you use are going to be integral to the operation of whatever emerges,
you can't... you can't have a violent revolution and expect there to be an egalitarian
society afterward. That's what culture is, when you rape me, what do you expect me to
be other than to be fucked up? (laughter) I'm pretty much done with this channel. I've
said pretty much everything I can about what culture is and what life is and... all of this
is pretty simple. It's, it's not, it's not achieving anything, I've already outlined this. It's...
seeking meaning is like applying, it's like... applying a flaming piece of meat as a
bandage and you think that's going to somehow help you."
"And... all I can say at this point is, there's this little thing which connects to this other
little thing, and it all indicates that culture is delusion. And I'm not saying I'm somehow
beyond this, when I'm doing, what I'm doing right now is exactly the same as what
everyone else does. It's all cultural mannerisms. There's - I guess I should talk about, I'll
make a separate video about um, speaking about pedophilia since I already said that I
would talk about it. I don't really have the motivation to go into this in depth to any
degree, pretty much. But, I said I would talk about it so I guess I'll just read through
the... beginning stages of an essay that I was working on regarding pedophilia. So, look
forward to that video I guess... kind of ties in all of this together, and that's why I've
always been so obsessed about the subject, and you'll understand that once you listen."
Title: On Pedophiles and Children (Part 1/8)
Date: October 19, 2011
Adam Lanza: "Hello, I'm your host Philip Greaves Junior[?] and I'm going to just jump
right into this so I'm sure I'm going to be missing a lot of things, it's going to be very
redundant, it's going to be very unorganized, but I should say that before I start, I'm not
a pedophile, I'm not remotely pedophilic, I've never knowingly had any association with
anyone who is remotely pedophilic, I have never seen child pornography, I've never
tried to look up child pornography, I have absolutely nothing to do with pedophilia or
anything like that. My interest in anti-pedophobia is entirely academic and if you think, if
you think that, if you've listened to my other videos and by the time that I finish reading
this quasi-essay, that... I'm just trying to justify some latent pedophilia, then I really have
nothing to say to you, just flame me or whatever. But I'm just going to just start this
video."
"And I should warn you that I haven't worked on this in a while, other than adding a few
excerpts a few months ago from an online discussion I found between a pedophobe and
a post-modernist. I haven't done anything to this in months. And I appeal to things like
rights, and I sound like a complete moralizer so just try to excuse that and pay attention
to what I'm actually saying."
"And what I'm saying, I should say is... that pedophobia, anti-pedophobia is a very
expansive topic and this essay isn't going, isn't meant to cover even a small portion of
all of it, it's just a response to the assertion that children, even if they consent to sex,
really don't consent, it's statutory rape because for some reason, they can't consent.
And I'm just addressing that, in this. And once again, this is going to be completely
unorganized because this essay really never got to a presentable stage, I just threw out
my thoughts everywhere."
"And... it begins, I began talking about Tyler Clementi's suicide and how it's ironic that...
uh, that he, I'm just going through like five paragraphs... It's ironic that his death was
considered horrendously tragic but Louis Conradt's death... if you don't know who he is,
you should look him up... was extreme, the circumstances of Louis Conradt's suicide
were extremely, extremely similar to Tyler Clementi's, the only difference being that
Louis Conradt was being persecuted to an infinitely higher degree and he had,
everyone expects empathy for Tyler Clementi and one of his room-mates has been
indicted on fifteen counts and is facing, how long? (clicking sounds) He's facing possibly
more than ten years in prison for committing a hate crime. Yet in Conrad's case, the
small amount of criticism which was ever directed toward Perverted Justice, NBC and
the police only applied to the technical methodology of his arrest. Xavier von Erck, the
founder of Perverted Justice, responded to Conradt's death by effectively saying that he
would've preferred if he hadn't killed himself, but he was only bothered by the situation
because they would not be able to press any charges."
"And I talk about how pedophiles face infinitely more persecution than homosexuals
ever have, or any transgenders, or bisexuals, or whoever, just the entire LGBT group.
And... no-one seems to care. I talk about all the ways that pedophiles are persecuted,
and moving on... I say why is this the case? Is it right? Heh, that pedophiles are the one
social group which everyone can agree deserve to be tortured if not outright killed? And
more appeals to emotion, here I am defining some terms because technically Louis
Conradt wasn't even a pedophile, he was a pederast but anyway."
"More terms, I talk about that... when I say pedophile, I'm going to be using it as if the
pedophile were always male because... it's not that there aren't female pedophiles, it's
just that there are significantly, significantly fewer that have been identified and To Catch
a Predator demonstrated that pretty well, there wasn't a single female on the show. But
it's not because there aren't female pedophiles, it's that owing to cultural structure... uh,
I talk about the various cultural reasons why you don't hear about female pedophiles
and why females only comprise six percent of reported child molestation cases. So, I'm
talking about pedophiles as if it automatically implies a male, and specifying that might
not even be necessary because we luckily already have a mental image of a male
pedophile. Perhaps he's a dirty old man in a raincoat who hides in the bushes of a park
while lugging in a bag of candy."
"That's um, To Catch a Predator also demonstrated pretty well that all of these
stereotypes about pedophiles are false, everyone, people from all backgrounds are
pedophiles. Um, pedophiles are, I should say that actually, when I say pedophile too in
the context of in this essay, I'm talking about ephebophiles and all of them, I'm just
combining them into pedophile and how do I define it? The definition, the definition of a
pedophile which I will be using is an adult male who both desires and engages in sexual
activity with any person who is considered to be under the legal age of consent, that's
what I'm talking about when I say pedophile here."
"But I... um, To Catch a Predator, it demonstrated how pedophiles are as diverse as
homosexual adults are. And this... this stereotype that pedophiles are just creepy old
men is false. Anyway, move on, talking about what I mean when I talk about child,
defining child, because in the United States a child can be anyone from a newborn to a
seventeen year old. And for the sake of brevity and to not to greatly obfuscate the focus
of this essay, my general usage of child will be in reference to someone who is
somewhere around the age of ten up until the age of consent and/or the age of majority,
depending on the context of the sentence. I'm not directly dealing with children such as
toddlers, although much of what is to be said also pertains to them. I select
approximately ten years old as a minimum because it is reportedly around the age to
which the greatest number of pedophiles are attracted. Heterosexual pedophiles who
are attracted primarily to pre-pubescent children have an age preference of 8 to 10
years old, homosexual pedophiles prefer 10 to 13 years old. So I'm just talking about
age 10 and up, and... let's just make this essay more simple because once you include
toddlers which... I'll get into that."
"But there really isn't much of a difference between a toddler and a 70 year old, when it
comes to this topic. And I talk about personal anecdote, where, because people wonder
how could a child possibly get into a situation where they're participating in a pedophilic
relationship? I talk about a personal anecdote where that could've happened, even
though that wasn't remotely my intention. But basically there was this lonely thirteen
year old boy and I, that I knew online and I asked him, he never said much of anything,
and asked him what he thought about something once and we got to talking about
various things each night. And at one point he degraded something he said because he
was just a kid and that kind of thing and I replied that age meant nothing to me and
another time he asked me about what I thought about homosexuals and I said that
someone's sexuality doesn't mean anything to me either and he thought it was amusing
that I appeared to not judge anything about anyone."
"And soon after, he confided in me that he was bisexual and that I was the only person
he had told. He began talking to me about his sexuality and all sorts of personal things
like his anxiety over being in a family of Jehovah's Witnesses, of being in an abnormally
homophobic school, and of his attraction to his male best friend. I had never tried talking
to him about his sexuality to him, he brought up the subject solely by himself because
for the first time in his life someone was actually willing to listen to him as a person
instead of under the label of a child. He appreciated that very much and even joked
about wanting me to be his father. All of it made me wonder how many lonely children
there are out there who are dismissed as being unimportant because of their age?
While there was nothing pedophilic about any of this, it illustrates how a pedophilic
relationship could begin and I... have a note to myself to elaborate on that but I'll just
skip this part."
"One pedophile in his journal described that, boys just want to know about sex and
no-one really wants to tell them about it, they want to play with themselves and with
other people and they want to do it more times than teachers or parents would think
possible, all I do is give the boys what they want and to let them talk about things that
no-one else would let them talk about. And heh, after this pedophile was discovered by
the police and subsequently committed suicide to evade prison which is the standard
pedophile action because pedophiles are brutalized in prison and people and society
seem to think that's a great thing. I talked about that earlier, but I skipped over it,
whatever."
"One of his young lovers said about him, I could really talk to him about this girl whom I
wanted to fuck, we had petted but I guess I was a bit scared about what to do and then
she, I think was like me, we spent a bit of time together, him and I, working out what I
should do and it seemed to work. When I went back to his place a week or so later I
was very proud and couldn't wait to tell him what I had done and how it had gone. He
seemed very pleased with me and asked me all the details and I told him and we were
both happy. It was a really big kick to have him do things for me, I mean I really liked
him touching me there and allover my body infact, I might've felt a bit guilty to start with
but as the years have gone by I just see it for what it was, just a bit of fun and a way for
me to get a new experience."
"I say that pedophiles... I'll just read this. Pedophiles have the capacity to relate to
children better than the rest of society's adults precisely because they do not see them
as children. Society dismisses pedophiles as profligates who reduce children to sex
objects but it's instructive to see how the rest of society actually views children. This
perspective might explain why pedophilia is so abhorred by society, the clues provided
in a quote from Xavier von Erck's personal website. A couple of months prior to Louis
Conradt's suicide, he wrote that 'I'm not in this to protect children, it's a nice side-benefit
sure, but my motivation is to make life a living hell for predators and pedophiles online'."
"That sounds a bit strange, presumably the opposition to pedophilia is based off of a
desire to protect children, yet the mother of a girl who had consensual sexual activity
with an adult said of her that 'my little girl was abused and abused, she probably knows
more about sex than I do, it sickens me to have to say it but I think she came to like it,
she must have because she was always excited when he came around to the house,
when police told me what he had done to my little girl I thought she would've been better
off dead.'"
"What can you even say to that? People express, we don't want pedophiles to have sex
with children because we want to protect the children, but as you'll see it's not really the
case. And I say, heh, incidentally she said of the pedophile that she just wanted to tie
him in an ants' nest and pour boiling water over him, and that's quite tame considering
what other people want to do to pedophiles all the time. Anyway, since death is the
antithesis of protection, how can this belief be reconciled? Hidden beyond the overt way
societies treat pedophiles, it is instructive to see the less prominent treatment of
children, what is the life of a child like?"
"And I talk about how children's free wills are suppressed and annihilated in every
conceivable manner within families, I think that's pretty obvious I don't even have to go
into that. And I talk about how governments institute this... and if an adult discovers that
her child has chosen to engage in a pedophilic relationship with another adult who has
been able to sympathize with and relate to the child, the relationship of the child
considered to be valuable is instantly destroyed and the child is left crumbled."
"Children are indoctrinated into believing that they have been manipulated and
unimaginably abused by the pedophile, while their own parents simultaneously increase
their control over every facet of the child's life. They're labeled as horribly damaged
victims and are subject to the will of psychiatrists who treat them into believing that they
can overcome their abuse. Doesn't it say everything about society's view of children
when pedophilia is so commonly compared to necrophilia and bestiality? Society views
children as being no different than inanimate, unfeeling matter at worst, or mindless
animals at best. And I have a note here, consent is something which is important to me,
on the contrary people who oppose pedophilic relationships are the ones who do not
care about consent. They completely dismiss children's wills and desires as being
nonexistent."
"And uh, here's a paragraph, of appealing to emotion and at the end of it I say: the world
shows to children that they're not people, children are property and that is the case,
children are property. I'm not saying they should be, I'm just saying, that's how it actually
is. I say that the treatment of pedophiles and the treatment of children are immutably
intertwined issues, it is difficult to talk about one without including the other. And... I try
to explain why this essay is going to sound so bipolar, because you can't talk about
pedophiles and not talk about children, you can't talk about children and not talk about
pedophiles."
Title: "On Pedophiles and Children (Part 2/8)"
Date: October 14, 2011
Adam Lanza: "So, here's the real beginning sort of, pedophilia is subject to numerous
explicitly fallacious arguments which are often accepted as obvious truths. If the
identical arguments were to be used against homosexuality, many people would see
them for what they are. But the inclusion of children clouds people's vision. An example
of this would be to say that pedophilia is unnatural and therefore should not be tolerated
just as with homosexuality. Another is how people [???] a child is physically unable to
have coitus, all sexual acts with all children should be outlawed, just as with
homosexuality. A third example is the assertion that pedophiles should not be tolerated
because the DSM declares pedophiles to be mentally ill, just as it formerly arbitrarily did
with homosexuality and arbitrarily removed... I don't know why anyone takes the DSM
seriously."
"I will not address the dozens of arguments, such arguments for the sake of brevity and
will go directly toward the most common and most understandable argument, the idea
that children are fundamentally incapable of consent. Someone who argues in favor of
this might concede that there are individual children who are capable of consenting, but
that there is a considerable portion who are unable to do so. Because of this they argue
that, there should at the very least, be an age of consent law instituted to protect those
children from being raped. Because of this concession, all of my references to words
such as child and children will refer to a completely average child rather than an
exceptional one."
(whispering) "Okay, I'm really sorry but... I feel like I'm yelling and I usually don't talk this
loud. Um I don't know if I can keep this up. I'll try."
"I say, uh... personally I do not understand why sexual activity is considered to be
incomprehensible to a child, perhaps I missed a memo I was supposed to receive at
some point because I have the same conception of sexuality as I did when I was first
exposed to any of the information pertaining to it at age 11. While my evaluative
judgments of sex have changed, I haven't had any defined transcendence which I was
presumably supposed to have pertaining to the conception of it."
"Along with this, when I was prepubescent, it was my observation that I nor any of my
peers would've had any incapacity to consent. I have never remotely understood the
mysticism with which this topic is treated, however I will try to treat the argument as
fairly as I am able to. And that's true, I am trying to treat this argument fair even though I
consider it to be as absurd as saying 'but of course there's a God'."
"So, here's the beginning, this is really the beginning. There are several arguments... I'll
have to scroll back. There's the argument that... all of them, according to what I have
heard, are, they basically boil down to this: that children are cognitively, physiologically
incapable of understanding sex, or that children don't have the practical knowledge
necessary to consent, or that children lack the experience to make informed decisions
with that practical knowledge. And children do not understand that they're being
manipulated by pedophiles, that's an extremely... (laughter) it's an extremely loaded
assertion in so many ways. So many ways. Um.."
"That one, I uh, I'll get into that later. And the other, few more arguments are: children
are harmed physically by sex somehow, and children are harmed psychologically
somehow, and the final one is children don't ask to be free, you don't see them picketing
in the streets so why should we allow them to have sex. That's um, pretty stupid. Which
one do I think is most... understandable? Well honestly I don't think that any of them, I
can't understand any of them. Um, I would say... that, bah, I'm being completely honest
I-I don't think that any of them are remotely legitimate, but okay I'll scroll back to... oh no
I clicked away. This file is too long, I'm only like a tenth of the way through it."
"Okay, some who argue that children cannot consent to sexual activity and that they're
cognitively incapable of the necessary comprehension, this argument is based on the
assertion that children's frontal lobes are inadequately developed to wisely conceive of
something as allegedly confounding as sex, or something like that I'm not really sure
what the argument is, they talk about children's frontal lobes being undeveloped so...
you can't let them have sex until they're 25 or something like that. The state of their
frontal lobes is said to be relevant because their capacity to reason is perceived as
being considerably affected by it. Capacity to reason is a requisite for understanding
what sexual activity entails, which is necessary for the establishment of consent to it,
from this view children would be similar to a mentally-impaired adult. An argument
against such an adult's ability to consent does not directly pertain to the specific
developmental state of their brain, it instead relies on a doubt as to the capacity to
reason which is merely indirectly owing to the state of their brain. Similarly a child's
ability to consent would also be purely dependent on their capacity to reason, rather
than the irrelevant developmental stage of their brain."
"At the beginning of 2011, the High Court of England and Wales had to determine the
criteria applying to a mentally-impaired adult in establishing the legitimacy of consent to
sex. It ruled that... I'm not taking court seriously I'm just, whatever. For capacity to
consent to sex to be present, the following factors must be understood. A: the
mechanics of the act. B: that only adults over the age of 16 should do it and therefore
participants need to be able to distinguish accurately between adults and children. C:
that both or all parties to the act need to consent to it. D: that there are health risks
involved, particularly the acquisition of sexually transmitted and sexually transmissible
infections. E: that sex between a man and a woman may result in the woman becoming
pregnant and F: that sex is part of having relationships with people and may have
emotional consequences."
"The Court did not need to isolate the mentally handicapped adults into a metaphysical
category separate from neurotypical adults, the ruling applied to both and it was only
given because there happened to be a particular case[?] in question. Momentarily
ignoring B, when they talk about 'only 16 and up', these appear to be a reasonable
criteria for the establishment of consent to sexual activity and I cannot imagine other
jurisdictions coming to vastly different conclusions."
"Um... I would say, I can't imagine other secular jurisdictions but, the ruling states that
any mentally-impaired adult who could understand all of this would be eligible for sexual
activity, likewise it would intuitively apply to children who are to be seen as being
mentally-impaired owing to their undeveloped frontal lobes. Therefore if a child
understood all of this, then they would be free to engage in sexual activity if they so
desire. However, the judge threw in B, a requirement that only adults should legally
engage in sexual activity. It is a qualification which I would similarly expect to have in
every jurisdiction. If a severely mentally-impaired adults may engage in sexual activities
simply because they are capable of understanding sex, then why not, why may a child
not enjoy the same right?"
"Really, what's the difference between the two of them? While it might be conceived that
children are cognitively capable of understanding sex, it is further argued that for some
number of external reasons, they should not be allowed to engage in it. Because the
Court did not attempt to justify its' position, I will have to assume that it was a general
reflection of the attitude of the rest of its society and I will attempt to address those
widespread contentions."
" (sigh) I don't even know why I wanted to do this, this is so dumb. While some people
may conceive that children are technically cognitively capable of consenting to sex, they
claim that children do not have the practical knowledge to do so, they argue that it
would be like a child who likes to play with army men toys agreeing to join the military
because he does not know what it actually entails. If that is the case, then that is an
indication that children should be exposed to the entirety of the relevant information
pertaining to sexuality. It is as if someone has been held captive in a cage for his entire
life, upon my telling the guard to release the prisoner, they proclaim 'what do you expect
me to do? He hasn't lived long enough in the cage to understand how he can live
outside of it.'"
"If a particular child is ignorant of the facts of sexuality, it is not owing to some
inadequacy that they personally have, it's because our society has failed them by
deliberately withholding relevant information. Perhaps someone would argue that
children might be able to understand information if it were to be given to them about
sexuality, but that they're incapable of using that information to make informed
decisions. It is said that because sexual relationships are multi-faceted, whatever that
means, they are subsequently incomprehensible to a child, whatever that means."
"This vague fugue can only mean that children have not been conditioned into having
the same arbitrary cultural values and bigotries about sexuality as the rest of their
society has. If it were to be said that a person may only engage in sexual activity once
they have matured to a certain extent, maturity in that case would be completely
synonymous with that person's ability to conform to others' expectations. Basically in the
case of childhood sexuality, they argue that children have not been indoctrinated into
understanding that child sexuality is supposed to be morally outrageous."
"If homosexuality were to be considered indecent by society, would you tell a new
member of that society that they cannot engage in it because they do not have an
accurate conception of what the homosexuality means to all of society? Or would you
dismiss their society's perspective and recognize that the only relevant parties are the
ones engaging in a homosexual relationship. Furthermore, who gets to decide what the
values are which pertain to sexual relationships? Personally it is my recent opinion that
marriage is an institution which is innately mutually destructive to both husbands and
wives, and that everyone would be better off if they never married. I can justify my
beliefs at extensive length, although everyone would recognize that even I were
irrefutably correct, it would not somehow be a justification of the use of violence to
coerce people into not marrying each other."
"And here I go talking about justifications, I'm such a moralizer aren't I? I really was, I'm
not... I think you'll understand what I'm saying here. I'm not saying it's wrong to not allow
children to have sex, I'm saying, what am I saying? Personally I generally even, do not
know how... perhaps I genuinely even do know how people can most happily live, but
no-one would advocate coercing people into living the way I believe is best for them.
Why would my opinion or anyone else's, for that matter, remotely matter to people who
are in a relationship in a context which pertain to any... which pertain to any particular
relationship are up to the individuals involved to perceive on their own. The most
prudent position would be to allow everyone to live in the way they desire, instead of
forcing them to behave according to some irrelevant external notions of vague
prerequisites and what sexual relationships are supposed to entail."
"In the case of children, why can't each child determine by theirself... it's getting hard,
yelling. What sex means to them. While I don't recognize the assertion that children do
not have a proper conception of relationships, perhaps there generally are perceptions
of sexuality which are important for people to have to engage in romantic relationships.
If that is the case then, if children were allowed to engage in sex, they would no longer
be alien to any of those meanings and constructively share those values with the rest of
their society."
"Although this notion that children cannot 'get' sex is extremely vague, some of its' users
are asserting that a child does not understand that they're being manipulated by an
adult to have sex with them. First, this kind of question is characteristic of society's
views of pedophiles. Before I read this, I don't remember exactly what I wrote, I didn't
address this point very much, I was working on other things at the time. But there are
like four things I can just think of, right off the bat of what's wrong with this assertion. It's
so insane... first this kind of question is characteristic of society's views of pedophiles.
The view that all pedophiles manipulate and molest children instead of having
consensual and mutually beneficial relationships with them. And this is an excerpt, well
a quote from... I think it was Paedophilia: The Radical Case, I don't know. They're seen
as preying on children rather than relating to them and corrupting them instead of
showing them affection."
"Society tries to reduce pedophilic relationships to an adult sexual attraction to a child,
imagine trying to describe an adult heterosexual relationship to someone who, no
matter what you say, inevitably responds with 'I will not be tricked by you, despite
whatever justifications you might contrive, the relationship is fundamentally based on
the decadent sexual attraction of a male to a female, women are subjected to
patriarchal manipulation and thus are not in any position to willingly participate in a
relationship with a male', what can be said to someone who indubitably believes that
women should be dismissed as precious fools who are abusively preyed upon by
libidinous males? I don't know what you could say to such a person."
"Then I have a note to talk about societal power and to talk about what manipulation
means. And... more notes. And... talking about how, saying that a child, all sex with
children is, I mean, statutory rape because children aren't interested in sex somehow.
Um... and that they can only be manipulated into it, and I'm saying how every single
adult manipulates the child, yet somehow when it comes to sexuality, it somehow
becomes abusive. It's not because of the manipulation that you perceive, it's because
you're a bigot and you're afraid of sex."
Title: Video: "On Pedophiles and Children (Part 3/8)"
Date: October 14, 2011
Adam Lanza: “And, uh, tying this into feminism, and talking about how, but if it's- if the
sexism between equals, how can you prevent coercion? (Laughter) And I'm talking
about how, if you're going to say those kinds of things, then you have to prevent
coersion, and that's reason to prevent any interaction between any person, because you
have to demonstrate that sex is different than any other interaction. And perhaps, I say,
that perhaps there are children who perceive sex in their own way. After all, don't many
adults say that it's somehow "making love" when, I mean, basically I'm saying because
people apply their own meanings to sex, so why not allow children to do that instead of
forcing it onto them?
And, addressing this, "well, adults have more power than children, so their relationships
are illegitimate". Saying the proposed solution to eliminating instances of a discrepancy
of authority in relationships is to use the authority of adults to control children as
property rather than to allow them to live in the way they desire. Seems quite
counter-intuitive. And I talk about how the issue here is the notion of societal authority.
And, how appalling it is that people talk about how children should be disciplined, and
talking about how it's so strange that someone can advocate a system under which
children are treated of sub-human property. And then, they're somehow surprised when
someone- when they perceive someone being treated as s-sub-human, even though
that's not what's going on. Whatever.
And I say, how can you criticize a pedophilic relationship [only/owing] to a power
discrepancy while supporting the power discrepancy in every single non-romantic
relationship a child is forced into having with adults? Why is it that the presence of
sexuality makes one abusive, yet not any of their others? Just because the opposition to
pedophilia from a power disparity perspective has nothing to do with pedophilia. The
same thing applies to, well, [???].
The reason why it is opposed, like all of the others, is because of an edifice of
composition to sexuality. That's all. And I talk about the power disparity between
different people, like politicians and subjects. A politician has the ability to write in an
arbitrary law which allows the police to kill the subject on sight, yet no one objects to this
for the reason of a power discrepancy. You like that power discrepancy because it's i-in
tandem with your cultural values. I talk about what a [finish to power change done?] but
I'm not quite what I mean by this part. It's been so long that I'm not quite sure what my
notes mean anymore. (Laughter) Some of them, I mean.
Talking about what if there's one person's... it's just more of this interaction between
unequals. And, I talk about, what if a child actually desired the experience or whatever
that you perceive the adult is having? I mean, isn't it pretty obvious that the
overwhelming majority of females seek, um, the father of the children who is in the
highest possible position of societal authority? I mean, you wouldn't say that a female is
somehow being abused because she actually desires that; you would allow her to do
whatever the fuck she wants.
And, more of this power disparity stuff. I-I actually don't understand what people mean
when they talk about power. I mean, it's like someone's talking about some magic
concept; I have no idea what the word 'power' means. I mean, when someone talks
about morality, at least I understand sort of vaguely what they're talking about, but I
don't know what the fuck power is.
Uh, saying that children should be prevented from behaving the way they desire
because adults have more authority is no different than saying that slaves should be
prevented from behaving the way they desire because free people have more authority.
The [???] would have absolutely nothing to do with the slaves. All the fault lies in the
institution which oppresses them and continually contrives justifications for its existence.
And I'm talking about instead of eliminating sexual relationships which have power
discrepancies, you should eliminate the notion of "power" in society. If a child wants to
have sex with an adult, why can they not? That's basically what this entire essay is
about.
More of this... (Laughter) This is a pretty funny section, even though it isn't completely
relevant. "This argument against pedophilic relationships can be applied to females to
oppose their premarital sexual relationships. Because males in such a society have
more power, that makes their relationship illegitimate? What is wrong with that?
Someone can say to a male that the institution of an adult male having sex with an adult
female is rife with innumerable centuries of domination and oppression. Females cannot
countenance the power dynamics involved in such a relationship, and thus must be
prevented in engaging in any until they attain our societal milestone of marriage. All that
you can say to a person is 'fuck you'. (Laughter) All that can be can say- All that you can
say to a person is, 'This is nothing to do in species' notions of institutions, power
dynamics, and society. This is what we want to do, and it only [invalidates?] us; nothing
else matters.'"
And, I talk about the reason why you bring this power dynamics [sic] up is because of a
patronizing perspective of children as being subhuman. It's not because they are, it's
because you perceive them as such. That's the entire point of bringing up this power
argument.
Oh a-and tangen-tangent-tangentially I talk about how it's actually the children who have
all of the power in a society. In pedophilic relationships, considering that, uh, pedophiles
are so hated, that in consensual relationships, it's the child who's actually in control.
Whether or not that's good, that's the way it is.
People are probably going to say, "You're-you're a patriarchal pig, because you probably
think the same things about females. Because you say that females have all the power
because they can accuse someone of saying that they-they've been raped". Actually,
where am I going with this? It's just a tangent. Just, fuck you.
And here's an excerpt from... actually, this is irrelevant. And I'm only not even a third of
the way through this. Oh, this 'children can be brainwashed' argument. And here's an
excerpt from, um, what was it? I think this was from, "Pedophilia - Radical Case". I'll
read this whole thing because it's pretty good, but it's long.
"A glance-" Uh, did I? Okay. "A glance at the way in which we think about religion, and
the religious education of children, may help to put our culture's attitudinal response into
a useful perspective. At an official level, it is agreed that a child's introduction to religion
is extremely important. In Britain it is enshrined in the 1944 Education Act that all
children in all schools shall begin the day of an act of worsh- with an act of
worpsh-"(sighs frustratedly) "shall begin the day of an act of worship—the only element
in the curriculum which is insisted upon by statute.
This being the case – religion being considered to be of vital importance – one might
have expected that there would be an equal concern in Government, at least as great
as that in relation to sex, that children should not be subjected to 'manipulation' by
ruthless adult salesmen offering every kind of creed; that these people should not be
free to exploit the vulnerable minds of children.
For it is- for if it is true that children are incapable of making judgements about sexual
relationships, how much more adept are they likely to be at judging the rival claims of
Protestant and Catholic, or Jehovah's Witnesses and Exclusive Brethren? How can a
child, who is so easily persuaded to believe in Father Christmas, be expected to make
sense of it? Won't h- she or he accept, far too, uh, uncritically, the highly contestable
notion that there is a god? Why not- why not leave the child's mind in a state of
unmolested innocence until an age is reached as- at which intellectually valid
judgements can be made?
But no. Even though this is an important issue, adults are free to fill a child's mind with
any prejudice or bigotry they like, without any danger or- of facing a sentence for
corrupting a minor, assaulting on a child's mind, or anything else. Children are seen as
fair game for the imposition of any religious belief or value system that the adult,
particularly the parents, cares to impose. As Bertrand Russell has remarked,
'One of the right- few rights remaining to parents in the wage-earning class is that of
having their children taught any brand of superstition that may be shared by a large
number of parents in the same neighborhood.'
Why does society tolerate this? Partly, there is this vague feeling that it is better for a
child to have some religion than none at all – not least because most religions
emphasize a restrictive sexual 'morality'!" (Laughs) "But it is instructive to note that very
little is made of the dangers of manipulating a child's mind.
The dangers are demonstrably far greater than any consequence of manipulating a
child towards consensual sexual activity (one need only mention Northern Ireland to
remind oneself of how religious bigotry reinforces antagonism between peoples)." Uh,
whatever, it's... no comment. "but, quite irrationally, society cares little- cares less about
it. Religious manipulation is assumed to be good and is positively encouraged; sexual
manipulation, or 'guidance' or 'showing how', is assumed- assumed to be bad and is
stamped upon with maximal force. I shall try to show that the latter assumption is
misplaced."
"Young children above the age of infancy become susceptible to manipulation of a less
direct kind, characterized by deception. When children acquire language, they can be
told untruths, from the relatively, though not entirely, benign Father Christmas myth, to
the pernicious threat of the 'bogeyman', who comes to take away naughty children.
Sexual myths usually fall into the pernicious category, alas, so that the whole area of
sexuality becomes poisonously invested with mystery and darkness – and the
perpetrators, far from being pedophiles, are usually ordinary parents who, because of
their own sexual anxieties and conflicts, are inclined to [fought?] off children with such
classics of deception as the idea that babies are brought be-to be- brought by the stork."
Oh... man, it's so crazy. I had no idea about anything pertaining to sexuality until I was
11, and I'm pretty sure that's the experience for everyone. People like to pretend it
doesn't exist.
"If the use of deception i-is a possibility for parents, it is of course a possibility for
pedophiles too. A pedophile who concocts a non-sexual 'reason' for he and a small child
to strip naked together, say, may succeed in arousing the child's sal- sexual curiosity
and excitement. This would quite clearly be manipulation, based on exploiting the
ignorance of the child as to the adult's motives.
Supposing, by contrast, the pedophile had been scrupulously non-manipulative.
Supposing, instead of playing tricks, he had simply, and openly, invited the child to 'play'
sexually. Both approaches would require for their success the child's willing involvement
and participacing- participation at all stages.
The fact that in the more manipulative case the participation is induced by sleight of
hand is really less important than the fact that the child is relaxed and enjoying the
situation. Indeed, the sleight of hand may be an effective means of enabling the
situation to occur 'naturally', so far as the child is concerned, without any
embarrassment or uncertainty on the adult's part."
Sorry, I'm getting really tired of yelling.
"If the child is being led, or manipulating- manipulated, it is at least a benenvolent[sic]
manipulation, in the sense that it leads – so long as the child is willing – towards a
pleasurable and harmless outcome. Parents constantly engage in benevolent
manipulation of this sort, without fear of social condemnation: usually it is called not
'manipulation', but 'encouragement'.
Very often, parents will presume to anticipate a child's long-term wishes by ignoring, or
manipulating their way around, or, or his immediate w- immediate wishes. For example,
in teaching a child to swim. The child may at first, may be tearful and apprehensive of
going into the water, or beyond a certain depth. By encouraging 'pull' forces, and
cajoling 'push' forces, the parent persuades the child to have a go, and to not be afraid,
to do that which is not at first de- desired. The parent does this in the full knowledge that
eventually the child will relax, learn to swim, and enjoy the water.
What the sensible parent does not do is to drag his protesting six-year-old screaming
towards the edge of the pool and throw him into the deep end. Interesting- interestlyinterestingly enough, were he to do so, and providing the child was not allowed to
drown, this would probably not qualify as a criminal offence, although for the child it
could be as nasty an experience as rape. It is not an activity in which the intervention of
law is thought to be necessary. There is no elaborate questioning of whether in any
particular case the child actually consented to be introduced to the water, or was
manipulated into consenting. It was presumed that the adult will be benevolently
intentioned, and that all will work out well.
I am not suggesting that in sexual activity a child's wishes should be ignored, in the
same way that a parent gets around- gets round his child's fear of the water. Given that
many children in our culture grow up with a deep suspicion and fear of all things sexual,
and given that there are deeply held views as to the 'sinfulness' of many sex acts, adults
who mor- adults are morally obliged to accept the child's attitude towards sex.
A parent does not accept his child's inalienable right to be afraid of water or swimming.
That would be silly. But the pedophile does have to respect the child's fear of sex. It is
the child's right to take a negative attitude, whether because she or he is- i-is genuinely
afraid of sex, or because she or he simply doesn't fancy, or like, the pedophile in
question, or for some other reason.
As a boy-lover, I- I- I'm- I'm-" I-I'm reading an excerpt. I'm not- don't take this out of
concept- context. "As a boy-lover, I'm aware that chatting to a twelve-year-old boy is a
vastly different matter, on average, to doing the same thing with a boy half that age. The
potential for manipulation, benevolent or otherwise, by an adult m- by a male adult at
any rate, is enormously curtailed. By this age, practically every boy has learnt a great
deal.
He will be well aware of the prevailing sexual mores. No adult could con him into sexual
activity by disguising his own motives. He would know too well that- what the grown-ugrown-up was after."”
Title: On Pedophiles and Children (Part 4/8)
Date: October 14, 2011
Adam Lanza: "Sorry I'm not even halfway through this file and this has already gone on
for 45 minutes. 'He would know too well what the grown-up was after, he would know
that such people are usually looked down upon, he would know that they are described
as 'queers' and 'benders' and that to go with them would result in social disgrace. There
are others who use the opportunity afforded by social integration to consciously and
deliberately seek sexual encounters. Over a period, they may succeed in creating an
atmosphere in the group in which sexuality generally is seen to be acceptable and in
which the prevailing barriers of sexual inhibition and guilt are lowered. In such a context,
the 'seduction' of an individual youngster is likely to be facilitated. It is possible to view
the whole, long-term process as cunningly calculating, and therefore manipulative in a
mischievous way, but only if one believes it proper that youngsters should feel sexual
inhibition and guilt, and that they are being cheated out of these feelings.'"
"'As a final exercise in perspective on the theme of manipulation, we may consider the
advice given in a recent medical textbook to those doctors called upon to examine
children following a discovered sexual relationship with an adult. Quoting, it's out of this
excerpt: 'If the child refuses to be examined, a process of negotiation and bargaining
sometimes results in acquiescence.' (laughter) And he says in parentheses, by offering
a bag of sweeties of perhaps?'"
"'Continuing 'Sedation or deferral of the examination to another visit are other
alternatives, depending on the circumstances. Occasionally, none of these alternatives
can be utilized successfully, these cases will require admission of the child to the
hospital for examination under anesthesia.' So much for the consent of the child to
examination.'"
"'In the same textbook, a contributor describes the pedophile's efforts to persuade his
victim to cooperate and to acquiesce or consent to the sexual relationship. Oftentimes,
bribing or rewarding the child with attention, affection, approval, money, gifts, treats and
good times. But he may be dissuaded if the child is, if the child actively refuses and
resists because he does not resort to physical violence. His aim is to gain sexual control
of the child by developing a willing or consenting sexual relationship', end quote."
"'The desire for a consensual relationship is thus represented as merely a cynical
combination of manipulation and bribery by the adult, although it is conceded that,
quoting again, at some level, he cares for the child and is emotionally involved with him
or her.', unquote.'"
"'The point is that when the consent condition is fulfilled, the rules of the game are
suddenly changed and consent is no longer of any account: the pedophile simply
cannot win.' And that's the end of the excerpt. You really should read that book if you
have the chance, it's kind of outdated but... goes more in-depth into the topic than I do."
"Uh, moving on... oh, I found, I remember a while ago, I think it was in the comment
section of some blog, on the Internet I found this guy saying, um, I'll quote him, he
framed it pretty well: 'What does a person need to get about sex? What makes it
anymore spectacularly involved than tying your shoe, eating some ice cream, or
watching a really good film? People don't do themselves any favor by placing sex in its
own category of importance and significance. People can connect with each other
intimately in many different ways, spiritually and intellectually as well as physically. Let
me hazard a guess, what people mean when they say 'children don't understand','
(laughter) that's the best that I can do too because I don't really understand what they
mean by children don't understand."
"'They mean that... children don't have the cynical, ugly, jaded view of human beings as
manipulating quasi-psychotics, the people who say this tend to see a poisoned well
everywhere they look. They see ulterior motives beneath the surface of every
expression. Does a child understand that her stepmom buys her candy and takes her to
the park in favor, in order to curry her favor? Does she understand that she has to go to
Sunday School because her parents want her to grow up with the same inculcation they
received? Does she comprehend the subtle molding and shaping and channeling her
guardians impose upon her in order to try to steer her toward, closer toward matching
their ideals?'"
"'No, most children would not, but you don't say 'you don't buy sweets for your kids
because they don't understand your motives', no, instead people telescope on sexual
expression, by all means mutilate children as you see fit, pour your religion into them, fill
them up with your phobias and your cowardice and weaknesses, but damn it if a
sexuality enters the picture then you point buster, you've crossed the line.'"
"'Most people don't give two squats about manipulating eachother, manipulating children
especially, especially. Don't try to fool me that they do. They care about sex because
they've had it punished by their own parents' shame and guilt and feelings of dirtiness,
religions but not just religions, I'm glad that he made that concession, heh, it's more
than just religion that's the problem...have told them to turn their nose in disgust at their
animal selves, as if they should castrate an entire aspect of their nature.'"
"'But you can't, the human animal has its desires and always will, that does not mean,
however, that it does not come packaged along with human ego, human consciousness
and conscience. People will manipulate, people will engage in sex, but these two do not
necessarily occur at the same time, they do not entail one another. If someone detests
manipulation then by all means, fight it, I feel the same way, and I hate seeing children
lied to and cheated. But I wont for a second let someone make me feel ashamed
because they have issues with human sexuality and place it on a black pedestal.'"
"I wish there were more people like that guy. And now I go into this whole 'children are,
children are asexual, why would they want to have sex? They must have been coerced'
argument. It's completely false. Children have... it's akin to saying that because boys'
voices deepen once they reach puberty, they're incapable of singing when they're
pre-pubescent. I mean it's pretty much saying the same thing."
"And I talk about how... there's no evidence which exists to justify this, it's completely
absurd, it's very well established that children are sexual and it's pretty fucking obvious
that children are capable of experiencing sexual pleasure. I mean, I remember when I
was like 5, maybe not 5, maybe 8... I don't really remember because my mind is so
blurred about this because I didn't know what sex was. But I remember, laying on the
bed and having my penis pushed into the, I didn't even know, I didn't even know it was
called a penis but I just knew that um sometimes when I laid down, face down, it felt
good to... it felt good, that's all that I knew."
"And I wasn't, I didn't become a... sexual deviant because, I mean, I was... I don't even
want to get into this, it's so crazy to say that children are asexual. And, oh, here I say
how it's the exact same kind of claim that would be used to relegate females to the
status of property. The notion that females are asexual and thus there is nothing wrong
with denying them their own decisions because they must be controlled for their own
good. Violent coercion is justified against the female because of some cultural criterion
specifies that only mentally ill females, afflicted by nymphomania, would ever desire
anything sexual."
"When people say that children are asexual... they aren't really talking about children
being asexual, they're just contriving the justifications for why children should be
controlled. And... the reason why people think that children being sexual is somehow
pathological, it's because, it's just because this culture where they're not expected to be
sexual, that's why they're classified as being fucked up when they're not really, it's you
who is fucked up."
"Oh, here I get into this point about 'children can't have sex because of STDs and
physical damage'... I say a lot about this that, uh, but I don't have to read this, it's so
fucking obvious. Anyway, it's like an ad-hoc justification, if STDs didn't exist, people
wouldn't oppose pedophilia any less. I talk about how... I'll just skip this part."
"And I say that pregnancy and STDs are very, very simple concepts that can be
thoroughly explained in a few minutes. And that if you're so worried about STDs, then
you should allow children to have access to contraception and protection rather than the
current situation where they have absolutely nothing and I include some statistics that
are pretty much irrelevant. Except for this one: when regarding physical damage to
children, 95% of consensual pedophilic relationships do not involve penetration.
Pedophiles as a group are not psychopathic, they love children and would not harm
one. The 'Pedophiles Guide to Love & Pleasure' which everyone, absolutely everyone
was freaking out over at the end of 2010 represented the general opinion of pedophiles
when it explicitly stated that there should be no penetration with pre-pubescent
children."
"Although I never actually read it, I just read that as a quote from it. I mean it's
impossible to find that book because it's been repressed. I don't really have an interest
in it anyway because I'm not interested in engaging in a pedophilic relationship, I just
like that, I just like the academic subject."
"And I talk about how children are subject to significantly worse risks than STDs but
no-one seems to care because those risks aren't sexual. And... talking about how
absurd it is to say that sex, sex is coitus. I just, I'm forgetting all of that. I go on to say
children who engage, well they say, children who engage in pedophilic relationships are
harmed psychologically. And from 'The Man They Called A Monster', there's a kid who
said, who was in a relationship with a pedophile 'I can't really think of how this could've
possibly affected me adversely, but I sometimes think about what would have happened
if we had been caught, certainly he would've been devastated by the law and the police,
I think I would've been made to feel as though I were some sort of freak and might have
well sort of begun to think of myself as being a queer or whatever, but that's all that
might've happened, what really happened was enjoyable and didn't affect me in a major
way at all.'"
"And I say, presumably this assertion is because sexual relationships have
unimaginably grave consequences of some sort and thus must be approached
exceedingly carefully which is... baseless. I'm talking about how... the harm which
results, as a consequence of a consensual pedophilic, actually a non-consensual, uh...
the harm which results from a relationship which is not consensual where a child is...
um being molested against their will, it isn't because it's sexual, it's because of the
nature of... it's not the sex itself which is harmful."
"And here's another excerpt from something, I don't know what: 'one of the reasons
children do not report sex abuse is that their parents have usually made it abundantly
clear by their behavior that they don't like talking about sex or interpersonal problems
the child is having and the children are able to guess what kind of news might make
their parents go off on them, kids hate it when their parents flip out for good reason.
Also people learn very early in life to manage information, little Johnny doesn't tell his
folks what he did that got him in trouble if it can be at all avoided and children are likely
to assume that an unpleasant experience is their fault in some way, another reason to
not 'fess up.'"
"And I say, why is it considered that the sexuality is what harms them, rather than the
actual abuse as distinct from sexuality and in cases of molestation? And the association
with someone who has psychopathic behavior and is actually harming them, it's not...
it's not the sex. It's possible for children to be in loving relationships where they engage
in sexual activity, I don't see what's so... so strange about that."
"I talk about how the data is distorted... in um, regarding the harm which sex causes, the
various factors why all of the studies pretty much are biased. Like, um, instances of
rape and molestation being conflated with instances of consensual activity and
non-consensual instances are more likely to be revealed to authorities, and... there's a
good quote: 'sexuality is not a matter of violence', it really isn't."
"Another excerpt from something: adult panic or a [???] young people seeking pleasure
for themselves is responsible for much of the trauma that minors experience when
they're caught behaving inappropriately for their ages, even in a consensual context.' So
quite the contrary, I don't think I am encouraging the kind of behavior that some priests,
a few priests in the Catholic church have been practicing, rather I think I'm arguing for
an [???] and an attitude opposite to what the, to what began in the Catholic church
which would be more protective of children."
"Where the literature suggests that negative consequences of short or long-term nature
occur as a result of child-adult sexual contacts, it is found that the consequences are
generally associated with three common factors: the first relates to a situation where
physical force, coercion or psychological pressure is used, the most adverse reactions
occur when physical violence is involved, especially when the child attempts to resist
but is unsuccessful. The second negative consequence occurs when poor
communications exist in the child's family, sexual matters cannot be discussed openly
and the child receives or anticipates receiving strongly negative reactions to disclosure
of sexual activities. The third relates to a situation where there's little sexual knowledge
on the part of the child or alternatively, where the child has absorbed parental values
suggesting that sex is dirty, painful or frightening."
Title: "On Pedophiles and Children (Part 5/8)"
Date: October 14, 2011
Adam Lanza: "'But even when the last two conditions exist, the effects, the research
would suggest are nowhere near as traumatic as popular folklore would have it. The
response of the criminal justice system, both to the victim and the offender, in adult-child
cases is counterproductive. We've already seen that the older male is treated with
contempt by both the police and the courts and little sympathy is shown toward the way
he will be treated in prison. Similarly, the young male's treatment bears a remarkable
similarity to that received by incest victims. In both pedophilia and incest, considerable
distress to the boy or girl occurs when parents, relatives or the police themselves
discover the relationship. Constant and often insensitive questioning adds to this
distress and it is not unusual to find that many researchers have noted far more
damages caused by the confrontation the child has with his parents or the legal
authorities than by the act itself.'"
(video cut)
"I'm sorry, I had to take a break. My... throat is really starting to bother me, I'm not used
to yelling so loudly. Um, where was I... 'in the case of pedophiles as opposed to, for
example, parents, it is assumed that any disparities and inequities in power between the
adult and the child would be exercised by the adult malevolently. In reality, however,
many pedophiles are patently well-disposed toward their partners and take the role of
loving teachers, [???] parents or simply close friends.' Clarence Osborne, I must've
gotten this from 'A Man They Called a Monster'... 'often epitomized, the benevolence
that exists in pedophile relationships because, in many respects, he displays the
interest shown by their parents, in short it is a myth to assume that pedophiles
necessarily use their greater experience and power in a destructive way.'"
"'An associated myth concerns the very common view that children, that the child is
traumatized and socially and sexually, seriously damaged. We have dealt with this point
at length in the past chapters, but it is well worth reiterating that the evidence simply
does not support these assumptions, in the short run the studies suggest that the
problems with partners of pedophiles often flow from the reactions of parents and
officials who respond to the news of their sons' relationships with such horror that it
elevates the significance of the events in the child's life.'"
"'Even in the study showing the worst possible result, in a sample of 333 victims, only
5% of the victims had what [???] called damaged adult lives. Even here though,
damaged adult lives is a vague term and diverse causes of the damage besides the
pedophile relationship can be possible. As [???] perceptively points out, one obvious
problem with this stereotyping of pedophiles and the consequent myths that arise as a
result of these stereotypes is that the myths and stereotypes usually direct us to look
only at the behavior of men. Similar activities when performed when...' Uh, this goes into
the... well I'll read this."
"'Similar activities when performed by women such as cuddling, caressing, touching and
stroking children are socially acceptable but for a man to engage in such contact is
inviting the label of a pedophile or and possibly risking imprisonment. The stereotypes
surrounding pedophiles erect a sexist myth and that myth is that only men have intimate
physical relationships with children. The myth conveniently ignores the fact that women
often engage in similar sexual behavior and therefore perpetuates two common views.
The first is that men should not do this but women can, and the second that any man
who does this is deeply disturbed. But by perpetuating these myths we conveniently
forget that children have sexual needs and emotional components that are
well-documented by contemporary psychology.' (laughter) I think this book was written
in... uh, at least 20 years ago and... it's so sad."
"'The very barriers that we put between ourselves and pedophiles are in a sense the
same barriers that we put between ourselves as parents and our children. With both
groups we prefer to stereotype them: pedophiles are monsters, children are innocent.
And in this way avoid realities that we would otherwise be forced to face. When the
study in question has an in-built methodological bias toward producing figures which
make the proportion of molestations look artificially high.'"
"Oh, um, I just... that wasn't a sentence, I just took that from some place else because it
sounded so true. Oh, this, um... 'it should always be borne in mind, as stated earlier,
that these findings like so many research data are based on offenses which have
resulted in a conviction and are thereby heavily biased towards relationships which
gave rise to complaint by the child' I mean, Clarence Osborne, even a pathological
pedophile which I'm not talking about, but even someone like him he had sex with over
two-thousand children over a period of 20 years... and he wasn't reported because the
relationship was consensual."
"And so as, only when a mother overheard her child saying to his sibling that, talking
about the sex that he was found out and subsequently committed suicide in standard
pedophile fashion. Um... not... oh, not all of those involved in the prosecution process
are that dogmatic, thank goodness. In a letter to the Times, a police sergeant of 25
years standing echoed Ingraham's[?] feelings by pronouncing that legal proceedings in
most pedophilic cases do the child even more harm than good and he was honest and
courageous enough to admit that the examinations of children he had been obliged to
conduct over the years contributed much towards this harm."
"And I have a note to myself, think of it intuitively, imagine the position of a child who's
family just found out that, found out about sexual activity he had with an adult, the
father's pacing around yelling that he's going to kill the adult, the mother's crying
hysterically, the siblings are afraid to treat the child normally. Subsequently all sorts of
strangers begin interrogating the child over and over, other children treat him like a
freak, doctor's examine them against their will, if they hadn't been raped by the adult
they are most certainly raped by the doctor. Everyone is constantly treating the child
differently, he's under constant supervision."
"If the adult gets out on bail while the legal process begins, the child is forcibly moved to
a far location, even if the adult liked the child and the child liked the adult, he is
incessantly compelled to... testify against him and is forbidden from associating with him
again. The court process takes an unimaginable amount of time during which the child
keeps getting interrogated by many different strangers. Psychiatrists and the rest of
society tells the child that he has sustained something unimaginably horrible, the child is
under the impression that sexuality is something absolutely evil and that they are
terrible for having participated in it, and it will be said that the sexual activity is what
harmed the child rather than the obscene response of the child's society. All of this is
done under the pretense of protecting children, who really need protection from the
people who profess to be acting in their interest."
"More tangents... here's a quote from something: there's an assumption that sexuality is
something very grave for children and that they will be harmed if they engage in it,
because of the way that their society treats sexuality, children end up developing issues
regarding it. And just basically more repetition... children wouldn't be scarred by their
voluntary sexual experiences any more than an adult in typical sexual relationships
would be scarred unless their society shamed them into believing that they should feel
guilty."
"Here's a good paragraph: some might argue that children should not be free to
determine their own values when it comes to sexuality or perhaps they should not even
have a need for information pertaining to it because sex destroys their childhood
innocence, and I took a quote from somewhere... a very nice quote that: what does
innocence mean other than enforced ignorance? (laughter) That sums it up."
"It is the societally sanctioned notion which is thrust upon children independent of their
will, when people are appalled about the idea of exposing children to information about
sexuality using such trite slogans as 'let kids be kids' all I can hear is let us force our
societal notions onto these people who may not live in any other way than the way
we've decided for them. The notion of the society protecting the innocence of children
by preventing them from engaging in sexuality is no different than a notion of protecting
females from engaging in pre-marital sex. We can't allow our dear women, with their
dainty, purely untarnished minds to be exposed to such base and immoral matters as
sex, it would fluster their poor hearts and corrupt their very soul, we must outlaw their
pre-marital sex for their own good."
"(sigh) So instead of... outlawing pre-marital sex for their good, you should allow to do
whatever the fuck they want and the same applies to age of consent laws. You aren't
trying to protect women by telling them they can't have sex because they can't handle it,
you're just... it's obvious that there's a system of property rights set up around them. I
mean, there was, I don't want to get into that, this ties into feminism very well but it's
kind of irrelevant."
"Oh and I go on to say: if protecting children is something which is genuinely important
to you, then you should be eager to inform children about sexuality in an honest
manner. This notion of innocence is the potential to accomplish the exact opposite of
what adults intend, imagine a case in which a little girl is sitting in her uncle's lap, the
uncle fondles her genitalia against her will, information about her genitalia which she
only knows as her naughty [???] was viewed by her parents as being so dirty for a child
that they never mentioned anything about it. In a house where sexuality is a topic which
everyone acts nervous around whenever it is remotely referenced, it's to be expected
that the little girl would never mention her adult to anyone, her uncle to anyone, she
would be too worried about getting into trouble for the matter because she would
imagine that her molestation was her fault and that she was being naughty."
"Meanwhile she continues to get molested every time her uncle sees her because her
parents were afraid of destroying her childhood innocence. She would've been better off
in preventing her uncle from molesting her if she had even the faintest information about
sexuality, instead of being kept ignorant about it and having parents who are terrified of
the topic. The best way you can prevent children from being molested is informing them
about sexuality so that they're able to identify it."
"And... then I go on to appeal to rights...and, here's the good section: some people
might say 'why are you so persistent about this? you do not see children picketing in the
streets for a right to sex, why force self-determination onto them?' First I could contest
the notion that children do not want to have sex, I could highly contest that notion, but I
will grant it. If this were actually the case then it would be no different than slaves in the
pre-Civil War United States sycophantically approving of their situation. They would
believe that their slave-owners have bestowed a positive economic benefit upon them
and they're happy to live the way they are, after all they receive free food and free
housing in exchange for their obedience, but whatever slaves desire is completely
irrelevant. Particularly when it is the passively default position they were told as the
consequence of their indoctrination."
"I'm not saying that someone could not be temporarily enslaved if that's what they
personally desire, what I want to offer to children... the, I don't know what word to use, I
just put it in parentheses, I'm not sure... for some, sometimes there were just these
words that I can't remember, and I said 'modern/eternal/atavistic/continued from a long
time ago slaves. Children who are those slaves, the eternal slaves. Oh, what is that
word? Oh nevermind..."
"Is the choice to be free, with them personally deciding if they want to be. I wouldn't
need to demonstrate a slave's desire to be free, all that I would need to do is allow them
to have the option of attaining freedom, the same applies to children. And... if a child
wants to engage in sexual behavior, I do not need to dismissively contrive mental illness
classifications, all I need to do is allow them to live their lives as they desire."
"It is unimportant to me whether or not there is a single child who ends up deciding to
have sex, I do not profess to know whether or not they should or should not have sex, I
just want control over their life to be a personal option to them and I want everyone to
be seen as people instead of society contriving classes of sub-humans. As a pedophile
said, which is from 'Chicken Hawk' which is a pretty cool documentary although it's...
extremely biased, it still had... it still had faint glitters of truth. And it said um, the
pedophile said: 'I just want to be able to walk down Fifth Avenue and see adults and
children mingled together.' Here I say, despite the impression all of this might leave, I
care very little about children's rights to sex, actually I don't care at all."
"I am concerned with the entirety of children's rights, I so heavily emphasize pedophilia
as it applies to the lives of children for a similar reason as to why feminists of the 19th
century were so adamant about female sexuality. I actually kinda made that up because
I don't really know much about feminism but I'm pretty sure that's why they're so
adamant about female sexuality. I was going to research feminism more and... confirm
that and tie everything into it. Um, but people would say 'how dare you compare
pedophiles to feminists, it's so absurd!' I write this as clearly as I can and people think
I'm... they say, I say that you're expressing bigotry, you think you're so... egalitarian by
talking about how homosexuality is, homosexuals shouldn't be persecuted, but you do
the exact same thing to pedophiles and when I point that out they seem to think that I'm
saying that homosexuals are bad and pedophiles are bad."
"What I'm saying is that you're bigoted, and the same applies to this whole feminism
thing. I'm not saying that pedophiles are feminists, I'm saying that... if you're a feminist
and you oppose pedophiles you are a bigot. Pedophilia isn't a bad thing, despite what
you say. And somehow I'm only... (laughter) somehow it's been like an hour and I've
only gotten halfway through this file. I'm not sure what else I said because it's pretty
close to the end of... what I remember typing."
Title: "On Pedophiles and Children (Part 6/8)"
Date: October 14, 2011
Adam Lanza: "I say the illegalization of childhood sexuality combines all of the issues
which affect child's - children's lives, to serve as oppression to representation of their
subjection, pedophilia is a prominent manifestation of childhood sexuality which
combines all of the issues which affect children's lives. I know that sentence is
incoherent but I was just typing this as a note to myself. Pedophilia undermines an
atavistic societal opposition toward sexuality and it combines it with the subversion of
adult authority."
"Oh, here, heh, um, pedophile... if pedophilic relationships were condoned then it would
be a recognition of the rights of children would serve a small step towards liberating
them from the oppression of the adults that own them. Yes, I was such a moralizer back
then, just ignore that. I talk about how this is a double-sided issue unlike with female
sexual liberation because the lives of pedophiles are also heavily impacted by the
oppression of children. Pedophilia is an issue which cements two issues, the oppression
of children and the destruction of the lives of adults who love children, both of which
concern me."
"It explains the bi-polar way in which this is written because both of these distinct issues
are heavily intertwined. Then I made some prescriptions, which is just a [???]"
"More irrelevance... more moralizing... here I talk about how parental rights are actually
just slaveholder's rights. It's such a bizarre delusion, where people think that they have
parental rights, I mean of course there are no rights at all but... people think that, uh,
parents rights are slaveholder's rights I'll just leave it at that."
"Children being people with their own legitimate thoughts, feelings and desires deserve
the same rights that adults receive, instead they're currently nothing other than the
subhuman property of adults who have free reign to do whatever they please with them.
It's quite ironic that everyone views pedophiles as manipulating children, with everyone
being unable to observe what they themselves do to the children. And that's why I care
about this topic so much."
"Scrolling down, scrolling down... [???] note, it's... from Chicken Hawk, there are two
pedophiles who explained why they... what they find attractive about young boys. And,
no they didn't say 'I'd like to bite off little kid's cocks and I like to kill them afterward', of
course they wouldn't say anything like that you bigots. Um, one of them said...'He's just
like a flower in bloom, he's at that perfect stage in which he's hermaphroditic, that is to
say he is neither all-male nor all-female, not that anybody is of course, everybody is
some mixture of those two characteristics, but he's at the moment in that wonderful
limbo between being a child and an adolescent, that is he is certainly an adolescent at
this point but he still has this soft feminine grace about him' he was talking about a 12 or
13 year old boy."
"And... another pedophile said 'I would try it by saying that it's the freshness of their
minds, the [???] of their bodies, the way in which they move, they act, they're graceful' I
mean it, it's like... it sounds like a male, a typical male describing a typical female and
you wouldn't say that that male is... objectifying the female and manipulating her. It's just
what they're attracted to."
"It's not pathological, it's love. (laughter) Which is pathological in some sense but I won't
get into that. And it's talking more about how governments institute... um, slavery of
children. Talking about how... uh, this is irrelevant. More statistics, especially Kinsey[?], I
don't know, I don't even want to get into this. I mean what am I even supposed to say to
these people?"
"I remember, here I have um... I was thinking of asking on a forum, if a Muslim were to
say that a female would be harmed if she let anyone see her skin, you said that I
needed evidence to prove otherwise... how could I disprove his claim? And I was going
to ask that on a forum to mask my actual question because people would say 'you can't
prove it' and I would say, I would ask, how can I disprove his claim that any... any harm
that comes, psychological harm which comes to a female is a consequence of exposing
any of her skin, is a consequence of her culture and is not something innate, and I
would ask, I mean, I guess the only thing I could do is offer anthropological evidence
which suggests otherwise, but I mean what else can you do?"
"So I have some of that... surprisingly, not always, it's not always been that people think
that children having sex is [???] evil. More tangents... they're not really tangents it's just
that they don't directly... relate to this topic of 'consent is not really consent it's statutory
rape'. I got this quote from someone: 'When we protect children we prevent them from
having [???] information and experiences, we may justify doing so in order to promote a
particular notion of the good life, have long-term relationships, fall in love, have a family,
been more successful, have a better mental health, in your words. We lie to them and
lock them up for their own good, but really it's for our own good, it's our conception of
the good, all your examples are euphemisms for pursuing a particular kind of life that
many in fact find to be very immoral by some standards. Mutual sexuality, output,
contracts, repro- reproduction, achieving high social status and behaving in a
predictable manner do not seem to be goals so universally honorable, we justify
denying 13 to 18 year olds control of their own bodies.' Oh, actually I think that I took
this from... a transcript of a radio discussion between Judith Levin[?] and some
pedophobe, I actually haven't read her book, I couldn't find it with a cursory search
online."
"And, um... although she is talking about teenagers. I don't know how anyone could
question that teenagers are capable of consenting to sex, how can you say that a 13
year old can't have sex? I mean, what the fuck? Here's a quote: 'Statutory rape laws
encode the outdated and sexist idea that a woman's virginity must be protected for her
father's sake and that she herself can never desire on her own.' Levin argues. So I
guess I did get this from her."
"It's so true... and more talking about how the criminal justice system then, according to
this argument, is not primarily concerned with the safety of the child at all, but with the
safety of the family structure and the maintenance of private property. I don't know why
more anarchists don't, um, talk about pedophilia. Still scrolling down."
"Elaborating some points... more feminism stuff. Can a child understand the
consequences of traveling in a car? It is impossible for them to understand the
possibility of them getting into a car wreck and understand how automobiles operate
and all of that, how can they - how can they have informed consent to take the risk? But
no one cares what children think about getting into automobiles, even though they're
infinitely more harmful to children than pedophilia ever has been. They just throw them
in and think that everything's fine."
"More appeal to emotion... more elaboration... (laughter) talking about this whole 'but if,
but if pedophiles are attracted to children, the children will eventually grow up and the
pedophiles will no longer be attracted to them' (laughter) That argument is so ridiculous
for so many reasons. Here's a quote from that: 'But there's no need whatever for a child
to know the consequences of engaging in harmf- harmless sex play because it's simply
that, it's harmless.' At the moment children are trained to not refuse adults' anything and
to accept all forms of physical affection as being the right of an adult to impose on a
child, that's completely true. I never... I never, never um consented to being touched by
anyone in my family, but why would they care?"
"They didn't touch me sexually, it's just the normal hugging, kissing thing. (exasperated
sigh) I never consented to that and yet they don't care. Talking about hypocrisy... oh,
and people saying 'children aren't slaves, I mean there are laws protecting children from
being beaten too hard' and that's like saying that there might be some inane laws which
prevent you from beating your slaves too greatly but that doesn't change the
fundamental relationship of the master-slave relationship."
"Ooh, talking about the Martin E. Muller[?] quote or whoever he is, this is really good I
don't know why I put this in.. with the stereotypes section. There is that quote about first
they came for the trade-unions, the comm - I think it was, the Communists, then the
trade-unionists then the Jews and then they came for me and there was no one left to
speak for me. People use that quote saying... with the intention of implying that you
shouldn't just be passive, you should... act on what you believe is right. And I say how
that's, that's really not the best application of that quote because Martin E. Muller
himself was an anti-Communist who thought it was justified to treat them the way the
Nazis were."
"He was, uh, it's not that he... didn't think, it's not that he was... apathetic, he was, he
thought it was actually justified and in the same way Christians during the Middle Ages
didn't somehow know in the back of their mind that persecuting blasphemers was wrong
if they didn't care enough to do anything about the issue. They genuinely believed that
blasphemy warranted floggings, imprisonments and murders. There was no apathy
involved in that."
"The highly influential theologian Thomas [???] illustrated this belief by saying that
heretics, by right, can be put to death and despoiled of their possessions by the secular
authorities even if they do not corrupt others, for they are blasphemers against God,
because they observe a false faith, thus they can be justly punished even more than
those accused of high treason. The harm which the Christian persecutors inflicted was
not caused by apathy but by a malevolent perspective. (laughter) I'll be right back, I
should save this file before the computer crashes or something like that."
(video cut)
"Okay, hopefully that saved properly... I go on to say that simultaneously every
generation believes that they are lucky enough to be living in a society which is the most
enlightened of all history. And I'm saying that we think we're so enlightened... when,
people think that we're fundamentally different from anyone who lived hundreds of years
ago but we're not. We haven't had some metaphysical comprehension of everything that
prior people were incapable of understanding, and I say because of all of this, we could
easily just be as bigoted as um... as the Christians were who treated blasphemers the
way they did in the Middle Ages. We easily could be Nazis. I'm surprised I actually said
this because I believed in morality when I was even writing this, I mean I still believed in
morality so... even I was cognoscente of this whole... all of this whole 'we are bigots'
thing."
"Um, and I say that... that Martin E. Muller, however you pronounce his name, quote
isn't, it shouldn't be used applying to apathy, saying 'we need to stop the persecution of
X group' that quote should indicate to us that we should be asking ourselves, who is X
group? And I say you can ask yourself if the treatment of pedophiles is genuinely
nothing other than the correct way to deal with them or if this is yet another unseen
incarnation of Communists, trade-unionists and Jews."
Title: "On Pedophiles and Children (Part 7/8)"
Date: October 14, 2011
Adam Lanza: "Oh, here's a good point, this thing about, okay, let's say children are
completely asexual and they don't have any desires for sex. Why would that indicate
that it's abusive for them to engage in it? Let's say that there's some child who doesn't
like football at all, he has no interest in it, but there's this adult he likes and for whatever
reason, he agrees to... um play football with the adult. Even though the child has no
interest in it. How is that abusive? It's just, I mean it's just... the child who likes the adult
going along with the ride because they like associating with the adult and it isn't harmful
at all but somehow when it comes to sex... even if the child had absolutely no interest in
it, and they could not enjoy it at all, it's somehow dangerous. And even if they have no
interest in it, it's pretty fucking obvious that they can enjoy it. It's pretty obvious that they
do have an interest."
"Even though society tries to suppress it. And tangents about this whole... 'because
adults are too experienced' I mean, I'm... I have absolutely no experience, whatever that
means. I mean the most I've done is, when I was 13, holding several girls' hands for an
English school dance, an English play dance or something, a dance for a play. So a 13
year old who has had sex has more experience than I do because I'm an ultra-virgin. So
would that be saying that a 13 year old who has had sex would somehow be
manipulating me because I don't have any experience? Whatever that means.
(laughter) It's so ridiculous."
"There's no manipulation going on. I'm reading through something, this might... I don't
know where I got this from but it sounds like it might be good. Um, maybe not. Basically
just that the child, I want the child to have the ability to say no. That's what this all
comes down to. Children, as of right now, don't have the ability to say no. (sigh) This is
so crazy."
"Oh and I talk about how, um, fewer than 10 percent of child molesters who are, fewer
than 10 percent of reported child molesters are actually classified as true pedophiles.
Um... multiple sources back this up. The vast majority of offenders are non-pedophiles
who've had, been driven to offend by their personal situations. For example, situational
offending is particularly common in crimes of incest involving children, possible causes
include the removal or disablement of adult partners and the unavailability of alternative
adults. So when people are talking about child molestation, almost always it's not even
a pedophile who's doing the molestation. And I'm not talking about those situations, I'm
not talking about actual abuse, I'm talking about loving sex. Loving anything."
"(laughter) Talking more about this fucking... you - you can't decide anything for yourself
until you're 25 years old because your frontal lobe will be developed then. More
information about... uh... talking about how pedophiles very rarely engage in anything. I
mean pedophilia isn't innately more harmful than heterosexuality, I mean would you say
the relationship between a male and a female is fundamentally harmful just because
there are some males who are raping children - I mean, some males who are raping
adults. And just because there's some males who rape - some males who - pedophiles,
pedophile rapists are not anymore prevalent among pedophiles... well actually I don't
have a statistic to back this up but basically, the prevalence of rapists among pedophiles
can be compared to the prevalence of rapists among heterosexual adults."
"Just because it's - why do I have to say this in so many different ways? I'm saying the
same thing over and over again. (laughter) I got this quote from someone, I think this
was a forum discussion or something and the person, the pedophobe was saying 'your
arguments will only come into play once children themselves start asking for sex, I've
not heard a single one making such requests.' And the anti-pedophobe responded: 'And
the female half of Saudi Arabia aren't shouting from rooftops for equal rights either,
why? Because both them and Western children have been excluded and alienated from
the civil rights discourse.'"
"Talking more about this 'but children grow up and pedophiles won't be attracted to
them' (sigh) [???] so don't want to get into why that's fallacious in so many ways, it's
really a subject of an entire different essay."
"Oh yeah and, I talk about how even if there isn't a single child to initiate sex with the
adult, and it's always the adult who initiates sex with the child, why is that relevant?
Would you say that it's somehow harmful that 100% of males initiate sex with females or
would you say that... there's no abuse going on at all? I mean, just because males tend
to initiate the sex. Sex is not synonymous with violence. Culture is synonymous with
violence."
"(laughter) Oh man... there's so much about this whole, um child-Satanic ritual abuse
that went on in the 1980s and such. Even in the '90s and... that by itself indicates that all
of this is just hysteria. That, that whole topic is the subject of 5 essays, oh man."
"Just think about the way that the [???] adult study was taken, I mean the way that
people reacted to it. And it should really indicate what's going on here, I mean Congress
denounced... um I don't remember the exact [???] but I'm pretty sure that Congress
officially denounced the study which indicated that um... uh, I don't want to go into it but
basically that sex uh... I don't know how to summarize it. Basically the harm... harm is
not prevalent as a consequence of even non-consensual sexual... actually (exasperated
sigh) just forget it."
"I mean there was no discourse which resulted in the conclusion that sex is harmful for
children, it's just bigots shouting that sex is horrible for children and suppressing any
dissent. There's never been any conversation which led to this conclusion and no one
allows there to be any conversation that leads to this conclusion."
Title: "On Pedophiles and Children (Part 8/8)"
Date: October 14, 2011
Adam Lanza: "Oh I think I'm getting into that post - at the end, this post-Modernist guy
talking about it. He says: 'psychological statistics are whirled out by both sides - the
pedophiles cite [???] as proof that intergenerational sexuality is harmless, while the
pedophobes' (laughter) He uses the same term, I forgot that he used the same term, I
personally like that pedophobe term. 'Pedophobes cite their studies, the simple fact is
sometimes intergenerational relationships work given the right people and times and
culture, other times they're a disaster, there's plenty of believable testimony for both
perspectives and heaps of statistics of either two, it depends on the situation, not big
doctrinal categories, it depends on love' and it really does."
"It's not about all of this... external stuff, it's just about the love. And he was talking about
how consensual, loving relationships do not result in mental illnesses, there's no
indication that they do. He was talking about pedophilia in the animal kingdom but that's
kind of irrelevant. Oh, and he says: 'the single biggest killer of children in the developed
world is automobiles, automobiles are much more dangerous than sex, the automobile
is untouchable and can never be criticized, therefore it is necessary to identify other
causes of harm to children that are less essential to the production of Capitalism,
anyone can see that in ancient Greece, the Pacific Islands or reclusive religious sects
that practiced pedophilia as a normal act of their functions' I bungled a lot of words in
that, but basically there are these societies that... had sex as a normal part of their
functional society."
"'Child-love is a convenient target for the statist media to demonize as it keeps people's
attentions away from real structural issues in society.' Pedophile outrage in Salem, and
after this message from our sponsors, funny cats. And he was talking about societies
where... children can have knowledge about sex and somehow not be mentally ill. How
could that work? That sounds so insane..."
"Oh and there's this whole, um what do they call it? I think [???] competency test...
there's already this framework for determining whether or not children can consent and
people just dismiss their consent, they don't even try to take it into account. I think I've
said this 500 times by now. And... talking about what am I supposed to understand
before having sex, at what point am I ready? Because really what - at what point am I
ready? I don't - I don't, what milestone are people talking about where it's somehow
okay to have sex?"
"At least if they were appealing to purity they would at least, it would at least make some
semblance of sense but I don't even know what people are talking about with their age
of consent. I mean, I don't... I don't feel any different regarding, I wouldn't have thought
of sex any differently when I was 5 years old than I think of it now. I mean what's
supposed to change? I d- I've never heard anyone address that. There is no defined
transcendence. And there's no memo, there's nothing."
"And he says 'it's a self-fulfilling prophecy that kept other groups down before, rational
people actually judged slaves and women to be inferior, they weren't but the diminutive
attitude taken towards them creates an inferiority, adult peers would never talk to one
another in the condescending way that they talk to kids.'"
"And this whole thing about doctors... isn't it strange how pretty much 100% of children
have their genitals at one point or another fondled by a doctor, but no one seems to
think that causes mental illnesses? Even though the child did not remotely consent to
that happening. I mean... the parents just say 'here, fondle my child's genitals' and
surprisingly it never ends up being harmful psychologically to the children, yet if the
child were in a loving pedophilic relationship, if the child were in a loving relationship
with a pedophile, somehow once they engage in mutual masturbation somehow at that
point it becomes evil and harmful."
"But when doctors molest children, nothing happens and everyone's completely fine.
This is pretty much the end of it. Um, someone in the topic, it wasn't the same guy, it
was someone else talking about him... he, well, his grammar was kind of weird but I'm
fine with that. (laughter) I hate language. So, use whatever grammar you want."
"He said: 'I'm not so sure [???] reasoning is warped, parents can insist on making their
kids do some pretty shitty things, dangerous and mind-destroying things but sex is
somehow worse than worse, sex seems to have a special place in the hearts of most
people, quite low in some even though they enjoyed themselves they cannot
recommend it for anyone else, sex has been termed the fate worse than death for much
of even the 20th century, the idea of sex as worse than death was the popular gestalt.'"
"'Any woman who gave in to sex outside of marriage was fatally flawed but a man who
managed to play around was a real man, sex has never been realistically interpreted or
portrayed, even masturbation is often condemned as harmful in some way. Sex
occupies a special place in a society and the harm it does is blown far out of any
reasonable proportion to any realistic harm it could do. I'm quite sure there are many
things that is illegal and even thought to be good for kids - there are many things it is
legal and even thought to be good for kids that are far more harmful than sex. If society
says it's okay to work kids in the mines because they're small and can fit into the small
holes then it becomes okay to do so but suggest sex and you will be automatically a
pariah.'"
"'You can do some wild stuff to kids and get by with it, from mental abuse to turning
them into psychopaths, you can teach them to hate, to be racist, to despise anyone who
believes differently from you, you can program your kids to do almost anything but have
sex. You can teach them that sex is a fate worse than death, you can teach them that
homosexuals are worthless pieces of shit that deserve to be killed, you can teach them
to be Nazis, but sex is out of the question. Just try to teach your kids that masturbation
is a good thing and let them tell the teachers and see what happens. If you're lucky you
will not quite lose custody but count on visits from the Child Services.'"
"That's pretty much the end of the relevant section, that-that's pretty much the end of...
it's - I know that all of this sounds very inflammatory but, I mean I've sounded
inflammatory regarding this subject because it just seems so insane. It's like I'm trying to
argue against people who assert that God exists and at least, at least in that case I
know that there are other atheists but I mean there's pretty much no one who's
anti-pedophobic. When I was 14 and I first thought about it for the first - when I was 14
and I first thought about pedophilia, I thought... how can you possibly say that
homosexuals are discriminated against but pedophiles aren't?"
"And how can you possibly say that children can't consent to having sex? I mean a few
years ago when I was... 11 I easily could've had sex. And for some reason some people
would even argue that when I was 14 saying those things... they would say that
somehow I was incapable of consenting, that's completely incomprehensible to me.
(sigh)"
"Is this really terrifying as it sounds, there's... voluntarily... voluntary mutual masturbation
between a 5 year old and a 50 year old. It's the same thing between an adult, between
adults doing, it's the same thing that would happen between adults. It's not going to
harm them anymore than it would harm the adults unless the child's culture created an
environment in which they were ignorant of sex and they were manipulated into being
terrified of it."
"The... primary factor in all of this, that determines whether or not sex is harmful, really
depends on their willingness to participate. That's the more important thing than, that's
the most important thing. You're - you're not doing your children a favor when you
dismiss them as being sub-humans, saying that they can't have sex, you're really just
doing yourself a favor."
"And I'm not saying... 'you're evil' as like to [???] I wouldn't say to him, you're evil for
having a child. Although, well I wouldn't say you're evil for having a child even though I
think that's... it's kind of cruel, heh. What I would say to [???] is, just be honest about
what you're doing, having a child... isn't in the child's interest, it's in your interest. The
entire purpose of children is to propagate certain values and of course when one of
those values entails being morally outraged by sex, of course they're going to... be
terrified of it."
"But it's not something that's innately harmful about sex, it's the culture that's causing
the problems. It's the culture which is causing all of these problems. But I'm pretty much
done with this topic, if you're interested in this topic of anti-pedophobia, which I would
argue is even more... infinitely more expansive than feminism ever could be, um... you
can go to... IPCE.info, it has a ton of information on the topic, it's a great website."
"And... I think I've covered everything. Um, if you have any questions I'll try to answer
them, but otherwise I'm... I'm done with this topic. (laughter)"
Title: "Strange Dream #2: Which side of the door, again?"
Date: October 14, 2011
Adam Lanza: "I'm back with another strange dream description...although when I woke
up, I didn't think 'What did I just dream?' I thought 'That's exactly how I feel' even though
I guess the other one sort of applied in that sense too, but anyway..."
"This part of the dream, I didn't go through, I just knew it has the background.
Apparently I had been at a high school and the previous day there had been a... an
assembly about how terrible of... there'd been an assembly about how terrible of a
person that I am. And... everything like that and how much everyone should hate me."
"And so, the next day I came in - into the school of course it, again it wasn't my real high
school it was a fictional layout along with fictional people. And I went up the stairs
thinking how much I hated everything about the place and entered a hallway, and
wouldn't you know there's the principal walking down the hallway, he sees me. The
principal comes up to me and grabs me and says: 'Hi there, Smig, I wanna talk to you
for a minute.' And I say that I just wanna go to class and I don't want any trouble.
Basically I was saying that kind of thing."
"And... he said 'No, I wanna know what you thought about yesterday's assembly' and I
basically expressed that it was... just slander and uh... that he was just being a jerk. And
he was saying: 'I don't like your attitude' or something like that 'Why don't you come with
me to my office?' and he was pulling me down the hallway, down to his office where
there were some other students and there was a bench and he said: 'Wait here, I need
to deal with some other students first' so I waited there, and he went into his office."
"And I had a short conversation with another student I think, and um, I entered the
principal's office intending to get... intending to withdraw immediately and there were a
ton of students in there for all manner of reasons. I said to him that I wanted the
withdrawal papers because I was going to be leaving that second, and he was mocking
me and he was skirting around the issue."
"He picked up what I thought was, um, my withdrawal papers and he was - he wasn't
giving me to them, giving them to me so I eventually just grabbed them and he said:
'Look at how violent this guy is, those weren't even his paper, they belonged to this
person over here.' So he grabbed them back and gave them to that person and
continued saying how terrible of a person I am."
"And then he picked up my actual withdrawal papers and... I couldn't get them from
them - get them from him. I told him how much of a dickhead he was and (laughter) I
think I kicked him or something and all of the other students were cheering. I grabbed
the papers and ran out of the room and it was apparently the end of the school day
because there were masses of children trying to leave and it was difficult trying to get
through all of them, so I was going down the stairwell and I accidentally, um, like
knocked a hat and a bag away from some female student and... I picked them up and
gave them back to her and apologized profusely saying that I had to leave very quickly."
"So I got down to the bottom of the stairwell and all of the students magically
disappeared, you know how they do that in dreams. Sometimes they do that in real life
too but I don't like to talk about that. There were several doors that I could take in the
hallway that I was in, that could lead outside. So I tested one door, I opened it and saw
that there were bars across... the outside staircase, and so I started to worry that I
wasn't going to be able to escape."
"So I started running down the hallway, and this is probably one of only... maybe at
most, 5 times in my life that I've had this happen to me, but I was running in slow-motion
trying to get out of there. And there were - at the end of the hallway, there was some
teacher opening - holding the door that I could leave out of, open. Trying to mock me.
And they were closing it and opening it again and closing it and opening it again, and
once I got close enough they let go of the door to let it swing shut and subsequently lock
and walked away."
"But... they were unaware that it was the kind of door where it begins to close quickly
and then in the last foot it slows down. So, um... I was able to grab it in the last few
seconds and open it and escape from the building. It's pretty funny when you think
about that dream... you would expect someone of my personality to be dreaming about
how horrible other students were to me and that I was being bull - that I had nightmares
about being bullied as a child. But I never was bullied by other students. And in my
dream I had nothing but sympathy for the other students, in real life the bullies are the
adults."
"Who would try to... impose culture. And so of course in my dreams, I have nightmares
about things like my parents, or school, or the police, or government, or really anything
like that. Anywhere where I'm a child and there are adults around. (sigh) So... all of that
'it gets better' nonsense, no it doesn't get better. It just gets to the point where you have
the chance to... rape children just as you were raped by culture and I don't really want to
do that so I guess it's not going to get better, in my perception."
Title: "Done with YouTube"
Date: October 21, 2011
Adam Lanza: "I hadn't cared enough about life to pursue anything but I hadn't cared
enough about death to kill myself, so I had just been spending a lot of time moping and I
thought why not participate on YouTube? That way I can fulfill my desire to express my
hatred for culture and what it's done to me and as I said in... my video about, from about
a week ago, there isn't really anything left for me to say, um, regarding what culture is.
Because it is such a simple concept and when I'm talking about culture I'm really talking
about life so I don't really have to expand on that."
"And... now that I've fulfilled that desire, all that's left to do here is to listen to videos and
it's been kind of amusing listening to the anti-life rants of other people, but I've never
really enjoyed them that much and I just continue to listen to them as an alternative to
moping on the floor. Um, but... I - I haven't - eh, I never really got anything out of them
and now all of this has just gotten boring and this might seem like inopportune timing
because [???] just had his big deconversion so it might seem as if the same thing has
happened to me but that's not the case at all."
"I've always dismissed the Efilists as being moralizers, the first minute that I saw [???] I
knew that he was just a moralizer and I've dismissed the anti-natalists here as such in
multiple places, multiple times. I remember I explicitly called them black balloon chasers
once, actually I'll find that quote. (clicking sounds) And this is just one of them. There
have been[?] quite a few... I really should have gotten this beforehand, shouldn't I?"
"Um... I'm not sure where it was. I think it was right before the... 'A Clarification' video
from Tranquil87[?], here it is, I complete - oh, it was in a video where Tranquil87[?] was
saying that to exist is an act of faith, any difference is superficial, to decide to stay alive
is to say the same - is to stay the same as anyone else. An opponent of the truth, a
deluded animal like many anti-natalists call human beings, yet do not identify
themselves as such because of their precepts. [???] Issuing a separation is a simple
need for dominance, an illusion for the so-called ego game you have chosen to stay
involved in, you're not above the maze looking at it like Gary[?] thinks he is, but very
well inside it. With enough data to believe that it's a maze but still running around unable
to get out."
"And my comment was: 'I completely agree, I'll kill myself whenever I stop being a
coward, I'm an anti-natalist not because of its being the right position to have, but only
because I am alive and thus am still deluded by value. It's irritating how the anti-natalists
here are moralizers who treat suffering as transcendently mattering, so they must live to
prevent others from going through this. They don't recognize that they're chasing black
balloons and that they're no different from anyone else who's ever lived.' And I posted
that two weeks ago."
"And I actually hadn't seen his... response because um, I get kind of nervous on the
Internet with looking up things after I've typed something. But I guess there's no reason
for me to have done that because he said I was very honest and thanking me. I just
imagine that he's going - well not him, but just anyone whenever I type anything is going
to be chastising me, trying to rape their own values onto me."
"Because that's what culture has done to me, I'm afraid of social interaction. Well not
really social interaction, I have no problem with that it's just that... I imagine it as
(laughter) isn't this supposed to be a video of me saying that I'm leaving YouTube
instead of explaining things further?"
"So I'll just, um... yeah that's what I'm supposed to be doing here. And now that I've
fulfilled my black balloon desire by expressing my hatred for culture in my videos and
these redundant anti-life videos have just become boring, there isn't really a point in
staying here. And the same applies to all videos on YouTube, basically... all of this is just
boring to me now and all of this YouTube stuff is just more cultural delusion and now
that my, um - now that the permutation of my cultural delusion has changed such that I
no longer find any value in any of this, there's no point in me continuing to fulfill that
desire."
"And I know that made no sense but... I don't particularly care. And unlike
HeroinChurch[?] I want to emphasize that I'm not rejecting anything I've said in any of
my prior videos. You can sum me up by the one statement: everything is delusion."
"I predictably like the life is suffering video, meaning does exist and it's endemic to life
but all of meaning is... invariably suffering and meaning, uh, well suffering is life
affirming and life is suffering and all of that fun stuff. It's just a big clusterfuck of
delusion. So, what - what am I going to do now, you ask?"
"Um, well, I still don't care enough about dying to kill myself and even though I
recognize that's my best option I just don't care enough to do it. Um... I guess I'll just
enjoy the weather in the next few weeks and the next month or to the end of this year
because these tend to be the gloomiest months and I enjoy that."
"Once the New Year starts it... begins to snow and everything gets bright again and it's
just awful. I'm going to leave up the video of Coco the Gorilla because it is such a sad
video and... I probably, if I have anymore good ones, will continue to post descriptions
about my allegedly strange dreams which are really just... my description for uh, just a
way to describe how I feel."
"I'm not lying, I actually do have these dreams, it's just that the reason I'm posting them
at all is not so much as a description of a strange dream as a description of what I feel.
And it's - and about that, it's not that, I would be fine if one aspect of culture like school
were removed. The reason why I have nightmares about school and my parents and all
of those things are because they represent what culture is. I'm opposed to all of culture,
to the extent that I oppose language itself."
"And I think that I've explained everything regarding that adequately in my prior videos.
So... goodbye, sort of."
(video cut)
"I forgot to add that there might be one more video, I've been trying to read Mitchell
Heisman's suicide note and if I complete that I'll make a video which includes my
thoughts on it. It's kind of hard to get the motivation to complete it because it's possibly
the most redundant thing I've read in my life, I'm about 300 pages in and I'm not
exaggerating when I say that he could've expressed everything he said so far in maybe
20 pages and maybe that would be a little too long in itself."
"But I do have one preliminary thought to offer and that's that he wasn't delusional, he
was completely lucid. There are a lot of people on the Internet saying that he was - his
reasoning is that of a schizophrenic and that he can't organize his thoughts. And that's
not true, it's easy to understand what he's trying to express, at least so far and the
people who said 'I read halfway through into it and I had to stop reading because it was
just too incoherent' are probably complete liars because they always - they always end
up putting his first line in their post, and that's the only part of it that they address where
he's saying that - that if his hypothesis is correct that his suicide note will be repressed.
Be suppressed, I always get those two mixed up."
"And they say: 'This is evidence that he was a paranoid schizophrenic' (sigh) I don't
even want to get into this, but of course it would be doing that because they're just trying
- they don't care about whatever was in it, they just know that someone killed
themself[sic] and that's not a life-affirming action so they have to denounce it because
that's what their culture demands."
Title: “Strange Dream #3: Door…”
Date: October 21, 2011
Adam Lanza: "This Strange Dream description series seems to have taken on the form
of 'this dream I had illustrates how I feel' which is fine with me because that's more fun
than just strange dream descriptions. Anyway, this dream started with me in a
secondary school library."
"I was photocopying or copying something and it was right before the last class of the
day so I finished what I was doing and I was about to leave the library, and I had 2
homework assignments that I'd completed on the counter in the library. I picked them up
and some adult there told me that I couldn't do that, that I had to - I don't know what
they were telling me to do. And I said, it's fine, they're mine, I just need to get to class.
And the adult followed me out and halfway through the library they stopped me and a
couple of them were inspecting my papers."
"And it turned out that only one of them was actually mine and one of them belonged to
someone else. Heh, this seems to be a recurrent theme but... I can't remember that
actually ever happening in my life, I don't know why I keep bringing that up. But I guess
because it's a way for them to say 'look at how horrible of a person he is' because that's
what they started to say about me."
"I said, um, well I didn't really say much of anything while they were chastising me, the
adults left and came back with a bill. It had included hundreds of dollars for various
things like the photocopying but there was a $2500 dollar fine for... leaving the library
without following the proper procedure or something like that. I said how ridiculous it
was and I was going to contest it to the best of my abilities and that really riled them up."
"They started... yelling at me and I eventually just said fuck this, I'm dropping out of
school, do whatever you want. I started to get up to leave but one of them chased me
and pushed me up against the wall and was screaming at me about how horrible of a
person I was. And something I said must've provoked them into hitting me in the face
because they did that 8 times, and after the eighth time I slugged them - I slugged her in
the face as hard as I possibly could and she backed off. And... started putting on a show
of 'oh I was just doing my job and this brutish criminal hit me' and I was saying, I was
shouting to everyone in the library: oh come on, she hit me in the face 8 times and I hit
her once, how can you possibly say that I'm the criminal here?"
"And I put on my Tyler Clementi spiel about adults being the ones who bully children,
not other children and I eventually just left the library and the dream ended shortly after
that."
Title: "To the pro-culturalists 1/3"
Date: January 28, 2012
Adam Lanza: "I'm really upset right now... I have been, for hours. Earlier I probably
experienced the most rage of my lifetime. Now I'm just... completely enervated and
depressed. And I guess I should explain this... it's, what is it? It's 4:36PM, January 27th,
2012. So it's been four months since I've made a video. Anyway, I'm so upset because
well, I should explain the background for this."
"In December 2011, someone came across my videos and commented on most of
them, just insulting me, not addressing the arguments and the very small amount of
what they said which could be construed as arguments had already been addressed.
But anyway I was going to... speak to them and my videos had an unprecedented
increase in the amount of views they received and I checked the source of that and
apparently he had been posting around the Internet asking about how he should classify
my videos for censorship. And that really upset me and... I didn't subsequently say
anything to him because his attempts were - to censor my videos were unsuccessful
and if I addressed him I would expect him to redouble his efforts and end up getting my
videos censored. And of course I'm expecting him to say 'it's not censorship because it's
private property' or whatever, I... (sigh) he isn't going around sycophantically trying to
get videos removed by people who are underage, who are under 13 or people who are
uploading copyrighted information, it has nothing to do with him being a sycophant it's
just because he disagrees with me and it's convenient for him to get my videos removed
because it - I don't know if it actually does but I wouldn't be surprised if my videos
violate the YouTube Terms of Service."
"Calling it anything other than censorship is just playing around with words. But anyway,
that upset me but it... it didn't really bother me that much but I've - there's this - oh man
I'm losing a lot of hair. I'm running my hand through my hair and going bald like crazy.
Anyway... man I'm too young for a toupee. I came across this blog called No Bad
Memes and I suspect it's the same person who's commenting. It would - about six
weeks around the year, the same person. It sounds like the same person - was
commenting about uh, basically the person - the person's blog expresses viewpoints
which are similar to mine."
"And the person never addresses the arguments and they just have endless
ad-hominems, they consistently respond to thousand word posts with ten word insults
and it's really, really bothering me. And you'd say 'why should something like that bother
you it's just some stranger why does his opinion matter?' it's not him... it's what he
represents."
"He's representing the entire enculturation process, that's what I'm feeling - I'm feeling
the enculturation and he's just the conduit of it. I mean if you were just insulting the way
I looked or something like that it would be different but he's taking anti-cultural
arguments, anti-rape arguments and... he's raping me with them. And he opposes this
rape metaphor that I use which doesn't make any sense because he advocates a
system under which rape exists both as a consequence of life existing and as a
consequence of sex being artificially scarce, because of enculturation."
"So actually he's literally advocating a system by which rape is prevalent, literal rape is
prevalent and he's criticizing me for... talking about metaphorical rape. And... (sigh) you
have to look at what rape is, why is rape harmful? Ask yourself that. And I know that he
won't ask himself that, he'll just insult me but why is rape harmful? It's because it's an
imposition contrary to the fulfilment of... well actually the contrariness doesn't matter, it's
just... it's an imposition of suffering and that's exactly what he's doing."
"I don't see any difference, I'm interpreting his behavior exactly the way someone would
interpret - a neurotypical person would be interpreting rape. It's not him, it's what he
represents, he represents culture and that's what's really upsetting me."
"And you can't just... say 'I'm not going to allow culture to bother me' because it does
bother you. You are scarred by culture, there's nothing that you can do about it, the only
reason - every action that you take is a consequence of it, of the suffering that's been
imposed onto you. You can't get around it, the only way to do that is to die and when I
want to help people by saying that suicide is in their self-interest, he takes the
pro-cultural route by trying to censor those videos saying that someone will get hurt by
them. What's ironic is that the person he's apparently wanting to help suicidal people
and he - he's worried that someone who comes across my videos might hurt
themselves, but from his perspective 'hurt' constitutes - I mean suicide constitutes hurt
and the person that he absolutely knows is suicidal is the one that he's hurting."
"I... okay I bungled a few words in that sentence but you understand my point. That's
what culture is, it... it's not trying to help people, it's trying to rape their values onto other
people. I wish that I could have cried about this, I tried - but I'm just too depressed to
cry. I almost did, and maybe I would feel better if I could. When I first encountered
him[?] - and I don't know what to call him other than a troll, that's definitely not -
accusing someone of being a troll isn't something that ever comes to my mind, it's
incomprehensible that someone would perform the theoretical activity of trolling."
"But he's consistently replied to No Bad Memes posts with just ad hominems and he
doesn't respond to the arguments. And look - look at what I'm doing, I'm not blaming it
on culture, I'm the problem. Why am I looking at these guys' comments? It - I mean
eventually during today it came to the point where I was no longer even, I mean toward
the last few minutes I was no longer even reading No Bad Memes posts and I was
instead just looking at... uh, Myrmidon's or whoever's insults."
"And why was I doing that? It's because I'm trying to - it's because my attachment - life
propagates itself and culture is an artificial imposition of suffering because suffering is
life-affirming and someone who is not suffering isn't going to be propagating life so life
develops its intelligence and sapient creatures develop this mannerism by which they'll
impose suffering on themselves so that they'll continue to propagate life. In a situation
where they wouldn't have otherwise done so."
"And so... that's exactly what I'm doing. I - I'm not consciously choosing to do so but
that's what it is, I'm - and it's not just this instance but frequently I'm - my deprivation is
the rage and sorrow that I experience as a consequence of my enculturation. And so I
do these things like... I look up people lambasting pedophiles and I look up people
praising culture and I look up people who are insulting people like me and I'm doing all
of these things because of culture. I'm imposing deprivations onto myself so that I'll live
because if it weren't for the rage and sorrow that I've experienced as a consequence of
my enculturation I would've killed myself long ago."
"Anyway, where's this file? There I have several ironic aspects of... his comments that I
talked about. Oh and - in one video he left a comment calling me a contradictory fucking
retard and then in another video he left a comment saying that he couldn't find where I
talk about the position which make me contradictory and he didn't consider the
possibility that maybe he can't find it because I'm not being contradictory after all and he
was attacking a strawman. And he'll just respond to this by insulting me further."
"And... what I was saying earlier - he tried to censor my pro-suicide videos because he
was allegedly concerned that someone who came across them might end up convinced
to kill themselves. And yet he doesn't notice that he's endlessly insulting the one person
who he is sure is suicidal, so if he really cared about people who were suicidal he
wouldn't be insulting me the way he is."
"And I frequently talked about how the systematic bullying in children's lives doesn't
come from their peers but from adults, and that culture is the systematic manipulation of
victims so as to coerce the victims into having the values of the adults. He says that I'm
wrong and that I have never been bullied while he endlessly insults me for opposing
culture, not realizing that he's trying to bully me into having the same values as he has."
"And that just seems really ironic that he's exhibiting the exact behavior that I'm talking
about that's upsetting me. This is really bothering me, I can't just forget about it. How
can I forget about it when I've been infected with language? And he'll just say 'oh
boohoo get over it you fucking emo loser, you should kill yourself' (sigh) he doesn't
address the arguments, culture doesn't address the arguments, culture is rape."
"There's nothing I can do about this and it - for as long as I live I'm going to continue
looking up... pro-culturalists like him. (sigh) Because suffering is life-affirming, no one
addresses - he (clicking sounds) where is that website where he talks about censoring
me? No one addressed the argument, no one refuted how life is not suffering and -
actually, you know what, okay I'm going to log in and I'm going to address every
comment that he's left. All of the comments that - the two, two likes and 46 dislikes that I
got in December. Two likes and 46 dislikes, that's just absurd."
"And one of my best videos - my 'A few things' video got nothing but dislikes. Anyways,
sign in[?] CulturalPhillistine..." (typing sounds)
You can find the link to the blog 'No Bad Memes' which Adam refers to in this video
here: NoBadMeme's Blogspot
It has been speculated that this blog actually may belong to Adam Lanza, but it's
unlikely that we'll ever know for certain.
Title: "To the pro-culturalists 2/3"
Date: January 28, 2012
Adam Lanza: "Onto these comments - first, 'My Antinatalism' video and... he removed
his comment. I'm actually genuinely surprised by that, maybe he realized he was being
very cruel for lack of a better word. Okay - nevermind, here he says in the 'Rambling
vlogrant of a ruminative vagrant' video - 'boohoo nobody but you cares about cultural
conditioning', that's actually quite false. Everyone cares about cultural conditioning, you
care about cultural conditioning, I do. You - you don't - civilization isn't something which
just emerges, it's a consequence of the indoctrination of children."
"Just because no one addresses it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist and I don't know
what else to say to that. And he says to me: 'You're projecting your own personal [???]
values onto everyone else.' That - he doesn't... I've admitted that value is a delusion and
I am deluded for believing that there's anything wrong with culture but that still doesn't
change what culture is. Culture is the systematic inflicting of artificial suffering, if you're
okay with that then I'll just... call you a dick and be done with it but you don't address the
argument."
"I - I just don't understand (sigh) I don't want to get into this. I know it's - I'm not
projecting my own personal horror. If culture weren't suffering - it doesn't matter that it's
suffering, but it is suffering and if it weren't suffering then we wouldn't be having this
conversation which is basically just consisting of you insulting me. And in my own way,
I'm insulting you and I'm doing it - I'm no different than you, I wish you could see that."
"And... he says: 'You should read William S. Burroughs, he's like you except not
retarded and self-contradictory' um I looked him up and - a while ago, when he posted
this and apparently he... William S. Burroughs, I didn't know who he was and I still don't
really know but he apparently wrote primarily fiction and my response to you is, well
thanks - genuinely thanks for the suggestion but I can't really get interested in fiction
unless there's something eerily relevant to my interests about it."
"Now, 'Antinatalism at light speed' (sigh) 'Nobody but you cares about destroying value'
- Okay, and?"
"There's something really bizarre about these pro-lifers who say, uh this isn't entirely
relevant but it's something I've been thinking about, it's really bizarre how they talk
about subjectivism and yet they oppose - they still oppose things and they advocate
civilization and, I mean they believe in property and they believe in all of these delusions
and rights and yet they're still talking about subjectivism and it just doesn't make any
sense and I don't know how to explain it, I'm really tired right now so I'll just go on to the
'Cults and Culture' video. Which I think I actually already clicked on, I'm really tired."
"'SomethingSea Response Part 1' apparently SomethingSea... had his account
removed. Which is really lame. 'Values are not lies you fucking idiot' he says to me.
Then what are they? What are values? Are they revealing the godly truth? Are they the
gift of a benevolent God revealing the truth of the world to us? Value isn't - value isn't
something which just floats around, here I typed this earlier. Evaluation is the perception
of deprivation, once a sentient creature dies it's not just that they've lost their perception
while the godly truth of values still floats around somewhere. There is no value there at
all because there is no deprivation, there's absolute neutrality. Value is a delusion of life
which is suffering and etcetera etcetera."
"Okay, if value isn't delusion then what is it? And in my Part 2 of that video he says
'You're not arguing, you're just repeating your original statements and changing the
subject', I'm not sure what he's talking about but whatever. I doubt it's anything
substantive because I haven't found a single one of his other comments that have
been."
"And in my 'Pointless CulturalPhillistine The Movie Part 1' he says 'I'm going to vomit if
you say the word deprivation one more time'... deprivation. What's - what else is life?
You haven't addressed that, you just endlessly insult me. You just analyze your
behavior, why do you feel any desire to respond to me? I mean I don't know your
circumstances in life but apparently from looking - you've probably had someone you've
known who's killed themselves and you're upset about that, and so once you've been
exposed to someone who advocates suicide, you feel a deprivation that you have to
fulfill by insulting me. That's how life operates. You have a deprivation then you act upon
the deprivation and you imperfectly solve them, there's nothing that you can do to save
yourself from the suffering other than kill yourself. That's why I'm advocating it, suicide is
solving all suffering."
"Because there's nothing in life that can come close to the bliss of suicide. Oh, and
(laughter) here in the - 'Pointless CulturalPhillistine The Movie Part 2' he says 'Death is
not happiness' - okay, what is happiness? It's the removal of a deprivation, suicide is the
absolute removal of deprivation, punching you into complete neutrality. How is that not
happiness?"
"And I don't think he responded to the other 'Pointless CulturalPhillistine' parts. (sigh) I
think he disliked every one of these because they each have one dislike. I don't know
why he spent so much time listening to my videos and why he spent so much time
reading No Bad Memes' blog... I don't know."
"And he didn't respond to my 'Strange Dream #1' but it has one dislike, and I suspect it
was him. 'SomethingSea Response #2' and he says, wait what? Oh what the fuck...
(laughter) he says: 'I discovered the experience of reading great novels on my own
actually', no you didn't. You didn't come across language and you didn't come across
literature, you didn't reach into a - a book tree and pull out a book and savor it. You were
exposed to literature and thus you became deprived of reading it."
"There has never been a single feral child who has been deprived of reading great
novels. You discovered the experience because you were coerced into a system in
which they exist. That's all that there is to it. I know that you're not going to respond to
this, you're just going to insult me again. You're going to say I'm not arguing, I'm just
repeating myself when you're not making any argument at all."
"Wow, my 'Suffering is Life Affirming' video, the most popular one and... what's this
question, is - I don't know what this is, but anyway... 14 comments, let's see. A lot of his
comments were removed I'm not sure what that was about. Heh, someone replied to
DerivedEnergy[?]'s comment. Um, DerivedEnergy said: 'You speak too quickly but you
make some good points and provoke debate' and Tint301[?] said 'Absolutely none of
that is praiseworthy', they didn't explain why none of it is praiseworthy they just said 'I
can't believe someone's expressing anti-life perspectives, I've got to insult him and not
address his arguments' and then DerivedEnergy said 'Life is a sexually transmitted fatal
disease, for some it is much more painful than others on our way to our graves, the
belief that life is a gift is a lie, DNA can only be perpetuated by either selfish or insane
animals' and then he said again 'absolutely none of that is praiseworthy'... he didn't
fucking address the argument."
"Anyway, I'm not sure what Tranquil87[?] was talking about, [???] months ago he said,
um, it sounded like he was mocking me but... I don't know. I can respect Tranquil87
because he actually, I mean, apparently here it sounds like he's mocking me but I'm not
going to get upset over that because he's actually, I mean you can actually speak to
him. He isn't - he doesn't represent culture, he - I mean assuming the worst, that he is
mocking me with that comment, that doesn't remotely bother me because he isn't
representing culture like Myrmidon is. He's just disagreeing with me, and I'm not sure
why he's disagreeing with me because life is the imposition of the suffering - I mean life
is the imposition of value and suffering. Makes perfect sense to me, I don't know what
else life would be."
"But Myrmidon is just... an endless representation of culture. Anyway, he removed a lot
of his comments. FaceyFaceFace[?] says 'you poor, poor soul' they're probably mocking
me too and... FaceyFaceFace if you are mocking me, please tell me what's wrong about
my argument. Suffering is life affirming and life is suffering, haven't seen anyone refute
that. It doesn't - and he says 'I've watched this video multiple times and I still don't
understand why you think life equals suffering and nothing else or why I should care
about deprivation or reward' I can actually appreciate that comment because he isn't
insulting me and he's actually asking in a direct question."
"And my answer is that I've said at least 5 times that there's no reason why you should
care about deprivation over reward, I mean everyone - nothing matters, suffering
doesn't matter, nothing does. But look at how life operates, first you're faced with a
deprivation and I know that you hate that word but what else is there to describe it? And
then you seek to remove that deprivation and that's the basis for every action you take
in life. And there's no reason why you should care about deprivation over reward, but
there is no reward without the deprivation and I say that life equals suffering... oh yeah I
remember now, one of the comments he removed, I saw it before he removed it, was...
let me try to remember."
"He said: 'So life has suffering and not is suffering' and I say that life is suffering
because life has nothing but suffering and so it may as well be that life is suffering, there
is no happiness because happiness is just the removal of the suffering. And so there
really is no reward that you're talking about, you're - you're just solving the problems
that you caused."
"And... ArtBenefactor[?] says 'Nice work Morpheus but I think I'll go with the blue pill'
and I wish he would respond to my arguments instead of just saying 'I'll go with the blue
pill', I'm not even sure which pill is which but whatever. And in my 'A few things' video he
says: 'you were never raped you are trivializing that word'... I've already addressed this,
but incase I decide to cut that out at the beginning, you're the one who advocates a
system by which rape can propagate. There would be no rape if there were no life,
you're defending life, you defend rape. And you defend culture, rape is... rape isn't just
something which happens to exist. Don't you think it's kind of odd that hunter-gatherers
have sex all of the time and we, in civilization, don't and yet you think that rape is just
about power, there's absolutely nothing about a scarcity of sex."
"But rape is caused by an artificial scarcity of sex, if - it's insane to think that there would
be no consequences to that."
Title: "To the pro-culturalists 3/3"
Date: January 28, 2012
Adam Lanza: "Oh, heh, I didn't see NaturalGrace[?]'s comment, he said: 'You sound
like a depressed self-loathing 16 year old that just read Nietzsche for the first time. Get
off the computer, graduate, make some friends and learn to enjoy life instead of
navel-gazing about it from the sidelines. Right now you are completely insufferable and
obnoxious, you also have zero sense of perspective, your mom telling you to do your
homework and clean your room is nothing like someone asking you to rape babies, God
damn.'"
"(sigh) Oh my God... how can I even respond to something like this? Okay, I'll - I'll start
with you sound like a depressed self-loathing 16 year old that is reading Nietzsche for
the first time. I barely know anything about Nietzsche except that he was a pro-life bigot
and I really don't care about anything that he said because he advocated life. Anyway,
get off the computer, graduate, make some friends, blah blah blah... you aren't
addressing my arguments. I've already said that I'm in a very privileged position, I can
accomplish anything I would desire in life and I came to this perspective because I
thought about what I wanted out of life and when I analyzed why I wanted those things I
realized that it was entirely a consequence of my enculturation."
"And then I realized that the only reason why anyone wants to live is because they're
suffering, that's all that there is to life. You just try to remove your suffering. Make some
friends? I don't want to make friends with someone like you. Um, and learn to enjoy life
instead of navel-gazing about it from the sidelines... (sigh) I don't know what to say to
that. He says I'm completely insufferable and obnoxious, what's insufferable and
obnoxious? Me who wants to maintain non-exist - this, the default state of nonexistence
or you who wants to advocate life and impose it onto people who don't want it?"
"You seem to think that... you think that life is - I don't understand, how is life not rape?
No one consents to being born, they're - they have no choice with their enculturation. I
mean, how can you look at a photograph of a city and not - that's civilization, that's what
it does. And when I hear culture all I think is that - is of that video with Coco, that's - oh
my God, this is so crazy. How does culture propagate if not by the imposition of
delusions onto children who have absolutely no say in the matter?"
"It's not this person right now who's bothering me, it's an amalgam of people I've seen
on the Internet who say that I'm the authoritarian for opposing the imposition of life.
(sigh) You're the one who sees children as your property. You don't like me to use the
word rape because you have this cultural delusion where, I don't want to get into this but
you're the one that advocates rape, literally and metaphorically."
"What you're saying is that the propagation of life and the indoctrination of children is
not the propagation of life and the indoctrination of children. I don't know what to say to
that. How can it be anything other than that?"
"You think that there are just two parties when someone - two people are having sex
when really there's a third party involved and you're forcing them to live. You're - you
create their suffering and you want to add insult to injury by enculturing them, they have
absolutely no consent, they have to conform to your cultural delusions or else they'll be
imprisoned. And just because you're subordinate enough to have internalized your
enculturation doesn't mean that it wasn't an imposition and that it wasn't anything other
than suffering."
"And just as I said to Myrmidon, you're the one who advocates a system by which rape
can propagate. You're the one who advocates this, what the fucking Hell? And all that
you're saying right now is 'accept value, accept value, accept the rape'... you're just
trying to call it by another name. Bet you're a pedophobe, too. God... you fucking piss
me off, NaturalGrace, let's see your channel."
"Antarctica? Oh you're so clever. Fucking Hell... I don't understand how someone can
listen to my 6 hours of video and think that I'm talking about cleaning a room. I don't
understand how someone can not look at hunter-gatherers and see that we're the
insane ones and they're the enlightened ones, and then once you understand it from
that perspective I don't understand how you can look at a rock and not understand that
the rock is the enlightened ones, and that we're the fucking retards."
"We're going around believing in all of these magical fairytales and you're calling me a
Nietzsche wanna-be. I don't fucking care what Nietzsche said. I'm looking at life for what
it is, he was one of you, he - he defended life. Completely insufferable and obnoxious...
my God you're the one who creates this. Actually, why am I so offended by that, that
comment just means 'you're acting in a way which is contrary to the fulfilment of my
value' and I'm doing the same fucking retarded nonsense, we're both retard - we're both
retarded."
"I don't understand how I'm the only one who can see that. And Ghost of Eazy-E said:
'Wow, terrible'.... why don't you elaborate or are you just going to insult me like
NaturalGrace did and not address the argument that life is suffering? That no one
consents, that people are raped into it?"
"And... next, my 'On Pedophiles and Children' video, I think it's pretty funny that this
video, where I essentially denounce the classification of children as distinct from adults
has itself been age restricted. (laughter) That's... just so bizarre."
"It has zero likes and 11 dislikes. Okay, NaturalGrace apparently responded to this,
okay and... I'll start with Brad Rapstar's, he says: 'If you have to make an 8 part
two-hour defense of why you're not a pedophile you're probably a pedophile' what the
fucking Hell? I - I have 6 hours of videos where I'm talking about civilization and you
seem to think that that has - if I were really a pedophile why would I be talking about the
philosophical implications of it? Why would that at all - (sigh) I care about, I mean I
highly doubt you listened to my entire video because some parts only have like 5 views
while this one has over a hundred, but... if you actually listened to it, you would
understand that pedophobia represents what culture is, it's just a bunch of lies which
exist to propagate this system."
"You don't care about children, I do care about children. You're the one who wants to
rape children, I'm the one who wants to save them from a life of suffering that you want
to impose onto them. You're the one who sees them as your property, I'm the one who
wants to free them. (sigh) [???] says: 'Look there are valid criticisms of society's
mentality towards pedophilia, it's led to ruined lives via false accusations and
discourages pedophiles from seeking treatment but you sound like you want to fuck kids
and rationalize away the harms such acts are causing by imagining them as miniature
adults, there's literally a ton of psychological studies based on sound methodology as
opposed to your blind conjecture and that says you're full of shit, what the Hell dude, get
help.'"
"If you really cared about children then why are you advocating civilization? Civilization
is the systematic rape of - mindfucking of the children, of children's minds but you don't
care about children, you don't care about that because you want to propagate your own
values onto them! You're angry at me because I want to free children from you.
Because - I don't want to allow you to have children be your property. And I don't
understand why I'm so alone on this, I feel like I'm the only non-pedophile in the entire
world who can see that this hysteria about childhood sexuality isn't about protecting
children, it's about protecting their status as property."
"I would expect non-misandrist feminists and anarchists to be on my side but they never
are, I'm the only one who can see this hysteria and it's - my God. I don't want to see
children as adults because I don't want anyone to be adults because that - I don't want
there to be a system in which there - my God, just look at hunter-gatherer societies.
They don't have this child abuse which you're advocating."
"This really upsets me... if you care so much about the damage of children then why are
you advocating that they live? And why are you advocating their enculturation? Culture
is the harm, look at all of these problems and - they wouldn't exist if it weren't for culture.
And NaturalGrace says: 'I'm opposed to the idea that pedophiles should be tarred and
feathered rather than taught the skills necessary to keep them from acting on their
desires, but this does not come off as academic on your part at all.'"
"I agree that it's not academic I just... used academic for lack of a better word, that's
why I paused before every single time I said academic because I'm not sure what word I
should be using. But anyway he says: 'Based on the level of discourse in this video I'm
not going to invest two hours of my time listening to the rest, to say that people who feel
traumatized by CSA are brainwashed is incredibly insulting. I think they are better
arbiters of their experiences then you are.' (sigh)"
"You - why do you call sexual interaction between adults and children, CSA - child
sexual abuse, by default? This is a profound level of special pleading that you have to
resort to to say that sex is - if you believe that all sex, if you're opposed to the
manipulation of children then how is sex distinct from any other form of manipulation
that YOU advocate? I'm the one who doesn't want to manipulate children."
"You fucking retards see them as your property... God this is so insane. No comments
on the second part, no comments on the third part because no one fucking listened to it.
No comments on the fourth part, just dislikes. No comments on the fifth part, no
comments on the sixth - oh there was a comment, heh. [???] 101 says: 'What the F?
Get a life' - umm, what does getting a life entail?"
"Accepting your values? Which means that you want me to... oh my God. No comments
on the seventh, no comments on the eighth. And... Myrmidon's still talking about me
trivializing rape when he's the one that advocates rape. And [???] I think he removed
this comment, yes he did."
"And my 'Done with YouTube' video... wish that were the case. He says: 'There is no
justification whatsoever for negative, positive or neutral attitude' and I don't understand
why you think that I'm saying anything other than that? There is no justification for
anything. I - I believe, I feel that there's justifications because I'm deluded. I don't know
where I've said anywhere that that isn't the case. Of course there is no justification for
anything."
"(sigh) And so now what? Well my... videos haven't gotten much traffic in the last month
or so, it was just because he was talking about censoring my videos that they got so
much attention. And so... what can I even say to you people? (sigh) There's nothing to
say to you. Fucking seven hours, eight hours, I don't know... I could explain it for a
thousand hours and you'd still be advocating the indoctrination of children. And I'm so -
I'm so upset about this because that's all that I see you doing, the way that you interpret
pedophiles raping children is the way that I interpret the way that you - you advocate
this system."
"What else can I say about this? There's nothing to say. This is hopeless."
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